Title: Won't Leave Again
Rating: Green Cortina
Pairing: Sam/Gene
Wordcount: 2075
Summary: Sam/Gene cuddles that accidentally grew into a 2x08 missing scene.
Notes: Wrote this to cheer myself up. Gene-whump, fluff, emotional h/c. Sorry for the switching viewpoints and the massive flashback.
"Sam, come here." Gene reached out and tugged at the back of Sam's pyjama top.
Sam shifted and rolled over to face him. "What's the matter?" He murmured sleepily.
Gene tucked his good leg over Sam's, wrapped his arm across his shoulders. "Can't sleep."
Gene felt him tense up. "Oh, gosh," Sam said in a rush of expelled air, quickly pulling Gene in against him, face in Gene's hair. "Sorry, I didn't know you were still..."
He prevented Sam from finishing that sentence ('...having nightmares') by kissing him softly. "S'alright. Just need to know you're 'ere."
"God, of course I am." He hugged Gene tightly, pressing his palms firmly to various places down Gene's back.
"Not going back to Hyde?"
Sam shook his head. "No. Never. I want to stay. I need to. ...Is that what...?"
"Hmm. Amongst other things."
He squeezed Gene's arm. "I'm sorry. I promise, I'm not going anywhere."
Gene bit back a retort about Sam being at Morgan's beck and call. "Good."
"How's your leg feeling, do you need a painkiller?"
"No!" Gene gripped the back of Sam's neck more tightly than he'd meant to. He relaxed his grip, alarmed at his own desperation to hold onto Sam. "Ugh. Bloody..." He couldn't explain it.
"Ok. Alright." Sam kissed his forehead, and Gene shut his eyes. His nerves were still jangling, internally quaking although his hands were perfectly steady. Every so often there was a burst of gunfire in his memory, and Annie yelling for Chris, trying to calm him down. Ray getting shot right in front of him. He quickly opened his eyes again. Focused on the bobbing of Sam's throat as he swallowed. He ought to blame this man. It was his radio that ruined everything. But Gene couldn't do it. He could only blame himself.
"I can hear you thinking." Sam gave him a small, wry smile. "It's normally me doing that."
"Don't suppose you've any tips for how to turn it off, then? Having had all the practice?"
"Erm...If you try too hard to keep your mind blank it stops you relaxing. Think about Chris' birthday party instead? Vince having a go at the piñata and getting a face full of glitter?"
"He almost didn't have a birthday party," Gene said bitterly, before he could shut his mouth. "That's down to me."
"Gene, no. Come on..." He pressed his lips to Gene's sideburn. "You did the right thing. I..." He paused. "I wasn't pulling my weight. I regret that more than I can tell you. I've had a long time to think...But please. Please don't put this on your shoulders. Focus on getting your leg better."
"They're my team, Sam. You all are."
"I know, I know." Sam's sigh ruffled the hairs on Gene's neck. Gene shivered. "Cold?" Sam let go of Gene's arm to pull the covers up tighter around them both.
Gene fractionally shook his head. He tucked his hand up underneath the front of Sam's top, stroking his stomach, which resulted in a small yelp.
"Your fingers are freezing."
Gene pouted. "Don't feel cold. Just...weird."
Sam briefly hugged him again, began to rub warmth into the back of Gene's hand where it rested. He eventually knotted their fingers together. "I really wish none of it had happened." He told Gene quietly.
Gene raised an eyebrow. The things they had almost lost in the tunnel had become a catalyst.
"Ok, maybe not all of it. This is...I'm glad this happened. But not your leg, or the team, or me..."
"Dangerously close to rambling, Sammy-boy."
Sam had a way of smiling at him with just his eyes, crinkling at the corners, mouth barely twitching. "I'll shut up, then, shall I?"
Anxiety coiled in Gene's guts again. Sam must have been able to sense it, because he launched back into recounting more of Chris' birthday antics. Gene didn't listen to the words, he already knew everything that had happened, but it was surprisingly comforting to listen to Sam's voice...
---
Sam gradually allowed his speech to trail off as he noticed Gene's breathing even out. Good, that had worked. He'd been counting on the number of times previously that Gene had fallen asleep on him in the office whenever he'd told stories about cases from Hyde. At first Sam had assumed Gene was simply taking the piss, but once he'd crept up and clicked his fingers right next to Gene's ear and Gene'd not flinched, he'd accepted it was real. Couldn't have been comfortable, sleeping with his feet on the desk like that, but perhaps Gene was used to not going home at night. Sam had found evidence to support this theory in the form of a rough, heavy, off-yellow blanket tucked under the sofa cushions.
Now in their bed, Sam carefully squeezed Gene's hand and attempted to settle back down himself. He felt tremendously guilty, seeing the true extent of what the botched train job had done to Gene. He knew the leg was bad, but Gene made jokes about it all day long, and didn't let it stop him carrying on as normal. There had been a few nights a week or two ago when Gene had woken up yelling Sam's name, that drawn out howl of Tyler which had haunted Sam's dreams for months during his time in 2006. But since then, nothing. No mention of it. Sam had all but assumed Gene was fine, because the Guv was always fine, and wouldn't appreciate Sam's enquiring even if he weren't. But evidently Gene was still suffering and Sam hadn't noticed it. It had been...almost a month since the shootout, from Gene's perspective? It felt like a lifetime for Sam...
---
It had been easy, so easy to step back in and save them. He'd landed in exactly the right spot, at exactly the right moment to fire off two shots into Johns' chest. Gene had looked up at him, head back on the rocks of the track, and Sam had been so utterly relieved to see his face that he wanted to grin. He'd been in danger of forgetting what he looked like, during all those days in physio and being told repeatedly that none of them existed.
He walked over and reached down to touch him, got shrugged off with an "I'm not a fairy."
Sam tried not to let the rejection faze him. Gene had every reason in the world to be utterly furious with him, but his eyes were saying something else. Sam looked right down into them, willing everything to be okay. "I don't care what you are, you can't stay lying here all day." Gene's expression clouded over; Sam forced himself to break the gaze. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Morgan's radio. He turned off the channel he'd been fruitlessly calling for help on, clicked onto the station's wavelength, handed the radio to Annie. "We'll probably need three or four ambulances. Could you get on to Phyllis for me?" She nodded jerkily, apparently not trusting herself to speak, clasped his hand tightly before moving off into the open, out of the tunnel, searching for the best signal.
Sam crouched down. "How you're doing, Chris?"
Chris laughed. "Bit shot. But glad to see you, Boss."
"We need to do something about your wound." Sam unzipped his borrowed brown security jacket, slid it off and started yanking at the stitching at the top of a sleeve. It came away with some sharp tugging, and he began trying to tear it into strips.
"I'll do it," Ray spoke up, holding out a shaking hand. Chris gave Ray an astonished look that suggested a large chunk of his faith in policing had just been restored.
Sam eyed the blood on his uniform with concern. "You're hurt too, Ray."
"I don't care. Give it here."
Sam handed the torn sleeve over without further argument, stood upright as Annie called his name, leaving the rest of the jacket on the ground. "Already on their way, Sam."
"Great, thanks." He couldn't help smiling broadly at her. She was heading back towards them. Sam pivoted and walked round to Gene's injured side, knelt down again. Gene eyes were closed, his body curled up over his shot leg, hiding it from the others. One arm was still flung out to the side where he had fallen, pale wrist exposed. Sam wanted to curl his fingers round it and feel Gene's pulse.
"I really am sorry, mate."
Gene opened his eyes to slits, glared at Sam through them. "'Mate'? That's new."
"Get used to it." Sam said firmly, before Annie joined them.
"You could use my neckerchief?" She said as she knelt down on Gene's other side. "For his leg. It's a bit thin but it's easier to tie into knots."
"Perfect! Thank you."
She unwound the blue and white-spotted scarf from her neck and passed it over to Sam. He shook it out flat, folded it in half widthways, then lengthways.
"Guv?" Annie touched Gene's shoulder gingerly. "You have to let Sam see."
Gene groaned. "Yeah, I know. Just get on with it." He unbent his leg a bit, visibly gritting his teeth.
Sam tucked one end of the material underneath Gene's knee, then used both to slide it up Gene's thigh, careful not to shred the fabric on the rocky ground. He peered around, managed to identity where most of the blood was coming from, gave Gene a second's warning, then made as tight a knot as he could sensibly make.
Gene swore brightly - Annie reflexively squeezed his arm.
"That's it, you're done, you're done." Sam assured him quickly.
Right on cue, there was a shout from the top of the bank. The ambulance driver explained that he'd try to reverse partway down the slope. Ray and Chris, roughly patched up by one another, gingerly stood up and got out of the way, walking further into the tunnel.
"You two get this one." Gene told them firmly.
Ray looked troubled. "But, Guv -"
"Go. Annie, keep an eye on them."
Annie gave him a soft smile. "Okay."
After several minutes of careful wrangling, the first ambulance loaded up and drove off, leaving Sam and Gene alone on the tracks. (Apart from Johns and his gang, who were all breathing but unconscious - Sam had to check.)
"Could you sit up?"
"What do you think I've been trying to do?"
Sam bent down and got an arm around his back, but the moment he did so, Gene grabbed a fistful of Sam's shirt and yanked him even closer. "You were walking away," he snarled.
"It's a long story." Sam said slowly, pinned in place by Gene's fury. "But I'm on your side."
"You left me to die. And then you changed your mind. Why?"
"Morgan tricked me. Please believe me, I never wanted anyone to get hurt. Least of all you." Sam's voice cracked. Gene's eyes widened.
Sam quickly looked at the floor, vision blurring. He shook himself, blinked back the tears, wound his other arm around Gene's waist, and with a huge effort lifted him up. Gene's knee refused to engage at first, but once he got his good leg to hold firm under him, they found their balance. Gene's fist uncurled from Sam's shirt, clung on round his shoulders instead.
"Bastard. You're lucky I believe you."
Sam smiled wanly. "That's a start."
---
Gene opened his eyes. He must have been asleep. He didn't remember dropping off, and he didn't remember dreaming either. He checked his watch - half eight, he'd slept in. To his right, Sam was sitting up against the headboard, flicking through a case file, hair too dry to have just had a shower.
Gene blinked up at him. "You haven't been for your run?"
Sam shrugged, putting the file down on the bedside table. "Didn't want you to wake up with me gone. Besides, it's raining."
"Doesn't usually stop you."
Sam leant down and kissed him. The angle was slightly awkward, Gene lying down and Sam craning sideways over him, but Gene got an excellent view of his outstretched neck. Sam teased his lips apart with his tongue, and Gene let his jaw fall open, reaching up to run his fingers through Sam's hair, until eventually Sam straightened up.
He gently squeezed Gene's shoulder. "Alright if I get us coffee?"
Gene nodded, watching Sam clamber out of bed. "Ta."