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Tonight is the first night in three nights that I have slept at home. It's odd and weird that I haven't come home other then to shower and change clothes. It's Tuesday night, fucking tuesday night. Blah. Not like anything that has happened since sat. has been talked about. I want to talk about what has been going on but I don't know how to. I wish I did but I can't. How am I supposed to start a conversation about making out and sleeping together, if that's all it is? Is it all it is? I am so fucking confused. Its like all I ever do when I am alone right now is wonder if anything is going to happen or if this is it.......something that will just happen and stop at some point just the way it started. I wish I was in his head more often then he is in mine. I feel like he knows what I am thinking, when I am thinking it and I just can't read his mind on this subject.
Last night we were laying there and I had my face almost covered by the pillow and he gently pushed the hair out of my face. It was so simple but soooo sweet. It's the stupid things that make me not want to leave him. The stupid I am 12 shit. Stuff that made me fall for my first boyfriend.
I wish I knew what the hell is going on. One night we didn't kiss, the other two we did, should this make a difference?
Should it make a difference that I could have hooked up with an old hook up and I didn't cuz I felt bad. Not that the other guy had a girlfriend completly but because of this whole situation.
I could lay in bed with him all day but I know I can't......
Maybe I just can't do this........
Well now I am home and have know more of an idea of whats been going on since january then I did when this started........
Home...
Last night we were laying there and I had my face almost covered by the pillow and he gently pushed the hair out of my face. It was so simple but soooo sweet. It's the stupid things that make me not want to leave him. The stupid I am 12 shit. Stuff that made me fall for my first boyfriend.
I wish I knew what the hell is going on. One night we didn't kiss, the other two we did, should this make a difference?
Should it make a difference that I could have hooked up with an old hook up and I didn't cuz I felt bad. Not that the other guy had a girlfriend completly but because of this whole situation.
I could lay in bed with him all day but I know I can't......
Maybe I just can't do this........
Well now I am home and have know more of an idea of whats been going on since january then I did when this started........
Home...