(no subject)
Well since my last entry I have had time to think things over and have realised that there really was nothing to get upset about as it was only a frame of mind and why get upset about something that has never happened in the first place - confusing I know but it makes things a lot easier to understand in my mind.
Yes no doubt there was some sort of attraction when we first met and I know that I was looking for more than just friendship and that was the first problem I went into things with certain expectation I was expecting to find someone for romance and I am really not sure what she was looking for maybe just someone to spend some time with maybe someone else to talk to I really have no idea. Those early days felt good and if I am honest those were the only days that I could say we were a couple with the hugs and kisses. On looking back those happy days did not really last long I think the kissing had stopped for various reasons at the start of September and I should have and think I did realise that things had changed then but being afraid of losing something that I wanted so badly I chose to ignore it and hope that things would sort themselves out but unfortunately in the end I really needed to know what was happening and where I stood I had hoped to find out at Christmas with the card that she bought me, I got one to my “Girlfriend” and before I could give it she suggested that we did not exchange cards as it was a costly exercise. That would have been fine if I had not earlier that day been with her when she had been buying various Christmas and birthday cards for people. I saw that as a way to get out of being put on the spot with a card. I know I was childish to expect an answer to my fears to be delivered on a Christmas card and funnily enough less than a week later we split up as things had come to a head.
I was told by my friends that knew about what had happened that I should take the presents I had bought back to the shops and gotten my money back but I bought them at a happy time in my life and to take them back would feel like I was trying to cut my losses and forget about the last few months. The presents that I could keep for myself the dvd’s I have kept but the other stuff I have decided to give and hopefully we shall be able to remain friends. I only hope that she does not think that I am trying to buy her affection as the things I have got her came to over £100
Yes no doubt there was some sort of attraction when we first met and I know that I was looking for more than just friendship and that was the first problem I went into things with certain expectation I was expecting to find someone for romance and I am really not sure what she was looking for maybe just someone to spend some time with maybe someone else to talk to I really have no idea. Those early days felt good and if I am honest those were the only days that I could say we were a couple with the hugs and kisses. On looking back those happy days did not really last long I think the kissing had stopped for various reasons at the start of September and I should have and think I did realise that things had changed then but being afraid of losing something that I wanted so badly I chose to ignore it and hope that things would sort themselves out but unfortunately in the end I really needed to know what was happening and where I stood I had hoped to find out at Christmas with the card that she bought me, I got one to my “Girlfriend” and before I could give it she suggested that we did not exchange cards as it was a costly exercise. That would have been fine if I had not earlier that day been with her when she had been buying various Christmas and birthday cards for people. I saw that as a way to get out of being put on the spot with a card. I know I was childish to expect an answer to my fears to be delivered on a Christmas card and funnily enough less than a week later we split up as things had come to a head.
I was told by my friends that knew about what had happened that I should take the presents I had bought back to the shops and gotten my money back but I bought them at a happy time in my life and to take them back would feel like I was trying to cut my losses and forget about the last few months. The presents that I could keep for myself the dvd’s I have kept but the other stuff I have decided to give and hopefully we shall be able to remain friends. I only hope that she does not think that I am trying to buy her affection as the things I have got her came to over £100