Jun 08, 2005 12:58
it makes me sad that at all other points in time except when i want it to be my mouth is as big as the grand canyon. its quite ironic that i was blessed with the gift of human trust and half the time unless my whole mind is fightin against it, i cant keep things to myself... except of course when i need to get something personal off my chest.
other ppl's business flows off my tongue like the water over the waterfall but when i have something that i really need to tell someone close to me i cant do it. i dont kno if i'm scared of rejection or anger from that person or if its just that my mind thrives on conflict and wants me to suffer. like the words i wanna say flow through my mind but i just dont say them. maybe if i did things would be better. at least then both of us would kno how i feel.
to keep a healthy relationship between any two ppl whether it be a friend or a lover you have to communicate and let the other person kno whats goin on. i have scolded my friends abotu keeping problems and issues to themselves before but now here i am and hte cats got my tongue. that seems so strange becuz there is rarely a moment when i cant find the right words. and its not even that i cant find the words.
its just that my whole being is so stubborn and refuses to let go and let my mouth run off the words that it really needs to say. instead it says pointless meaningless things and spreads other ppls business when it should be sharing my emotions. its just so frustrating. but o well. i'll get it out eventually i'm sure. i always do. hopefully it wont be after the fact.
i love you guys!
lexa