...Only every other memory
I have severe jealousy issues. Wow. I mean, it's no secret that I can be an attention hog. I appreciate attention quite a bit. And I've never really been able to hide my jealous tendencies, but it's starting to shock me how jealous I can be. Completely unwarranted, I always jump to the worst conclusions and take everything personally and out of context. I need to grow up, I guess. Even when I have a guy who shows no interest in others, gives me no reason not to trust him, and pretty much does everything right, I can't control the jealousy. I'm not sure what made me this way- so paranoid.
Notwithstanding, my anxiety is really killing me. I need a way to deal with stress and frustration that doesn't involve exploding every few weeks in an embarrassing and inconvenient display of emotion. I need to find a way to worry less, particularly when the worrying is basically unfounded. I appreciate that I am able to think situations through and mentally analyze the many options of what could happen, but any insecurity can make me think and worry until I've exhausted all there is to think about. Then I think on it some more. I'm driving myself crazy. Is there an easy solution that I'm overlooking? What am I doing wrong? Why can't I ever calm my nerves?
To yet again point out more of my own flaws, I must admit that it feels good to have the feeling of having the upper hand again. I think in my relationships, that's something I need. Or at least need to think I have. I simply cannot be with someone who oppresses me and beats me down to nothing. I've lost too much that way, and I'll be damned if I ever let that happen again. I really don't want to get too serious too fast here, but all is going smoothly for now... but considering what I just left, any view will look great. We'll see, won't we.
Notwithstanding, my anxiety is really killing me. I need a way to deal with stress and frustration that doesn't involve exploding every few weeks in an embarrassing and inconvenient display of emotion. I need to find a way to worry less, particularly when the worrying is basically unfounded. I appreciate that I am able to think situations through and mentally analyze the many options of what could happen, but any insecurity can make me think and worry until I've exhausted all there is to think about. Then I think on it some more. I'm driving myself crazy. Is there an easy solution that I'm overlooking? What am I doing wrong? Why can't I ever calm my nerves?
To yet again point out more of my own flaws, I must admit that it feels good to have the feeling of having the upper hand again. I think in my relationships, that's something I need. Or at least need to think I have. I simply cannot be with someone who oppresses me and beats me down to nothing. I've lost too much that way, and I'll be damned if I ever let that happen again. I really don't want to get too serious too fast here, but all is going smoothly for now... but considering what I just left, any view will look great. We'll see, won't we.