Good Omens flopsy for 1ightning, Snamione crackfic

Jan 11, 2007 17:10

ETA 3:19 p.m.: Evening nosebleeds: V V Double-check. 9:30 p.m. -- dripped on a clothing store's wooden floor. 10 p.m. -- almost bled into my chicken soup. Haha.
Such a conducive condition to write "Dragon Rose" >_> If I write the fic, will the nosebleed stop already? Bleagh.

Happy Birthday, 1ightning! :-D

Since I can’t leave perfectly good drabbles alone, this is sorta a continuation to “The Holy Book,” a AziCrow drabble nekare wrote me last year.

"Reading Omens in Harry Potter" by lilian_cho
300-word flopsy for 1ightning. Prompt: The reaction of anyone from GO after reading HP. A/C = extra brownie points!
Warning: Spoilers for OotP :-P



"Crowley! You lying devil, you!"

Crowley looked over his shoulder to see who had stated the most obvious thing in the world.* And did a double-take when he saw a close-to-blubbering Aziraphale.

"You lowest member of the denizens in Hell! You said I’d like these books!"

He would’ve encouraged this unangelic display of emotion, but the fact that Aziraphale’s frustration is directed toward him niggled.

Crowley pushed the bridge of his sunglasses up. "Why, a very good morning to you too, my dear angel. What seems to be the problem here?"

"You! You’re the problem here! I told you I only like antique books-and you told me to read these--" Here he shoved an armful of Harry Potter books into Crowley’s arms. "Because of the homosexual subtext of Quidditch**! You made me read this travesty of all that is beautiful and wonderful in the world and friendship and family and faith and--"

Crowley felt he was quickly losing the plot. "Homosexual what? In any case, don’t you like it?"

Aziraphale wibbled. "You could’ve warned me that Sirius was going to die in the Fifth Book!"

* Alright, not the most obvious thing in the world, which is: Do not throw a lighted cigarette at your friend if he was doused in gasoline. And Aziraphale would like to point out that the second most obvious thing in the world is: Do not wear brown belt if you are wearing black shoes.

** One could hardly even call it subtext. Etymologists point out that the word “Quidditch” is derived from “Queer Ditch”-“Queer” being the hip self-affirming term adopted by homosexuals of the last century or so, and “Ditch” being what you do to last season’s designer shoes. For more information, please consult R.J. Lupin’s excellent thesis, “Sublimation And The Snitch”

ETA 06/22/09: Remixed by benebu: It Started With An HP Box Set (The Footnote-Happy Remix)
[Crowley/Aziraphale, 100 Words, Rated PG]

"The punishment will suit the crime"
Snamione drabble by somigliana's husband
somigliana wrote: Yes, he loves ripping this one off
(The crackish H/D he wrote is here: “Well...you put the tip in your mouth and suck.”)

Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Snape/Hermione (d-uh)
Length: 163 words
Beta-ed and edited by: lilian_cho
Archive: Ask somigliana for permission :-P

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.


“So, the three of you have been at it again. Causing trouble. This time the punishment will suit the crime. I know that you, Hermione, are just a pawn in this.”

“These two,” he pointed at Potter and Weasley, “are at fault.” He continued, “You may leave us.”

As she walked out of his study, Snape felt a pang of sorrow. He would have liked to hold her in his arms and make slow sensual love to her. He even entertained the thought of rough and wild sex with this beguiling, intelligent young woman named Hermione.

After punishing the two who had remained in his study and dismissing them, Hermione entered his study in tears. “How could you? You said that there would be no favouritism towards me. I demand to have the same punishment as the boys.”

Snape got up, removed his belt and adjusted his pants.

“Fine, bend over and take it like a man.”

Snape still believes in corporal punishment.

lytdybr, presents, lj, birthday, fandom, remixed, fanfiction, :♥slytherins, [good omens], crack, drabbles, fanfic rec

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