(no subject)
soo...i went to edit my post about writing my tj's bio, and my dumb lj client deleted it. i'm still not sure how. so i re-posted it as a backdated entry, but now i don't have the comments anymore. i'm not that upset, i just don't like it when technology outsmarts me.
so, anyways... i'm taking art history this semester, and it's kind of interesting, i guess. the only problem comes in that it's from 3:30-4:45 after all my other class stuff is done, and i'm just tired and then we turn out the lights to look at slides of art work. bad combination. usually i can handle it, but yesterday i just kept falling asleep. i don't remember actually going to sleep, i just kept feeling myself wake up abruptly.
then the prof calls on me. we'd apparently been talking about texture of things and she asked me what the texture appeared to be in the current frame. i blinked, trying to focus. it was white and blurry. i guessed, "It looks...smooth." and i was right; it was a statue. but i sounded high.
so after class i'm walking to tj's like always. and this surfer kid from class starts walking faster behind me, until he's next to me. and i figure he's going to pass me, but it doesn't happen. and doesn't happen. and then he just starts talking to me, and i was so surprised. and i kept thinking of things to say, but i kept them inside. and then i thought to myself--this is one of those moments, where you have a chance to change what you don't like about yourself. be brave. and i found myself thinking of my bubbly, outgoing, wonderful wife, and i just thought--be brave like janna.
and then i was. i just talked to him, and he thought i was funny and smart and cool. it was so weird for me. i felt like i had spilled out of myself. i was elated the rest of the day. and it struck me that the thought of someone i admire can sometimes affect me as much as her actual presence. and that me loving someone for being something amazing that i'm not can make me a better person with just a thought. and then the idea that maybe i actually am this funny, smart, cool person sort of crept into my head while i wasn't looking. it was pretty fun to toy around with. heh.
good times.
so, anyways... i'm taking art history this semester, and it's kind of interesting, i guess. the only problem comes in that it's from 3:30-4:45 after all my other class stuff is done, and i'm just tired and then we turn out the lights to look at slides of art work. bad combination. usually i can handle it, but yesterday i just kept falling asleep. i don't remember actually going to sleep, i just kept feeling myself wake up abruptly.
then the prof calls on me. we'd apparently been talking about texture of things and she asked me what the texture appeared to be in the current frame. i blinked, trying to focus. it was white and blurry. i guessed, "It looks...smooth." and i was right; it was a statue. but i sounded high.
so after class i'm walking to tj's like always. and this surfer kid from class starts walking faster behind me, until he's next to me. and i figure he's going to pass me, but it doesn't happen. and doesn't happen. and then he just starts talking to me, and i was so surprised. and i kept thinking of things to say, but i kept them inside. and then i thought to myself--this is one of those moments, where you have a chance to change what you don't like about yourself. be brave. and i found myself thinking of my bubbly, outgoing, wonderful wife, and i just thought--be brave like janna.
and then i was. i just talked to him, and he thought i was funny and smart and cool. it was so weird for me. i felt like i had spilled out of myself. i was elated the rest of the day. and it struck me that the thought of someone i admire can sometimes affect me as much as her actual presence. and that me loving someone for being something amazing that i'm not can make me a better person with just a thought. and then the idea that maybe i actually am this funny, smart, cool person sort of crept into my head while i wasn't looking. it was pretty fun to toy around with. heh.
good times.