i'm in the milk and the milk's in me.
i am hungry. but not for nutrient. more for some way to say that, i am. i see, i love. there is so much around me that my mind won't allow me to take it all in at once. and you. you seem to be exactly right. i can't keep up. and when i make an attempt i throw it out the window. it will never live up to what i feel. being hungry makes you see more. i get lost in a leaf. confusion swells. everything slows down and minutes are months. moth wing beat is a pounding drum. i am drifting, tide pulls me harder with every blink of my eye. all i taste is yesterday. i am scared. mortal. in my silence i don't mean to be a bore. speaking seems irrelevant. colors jab my eyes like diamond shards and it's too much to take. i just wish i could seize this til knuckles white; preserve this like an artifact and wear it 'round my neck. i don't want to be left behind. sometimes when you let thoughts go they aren't linear. almost never. it's a hurricane of wants and want nots. sweeping my feet and dreams into fear. always. all ways. but i am not unhappy. i am not anything. what's different this time is that i am not looking back. no edits. i want to feel real.