Crap!
I came to the conclusion that Brittany had to do what she had to do in order to better her situation. But now I truely don't believe that. Perhaps she did have to better her situation but she didn't have to leave the way she did. She's seriously stopped talking to me altogether. So maybe what I said previously about me not meaning as much to her as I thought before was true. I mean how can you just leave someone like and just forget about them. She doesn't answer my text messages. And I'm left wondering what I did wrong? I thought her and I were awesome unseperable friends, man was I mistaken. I've decided as much as I'm hurt by what she did I'm going to forgive her. Although she may never know I forgive for leaving me and forgetting about me, I'm still going to fogive her. I'm going to forgive her and move on with my life. I'm going to focus on the people who truely care about me and there caring is not a question. Maybe one day she will look back and realize what a good friend she lost or maybe not, it really doesn't matter to me, that's not the result I'm hoping for with moving on. So on another subject... I was looking at older pictures of me and kinda got depressed. I use to be so pretty, and I don't know what the fuck happened to me. I use to be so skinny and look so happy in all those pictures. I think half the reason I'm not happy sometimes is because I'm not happy with myself. I think I'm fucking ugly. I've put on alot of weight, I'm fat, and I think I really miss my long hair. I just don't look anything like what I use to, and I like the way I use to look. I've gone to absolute shit. I don't know what happened. Oh well maybe I need to starve myself again or something... haha! New subject... so today one of my friend's, Justin; well his girlfriend punched him in the face. I was so pissed. She punched him cause he was tickling her and she made his eye bruise and she sliced under his eye. I fucking hate that girl. Justin begged me not to say anything to her and it took me all I could not too. I mean how the hell do you punch someone you care about in the face. She's such a fucking idiot. Justin is a super sweet guy, and I know the only reason he stays with that stupid bitch is because he doesn't think highly enough of himself to leave her. I just wish he would wake up and see he's an attractive, sweet, kind being and he deserves much better than her skank ass. By the end of the day though I couldn't keep from saying anything. I got up in her face and asked her what the fuck she was thinking. And that if she ever layed another hand on Justin I was gonna put my hands on her. He was such a gentleman not to hit her, because to be honest if my girlfriend was to ever do that intentionally I'd fucking deck her ass. I just wish his girlfriend would she what she's got and stop taking him for granted. Justin always gets rude, bitchy girlfriends and I wish he'd hurry up and find a good one. It just sucks that good people get fucked over and over again before they get something good. It's Thanksgiving vacation now, but it's really not going to be a vacation for me since i have a huge eco. powerpoint project due. I have to go to work!