when intelligence is not my forte
Sadomasichism is defined as a satanic habit of physically or emotionally abusing one's self to relieve pain or make up for past hurts. In the movie Secretary Maggie Gyllanhaal plays one such person as she strives for the love of the man she works for. all people bring pain on themselves. i have decided that after i have poured in on myself in every way that i can imagine to be possible. all pain i feel is in my mind. i shoudl have been smart during the whole experience.
i wish that love was easy. i wish that the person that i loved always loved me. i guess that when that finally happened for me i thought i'd never have to worry about it again. but here i am worrying becuz now i'm not so sure. actually i'm pretty positive that my life doesnt hold that asset nemore. i would love to cry right now. but i promised that i wouldnt be upset. i promised that i would be able to get over it and just be friends. but that's not what i want. i want to say that all i want is for kyle to be happy. i wanna suck it up like the ugly one does in the movies. but that's not how i feel. i dont wanna lose my kyle.
i shouldnt even be typing this becuz its just making me more upset. i shoudl have just gone to bed like kyle told me to. "we'll talk abotu it tomoro when you get off work" thats what he said. but i dont wanna talk about it. i just want it all back.
i love you guys,
lexa
i wish that love was easy. i wish that the person that i loved always loved me. i guess that when that finally happened for me i thought i'd never have to worry about it again. but here i am worrying becuz now i'm not so sure. actually i'm pretty positive that my life doesnt hold that asset nemore. i would love to cry right now. but i promised that i wouldnt be upset. i promised that i would be able to get over it and just be friends. but that's not what i want. i want to say that all i want is for kyle to be happy. i wanna suck it up like the ugly one does in the movies. but that's not how i feel. i dont wanna lose my kyle.
i shouldnt even be typing this becuz its just making me more upset. i shoudl have just gone to bed like kyle told me to. "we'll talk abotu it tomoro when you get off work" thats what he said. but i dont wanna talk about it. i just want it all back.
i love you guys,
lexa