Nighttime
Nights are the hardest. I lay in my bed and the loneliness creeps in like a silent thief. It steals my rest, leaves me staring into the darkness, wishing for a sleep that will not end.
This feeling at night is why I let the hope live inside me. Hope is powerful. Hope combined with love, capable of overcoming anything in creation. Defeating loneliness and the despair that follows in its footsteps is a small thing for hope.
If only I didn't feel guilty for having hope. If only I didn't feel so naive and stupid for it. Hope that the man I knew and love still, somehow exists in the one who grew in his place. Hope that he will win, and once the battle is won, will come for me....
Someday. Maybe.
Live on little ray of hope, let me have my rest for now. Let me believe in that which seems impossible in the present moment. And, should the time I need you come to an end, part with my gratitude that you have existed and carried me through this darkness.
For now though, it is time to face the darkness again, alone, and try to rest.