Today - Counselling session
Saw my counsellor today for a "reflective session". This is where I talk to her for a while in front of the other counsellors (eight in total). Then the counsellors talk about what they perceive and understood about our talk. Then we have a brief chat. The whole thing was video recorded and I will get a copy to keep of the video.
Sounds a bit odd but I found it to be of great assistance. I talked about my current issue with the research question, about being trans, being pagan, and how my masters was really a vehicle for my work practice - the two graphic novels - and what they really meant. I surprised myself, because real passion came out of this. And the feedback about things was really helpful. One of the things that came through is that my project is A BIG THING FOR me, whereas the research question and the research (which i won't do unless I believe in the question) is a smaller thing, trying to fit a bigger concept in a small box. And this has helped a lot.
There was much more as well, but I know now that I do need a leave of absence. Not to "run away" from the problem, but to "reconnect" with something very important in me, that's been driving my masters in the first place. I'll start sorting that out tomorrow.
I'm also going to Queer Collaborations this year. QC helps me connect to a community that I am a part of, and connection to community is important to me. Feeling isolated here in Barnsley, and lacking the means to maintaining a real social life (as opposed to a virtual one) has contributed a lot to my stress and confusion.