(no subject)
i dont unerstand. i really dont. how can men and women be so closely realated, but not be able to tell anything about the other. i really thought we would be good together. we even agreed not long ago that your lover should be your best friend. we were already friends, and i thought we were physically attracted to eachother, but he was just drunk and horny. i've been put in that situation before, but i really thought it was different this time. that he wasnt like every other guy, but i was wrong. i've had these feelings for so long, and i though this was a good time to share because i thought for once someone maybe could care for me. i was wrong again. why am i always wrong. why cant there be a guy out there for me that will care for me as much as i care for them. what made me think he was different. is it because we were friends? thats probably why its hurting so much. maybe if he had at least given me an "i'm sorry, but i dont feel the same" it would be different. it would still hurt, but not as bad. now i just feel like i dont even have him as a friend anymore, and thats not what i want. i would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all. i would love to have him in the other sense, but i would settle to have him as a friend. im just worried that im not going to be able to do that anymore. i'm hurt. and i never though he would hurt me. i know he didnt mean to, but he did all the same. i just dont know. i'm finished