I just need a vacation. I need someone to take Boo Boo off of my hands for me for seven days. Just seven consecutive days, where she's not trying to crawl up my asshole. This cat is really infringing on the freedoms I've grown accustomed to by not being born a siamese twin. I don't know what her deal is, but bitch needs to get weened.


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I'm sleeping with my neighbor. A lot. It started out because there was nothing good on tv, and also because I started drinking again. Now I'm over at his house at least four nights a week. What's super-gross is that, even though I'm not attracted to him, nor am I really impressed with his personality or sense of humor, I'm kind of getting ( Read more... )

Sent at 3:33 PM on Friday
Laura: Chuy and I were very productive today, so we made this collage.

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"...and then Boo Boo ate the instructions to the automatic pet food dispenser ( Read more... )

Week 2, Day 2 of the Couch to 5K program ( Read more... )

Chuy has a cold ( Read more... )

Clap clap clap ( Read more... )

We took the screen off of the kitchen window ( Read more... )

I didn't rewrite A Visit From St. Nick. I was terribly distracted.  Instead, I present a short recap of last night's cat-related trauma.

Boo Boo, the Naughtiest Christmas Elf

My mom, who I believe has conceded to the likelihood that she will never get grandchildren (or at least I assume she has conceded to this fact based on the fleece pajamas she ( Read more... )

Amy has decided that I need to move to Bend, OR, where I will meet, fall in love with, marry, and make babies with a gentleman named Lance Lyons. She says we're perfect for each other. Lance has a really big fish tank. I don't understand ( Read more... )