Me: He's more stream-lined. The others are more like Durangos--lumpy and round.
Heather: ...did you just compare a fish to a car?
Me: ...there's no reason not to and you can't stop me.

Time with friends = win.

[discussing the likelihood of either my shelves or her new tank tipping over]
Me: It's not like we have people running around jumping into our stuff.
Nicole: ...I miss Tom.

And gave me something to remember--something I'll miss from work ( Read more... )

Leslie: ...I just dotted a capital I ( Read more... )

Me: I've got to go clock out before I'm late; I don't want to get an infraction.
Asst. Manager: You are an infraction.
Me: I'll infraction your face.
Coworker: Do it! Do it!

[Sometimes my job isn't so bad.]

It was about eight inches long and the thickness of my pinky ( Read more... )

Upon being asked "You lived most of your life in the UK, but now live in the United states, right? Which one do you consider to be your home? And for that matter, what do you think classifies as a 'home ( Read more... )

I found this while searching for a quote that I knew I had posted at one point, and realized that ya'll never finished it. And out of insane curiosity, I'm putting it up again ( Read more... )

Al Giordino: Hey, you know how it is when you see someone that you haven't seen since high school, and they got some dead-end job, and they're married to some woman that hates them, they got, like, three kids who think he's a joke? Wasn't there some point where he stood back and said, "Bob, don't take that job! Bob, don't marry that harpy!" You ( Read more... )

Me: Why are there so many buttons on dress pants? It's confusing ( Read more... )