(no subject)
My aunt Hanna told me that my Oma dreamed about Opa a few days before she died. She said that he came to her in her dream, and wouldn't tell her why he was there. I think he'd come to get her. He hasn't seen her for almost 10 years, he must've missed her. I'm so glad they're together. I just wish they were both still here. I miss then so much I can't even begin to explain it. I just want to crawl into a hole and die, just so I can be with them again. I have no more grandparents.
I feel so guilty. I should've gone to see her more. I should've told her I loved her more. Everyone keeps telling me she loved me so much, but did she ever know how much I loved her???? I love her so much and I can't bear to think about how I'll never see her again. It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm crying so hard I can't even see what I'm typing. I just want my Oma back. I want her to come and hug me and tell me everything is okay and that it was all just a big trick.
Funerals tomorrow. I don't know if I can handle it. I'm going to fall apart into little tiny pieces.
I wish I were dead.
I feel so guilty. I should've gone to see her more. I should've told her I loved her more. Everyone keeps telling me she loved me so much, but did she ever know how much I loved her???? I love her so much and I can't bear to think about how I'll never see her again. It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm crying so hard I can't even see what I'm typing. I just want my Oma back. I want her to come and hug me and tell me everything is okay and that it was all just a big trick.
Funerals tomorrow. I don't know if I can handle it. I'm going to fall apart into little tiny pieces.
I wish I were dead.