nostalgia on christmas?
OK so I'm back home in California!! Today is the first day it's rained since I arrived Sunday. I was anticipating this day would come (the first day of rain) but it's still a little sad.
My thoughts have been varied, especially since this will be the last time indefinitely that I'll be home in California.
I think back to the day I moved out here 2 years ago. Fog so thick I didn't understand how Earl drove through it w/o killing us. Jayden sooo adorable and just starting to crawl (which, btw, I missed Jayden's first crawl... I was here for Keaton's!!!) :-D Things so different, so new... I was a little scared. I never really imagined I would fall in love with it.
Then, less than a month later, I met Jake. I told everyone I wouldn't come out here & fall for some military guy... WHODA THUNK?!??! Now I look back on our time together and realize... he wasn't a bad guy at all. In fact (and this may just be the nostalgia talking) I kind of miss him. It's weird, I know, but I looked at his myspace tonight and ... :( I think he's back in Iraq. That scares me, what if something happens to him? I know we aren't part of each others' lives anymore, but I wonder if he ever thinks a/b me?
It's comin on Christmas and again this year, I'm single. Now... I'm ok w/this, but it's getting monotanous! 21 Christmases of having no one... 21 New Year's over having no one. Maybe that's why I miss Jake. Maybe being on base and reminising back on the most amazing 6 months of my life makes me miss him. He was, afterall, the first guy I kissed, and he was actually a really sweet guy. He could be pushy at times and he wasn't gorgeous (or even really cute for that matter) but since when are looks everything? I'm learning that more and more.
Ok...well enough of that. California is again, everything I remember! It's not as green yet b/c it really hasn't rained a lot.
Jayden is amazing and Keaton is one of the 2 most gorgeous little boys in the world (he's of course tied w/AJ). It's almost funny how many times I've had to keep myself from calling him AJ. He has the most adorable, toothless smile!!! It makes me smile so big myself!
Jayden is a handful and has so much wonderful energy. She keeps me on my toes!!! She's talking so much and so well, it's like I never have time to get a word in. And she loves her baby brother soo much! It's so cute! :) That also makes me smile!
We got her hair cut for the first time ever Sun. night. I was glad to be here for that. She's so dang smart! This afternoon I told her to tell Daddy she wanted pizza for dinner (when he got home that is) and w/o me saying anything when he walked through the door, she walks up to him "Daddy I want pizza!!" :) Soo stinkin smart! She's almost completely potty trained, but we've had a few accidents this week!
Yesterday Frances, Elise, I and the kids went to Fairyland in Oakland and they were both SO good!! I was so proud of both of them! I bet I took 100 pictures!! It was so cute and we had such a good time! It was also good to get time w/Frances! ED COMES HOME SATURDAY MORNING!!! They are so excited! We are going to their house for Christmas Eve.
I'm so excited to see Jayden open her presents! She can't wait, of course! She plays in them all the time and I have to tell her to get out of them. But it's so cute! I simply can't stay mad at her... I can't even get mad at her. Sure, I get tired and frustrated sometimes when one is crying or both are needing my attention at the same time, but it really... it's just ok.
They are soo stinkin wonderful!!! I can't explain how much I love them. I love holdin Keaton and kissin him on his soft, chubby cheeks, especially when he's just woken up from a nap. I love holding Jayden when she's hurt herself or just woke up from her nap. But at the same time, I know they need time w/mama when she gets home. And daddy and it's so cute the way Jayden runs to them both.
No, I don't want kids, even now. But they are still the joys of my life.
We went to Candycane Lane Mon. night and it's so sad how that may be the last time any of us ever see it again. :( And Keaton was too little to appreciate it and he slept. But it somewhat helped me get into a little bit of the Christmas spirit (but don't tell anyone).
Anyway... I guess that's all :) It's been a great 4 days and the next 2 weeks will be wonderful.
We move out of the house and back onto base next week... I bet I cry. I started life in California on base... I guess I'll end this current part of my life on base. How ironic?
My thoughts have been varied, especially since this will be the last time indefinitely that I'll be home in California.
I think back to the day I moved out here 2 years ago. Fog so thick I didn't understand how Earl drove through it w/o killing us. Jayden sooo adorable and just starting to crawl (which, btw, I missed Jayden's first crawl... I was here for Keaton's!!!) :-D Things so different, so new... I was a little scared. I never really imagined I would fall in love with it.
Then, less than a month later, I met Jake. I told everyone I wouldn't come out here & fall for some military guy... WHODA THUNK?!??! Now I look back on our time together and realize... he wasn't a bad guy at all. In fact (and this may just be the nostalgia talking) I kind of miss him. It's weird, I know, but I looked at his myspace tonight and ... :( I think he's back in Iraq. That scares me, what if something happens to him? I know we aren't part of each others' lives anymore, but I wonder if he ever thinks a/b me?
It's comin on Christmas and again this year, I'm single. Now... I'm ok w/this, but it's getting monotanous! 21 Christmases of having no one... 21 New Year's over having no one. Maybe that's why I miss Jake. Maybe being on base and reminising back on the most amazing 6 months of my life makes me miss him. He was, afterall, the first guy I kissed, and he was actually a really sweet guy. He could be pushy at times and he wasn't gorgeous (or even really cute for that matter) but since when are looks everything? I'm learning that more and more.
Ok...well enough of that. California is again, everything I remember! It's not as green yet b/c it really hasn't rained a lot.
Jayden is amazing and Keaton is one of the 2 most gorgeous little boys in the world (he's of course tied w/AJ). It's almost funny how many times I've had to keep myself from calling him AJ. He has the most adorable, toothless smile!!! It makes me smile so big myself!
Jayden is a handful and has so much wonderful energy. She keeps me on my toes!!! She's talking so much and so well, it's like I never have time to get a word in. And she loves her baby brother soo much! It's so cute! :) That also makes me smile!
We got her hair cut for the first time ever Sun. night. I was glad to be here for that. She's so dang smart! This afternoon I told her to tell Daddy she wanted pizza for dinner (when he got home that is) and w/o me saying anything when he walked through the door, she walks up to him "Daddy I want pizza!!" :) Soo stinkin smart! She's almost completely potty trained, but we've had a few accidents this week!
Yesterday Frances, Elise, I and the kids went to Fairyland in Oakland and they were both SO good!! I was so proud of both of them! I bet I took 100 pictures!! It was so cute and we had such a good time! It was also good to get time w/Frances! ED COMES HOME SATURDAY MORNING!!! They are so excited! We are going to their house for Christmas Eve.
I'm so excited to see Jayden open her presents! She can't wait, of course! She plays in them all the time and I have to tell her to get out of them. But it's so cute! I simply can't stay mad at her... I can't even get mad at her. Sure, I get tired and frustrated sometimes when one is crying or both are needing my attention at the same time, but it really... it's just ok.
They are soo stinkin wonderful!!! I can't explain how much I love them. I love holdin Keaton and kissin him on his soft, chubby cheeks, especially when he's just woken up from a nap. I love holding Jayden when she's hurt herself or just woke up from her nap. But at the same time, I know they need time w/mama when she gets home. And daddy and it's so cute the way Jayden runs to them both.
No, I don't want kids, even now. But they are still the joys of my life.
We went to Candycane Lane Mon. night and it's so sad how that may be the last time any of us ever see it again. :( And Keaton was too little to appreciate it and he slept. But it somewhat helped me get into a little bit of the Christmas spirit (but don't tell anyone).
Anyway... I guess that's all :) It's been a great 4 days and the next 2 weeks will be wonderful.
We move out of the house and back onto base next week... I bet I cry. I started life in California on base... I guess I'll end this current part of my life on base. How ironic?