so it has been a while!
Well hello all no i am not dead! i am here just a busy lil bee! Well i am all moved into my apartment! it is a blast i love it and my roomies, there are things i miss, but that is life i guess! I miss this summer, i met some fun people and miss just hanging out in my basement with my friends being stupid and listening to music! It is definatly a summer i will remember! School started a week ago, boo! but it is already going by so fast. We had recruitment for the sorority last week and we have our bid day party tomorrow for 50 new members!! They are awesome and very hot by the way, so if you need hooked up lemme know! *wink wink Yesterday i went to a funeral, which is never fun. It was my great grandma Avis (dad's dad's mom) she lived to be 95, hopefully i will be so lucky to live such a great life full of love. To be honest with you I have been pretty depressed lately. I have been back and forth with myself on so many issues going on around me i dont know which way is up lately. I miss my truly good friends, those of you know who you are... I am having withdraw and could use a good cry. dont get me wrong my friends here are good, but you all know we have something different! I find myself getting upset over the stupidest things and for the dumbest reasons. I just want to be happy again. I miss things and certain people that i thought i wouldnt and didnt miss. and i cant deside if it is him or what we shared that i miss. and i think it makes it worse to know that he is happy and not to mention happier with her than he was with me. like i said before i am done with games but i feel as if i am never lose of them. I am ready for the one, but i know that now that i am looking i wont find him. I am afraid to let myself find him. I thought i knew what i wanted, i thought i found it, then things happened and my thoughts changed on what i wanted, and i thought i found it. Now i find myself stuck in a rut. I dont want to meet anyone new, and i put too much into trying to be there for him, when deep down i know i am not wanted. I just wish that once again i had the strength to move on. I need a reminder that guys suck! lol my friend mary reminded me that no matter who they are if they are male they are an ass! Aside from all of that drama, life is still poopy... i need to find a way to be myself again, i need to find a way to be happy again. I know that i have to do it on my own, it is just the getting started part i am stuck on. but no worries kids with a lil support from you i should be as good as new soon! i miss you all greatly and love you deeply! kiss kiss bye