(no subject)
I didn't want to post much detail on Facebook but I do need to write this out, process it.
Today while I was at work I read an e-mail on my phone from my neighbor that she found a black and white cat between our houses that had met a gruesome end. I hadn't seen Casandra for a few days and strongly suspected it was her. I went to see. She was totally eviscerated and then some. It was clear some animal had enjoyed her for a meal. I could see her skull, spine, and ribs. I had a deep need to confirm it was her. So despite my great repulsion I had to look closer to find some familiar trait. The only thing that was relay intact was her ears, and they were hers.
My cat was old. I've had her since I was eight making her 16 years old at death. She live a long and comfortable life. Since she developed a limp last year and was diagnosed with arthritis I became gradually acceptent of her dying. I was ready to find her body, but I always pictured it intact. Seeing her like that quickly drove me into hysterics. It was made all the harder that their was no one home and Sean was working until 2am. I actually went back to work just to have the comfort of a person in my presence.
I called my mom and cried at her, she told me I should call my brother Toby. I first attempted to respond in e-mail to my neighbor but as I was typing an apology that we had to wait until tomorrow to take care of her I suddenly realized I could not leave her in such a state. At the same time I knew that I could not bear to take care of it myself. I called my sister in law Charity. Being the compassionate sole that she is. I didn't even have to ask of them what I needed. She knew, they rushed here, I played with my nephew while they buried my cat. I am so grateful to them. I do feel a wight lifted knowing she isn't all gore and bare bones like she was.
I loved my cat. Towards the end I admit I thought her mostly a nuisance, it seemed she was becoming senile. But she was there for me when I had no friends. She was a source of unconditional affection which I needed that so badly. I will miss her. I'm so sad she died violently. Mom suggested that its more likely she was already dying and was dead in the ally then an animal found her and made a meal of her. Its a nicer thought then that she was attacked and died in pain. I will never know which it is. And in the end it doesn't matter.
Goodbye Casandra.
Today while I was at work I read an e-mail on my phone from my neighbor that she found a black and white cat between our houses that had met a gruesome end. I hadn't seen Casandra for a few days and strongly suspected it was her. I went to see. She was totally eviscerated and then some. It was clear some animal had enjoyed her for a meal. I could see her skull, spine, and ribs. I had a deep need to confirm it was her. So despite my great repulsion I had to look closer to find some familiar trait. The only thing that was relay intact was her ears, and they were hers.
My cat was old. I've had her since I was eight making her 16 years old at death. She live a long and comfortable life. Since she developed a limp last year and was diagnosed with arthritis I became gradually acceptent of her dying. I was ready to find her body, but I always pictured it intact. Seeing her like that quickly drove me into hysterics. It was made all the harder that their was no one home and Sean was working until 2am. I actually went back to work just to have the comfort of a person in my presence.
I called my mom and cried at her, she told me I should call my brother Toby. I first attempted to respond in e-mail to my neighbor but as I was typing an apology that we had to wait until tomorrow to take care of her I suddenly realized I could not leave her in such a state. At the same time I knew that I could not bear to take care of it myself. I called my sister in law Charity. Being the compassionate sole that she is. I didn't even have to ask of them what I needed. She knew, they rushed here, I played with my nephew while they buried my cat. I am so grateful to them. I do feel a wight lifted knowing she isn't all gore and bare bones like she was.
I loved my cat. Towards the end I admit I thought her mostly a nuisance, it seemed she was becoming senile. But she was there for me when I had no friends. She was a source of unconditional affection which I needed that so badly. I will miss her. I'm so sad she died violently. Mom suggested that its more likely she was already dying and was dead in the ally then an animal found her and made a meal of her. Its a nicer thought then that she was attacked and died in pain. I will never know which it is. And in the end it doesn't matter.
Goodbye Casandra.