my mail.
Look what i typed to BTG?
Stop asking me god damnit! i only told you guys cuz i wanted to say i did have my educational life under control. fuck the college i choose thats my buisness! and you of all people should have known i changed! so im still not perfect who the fuck is! why are you ALWAYS against me. why do you never see what i do thats acually good? o jus see the depressional bad side of me! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT MAYBE THATS WHY I CANT FULLY CHANGE INTO A NORML PERSON?! the fact that NO ONE ever lets me FORGET who i was before?! THAT FUCKIING ANGERY PErSON?! so im mad NOW! who cares? everyone has my limit and you really ticked me off as well as hurt me! you talked to me more than jess has in the last 2 months! you of all people should have known i was trying. i was trying to be a better person to change to stop hurting people expecially her. but no your still the fucking same. still trying to shove me away. i say this AGAIN. and it doesnt matter if you dont know me in person I NEVER TRUELY LIED BOUT WHO I AM WaS NOTHING! atleast im not like fuckin other guys who jus want a girl for what they can offer! if i do get this scholarship and i do get to go to college. ima make one of my careers exactly bout people like you. EXACTLY. cuz im tired of being put down for who i was and not even SEEN for who i am trying to be if im trying to be better nothing!. ima make the story totally bout this. then see bout doing other things like funding money for people who do that to do something with them. but noo this is jus a fantasy! it could never be done! even though how i WISH people like YOU would open up and stop fuckin seeing the bad! you never give me a chance. personally i believe your jealous. but i cant exactly say that either but then again i can cuz you have more control over everything. you can say anything and even if i didnt say or do it the people who know me down there would believe you. so who really knows? you know i was a better person and you sdtill told jess to get rid of me. So i still have mood swings. atleast they arent as much as i used to have em or as bad. why dont you guys try seeing what i try to do instead of seeing what i have done. Stop talking to me. you hate me so much stop fucking talking to me! im tired of being hated and im tired of fighting a battle i cant win and im trying to prove to you that im trying. im tired of being put down for everything that i have done and msot of all IM TIRED OF JESSICA SEEING ME AS AN ASSHOLE! a controlsive lyeing angry asshole. thats not what i am...and i know it for a fact. i have problems yeah so? everyone does im trying to cope with them in a better manor. and quite frankly i think im doing a good job. and you yourself said it then one sday you made another excuse to be mad at me and it wasnt even true. i dont know your deal i dont want to. im jus tired of this. you people say ive hurt you i seem like im trying to scare or control you...truthfully..whos hurting who here? atleast whos trying to? ask that question to yourselves. BYE!
That was my E-mail to her..im really mad at her cuz im now starting to try to trust my instincts cuz so far not trusting them got me into a world i didnt wanna be in..and for a long time i felt she was pretty jealous. doesnt matter to me too much now but its still really ticking me off cuz everyone keeps getting in my way..no one ever listens to the "criminal" Ive been trying to change why cant anyone every give me the chance in day to prove it? expecially those who have talked to me the most.
Stop asking me god damnit! i only told you guys cuz i wanted to say i did have my educational life under control. fuck the college i choose thats my buisness! and you of all people should have known i changed! so im still not perfect who the fuck is! why are you ALWAYS against me. why do you never see what i do thats acually good? o jus see the depressional bad side of me! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT MAYBE THATS WHY I CANT FULLY CHANGE INTO A NORML PERSON?! the fact that NO ONE ever lets me FORGET who i was before?! THAT FUCKIING ANGERY PErSON?! so im mad NOW! who cares? everyone has my limit and you really ticked me off as well as hurt me! you talked to me more than jess has in the last 2 months! you of all people should have known i was trying. i was trying to be a better person to change to stop hurting people expecially her. but no your still the fucking same. still trying to shove me away. i say this AGAIN. and it doesnt matter if you dont know me in person I NEVER TRUELY LIED BOUT WHO I AM WaS NOTHING! atleast im not like fuckin other guys who jus want a girl for what they can offer! if i do get this scholarship and i do get to go to college. ima make one of my careers exactly bout people like you. EXACTLY. cuz im tired of being put down for who i was and not even SEEN for who i am trying to be if im trying to be better nothing!. ima make the story totally bout this. then see bout doing other things like funding money for people who do that to do something with them. but noo this is jus a fantasy! it could never be done! even though how i WISH people like YOU would open up and stop fuckin seeing the bad! you never give me a chance. personally i believe your jealous. but i cant exactly say that either but then again i can cuz you have more control over everything. you can say anything and even if i didnt say or do it the people who know me down there would believe you. so who really knows? you know i was a better person and you sdtill told jess to get rid of me. So i still have mood swings. atleast they arent as much as i used to have em or as bad. why dont you guys try seeing what i try to do instead of seeing what i have done. Stop talking to me. you hate me so much stop fucking talking to me! im tired of being hated and im tired of fighting a battle i cant win and im trying to prove to you that im trying. im tired of being put down for everything that i have done and msot of all IM TIRED OF JESSICA SEEING ME AS AN ASSHOLE! a controlsive lyeing angry asshole. thats not what i am...and i know it for a fact. i have problems yeah so? everyone does im trying to cope with them in a better manor. and quite frankly i think im doing a good job. and you yourself said it then one sday you made another excuse to be mad at me and it wasnt even true. i dont know your deal i dont want to. im jus tired of this. you people say ive hurt you i seem like im trying to scare or control you...truthfully..whos hurting who here? atleast whos trying to? ask that question to yourselves. BYE!
That was my E-mail to her..im really mad at her cuz im now starting to try to trust my instincts cuz so far not trusting them got me into a world i didnt wanna be in..and for a long time i felt she was pretty jealous. doesnt matter to me too much now but its still really ticking me off cuz everyone keeps getting in my way..no one ever listens to the "criminal" Ive been trying to change why cant anyone every give me the chance in day to prove it? expecially those who have talked to me the most.