I Can Has Beautiful Literature?
Why yes, yes I can. As well as plants. Plants everywhere! I am so nervous for Spring Break; on the one hand, my babies! I want them to be watered in the manner they are accustomed to! On the other hand, goddamn trains, I trust them not at all. I continue to be torn on what to do about this dilemma; suggestions?
I did say I'd give book reviews, though, so before the leafy love-fest continues, I'll just get those out of the way.
The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan
Fanfiction led me to this author, and now she is published and witty all of the time, on my bookshelf. I had to hunt this book down, but it was worth all the little temper-tantrums of pure frustration.
KARA: Hello! Do you have this book?
BOOKSTORE: No! But you could try all the other bookstores in town.
BOOK: -is nowhere to be found-
KARA: -weeps-
BOOK: I am at Powell's, I am the last of my kind, scoop me up and carry me away!
KARA: book book book book.
For a much better summary, and little snippets of the book itself, go to sarahtales and check that shit out. Also, read every page of her journal for a good time.
The King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner
I will admit, this is getting a bit ahead of myself, since The King of Attolia is the third and final book in a series, but it is my favorite of the three by far, and makes reading the others a serious priority. But you must read them in order! It is crucial! Otherwise, the Greatest Love Story of All Time will make no sense to you at all! And that would be tragic. So, enjoy the first, struggle through the second (the least delightful of the three), and cackle madly over the third, which probably won't leave your hands until it is finally finished.
A Blunt Instrument and Death in the Stocks by Georgette Heyer
I love Georgette Heyer. She is the only romance novelist I will touch with a ten foot pole, and I am always so glad when I do. But the real gems (in my opinion), are her mystery novels.
Now, I don't really read mystery novels. I don't really get into the whole 'trying to figure out whodunnit' game; I prefer to sit back and enjoy the characters. And Georgette Heyer lets me do that! Not only are the mysteries tricksy and full of lovely little twists, but the characters are always a delight. Particularly Neville Fletcher in A Blunt Instrument, who wins the award for most Ridiculous Young Man of the Year. He is my favorite.
POLICE: Your uncle has been murdered.
NEVILLE: Dear me, really?
POLICE: YES. Also, we suspect you. Suspect you like CRAZY.
NEVILLE: How interesting! Excuse me while I run off to tell silly stories to reporters.
POLICE: Wut.
Oh Neville, my baby. There is also Miss Sally Drew, a young lady who write crime novels. And wears a monocle. Yes.
NEVILLE: The thing I was supposed to obtain for your sister? Totally locked in the safe. Looks like she will become a suspect!
SALLY: Oh hell no. Okay. Okay, I think I have a plan.
NEVILLE: Oh God no.
SALLY: Shut up Neville, you useless brat. Okay, I have a recipe. For explosives, you see!
NEVILLIE: . . .
SALLY: I feel that nothing can go wrong with this.
NEVILLE: Oh look, policemen.
Death in the Stocks is my second favorite, and though it is not a romance about accountants, Maximilian Alexander Thayer, it is still excellent. Mostly because, once again, the characters it contains are so utterly delightful. Such as young Antonia Vereker, half-sister of the murder victim, and my very favorite Saucy Red-Headed Young Lady in all of literature, who goes by Tony. She breeds bull-terriers, and does not really have social boundaries.
POLICE: We have arrived, unexpectedly, at the supposedly empty home of the murder victim! Still, we are Proper Gentlemen, and as such, we will knock.
DOGS: noise noise noise
TONY: -is dressed in a man's dressing gown- WHAT.
POLICE: Oh. Um. Hello, Miss.
TONY: Oh. Police. No, I didn't break in. Yes, this is a man's dressing gown. I am borrowing it, you see. Until my skirt is dry.
POLICE: Ah. We see that your skirt is badly stained.
TONY: Oh, well, blood tends to do that.
POLICE: . . . we feel that this is the appropriate moment to mention that the man who owns this house is dead.
Her brother, Kenneth, is also a treat. He is my second favorite, right behind Neville. He is an artist! And, like his sister, is not really all that choked up about his half-brother being murdered.
TONY: Hello, Kenneth. Did you know that our half-brother was murdered last night?
KENNETH: Really? Excellent!
HOUSEKEEPER: MASTER KENNETH THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE.
KENNETH: Well it is.
TONY: Yes. Shall we go over every suspect, including ourselves, and discuss how likely it is that they did it?
KENNETH: YES.
HOUSEKEEPER: -is scandalized-
So, yes! Go forth and read! Also, advice on the plant situation would be excellent.
I did say I'd give book reviews, though, so before the leafy love-fest continues, I'll just get those out of the way.
The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan
Fanfiction led me to this author, and now she is published and witty all of the time, on my bookshelf. I had to hunt this book down, but it was worth all the little temper-tantrums of pure frustration.
KARA: Hello! Do you have this book?
BOOKSTORE: No! But you could try all the other bookstores in town.
BOOK: -is nowhere to be found-
KARA: -weeps-
BOOK: I am at Powell's, I am the last of my kind, scoop me up and carry me away!
KARA: book book book book.
For a much better summary, and little snippets of the book itself, go to sarahtales and check that shit out. Also, read every page of her journal for a good time.
The King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner
I will admit, this is getting a bit ahead of myself, since The King of Attolia is the third and final book in a series, but it is my favorite of the three by far, and makes reading the others a serious priority. But you must read them in order! It is crucial! Otherwise, the Greatest Love Story of All Time will make no sense to you at all! And that would be tragic. So, enjoy the first, struggle through the second (the least delightful of the three), and cackle madly over the third, which probably won't leave your hands until it is finally finished.
A Blunt Instrument and Death in the Stocks by Georgette Heyer
I love Georgette Heyer. She is the only romance novelist I will touch with a ten foot pole, and I am always so glad when I do. But the real gems (in my opinion), are her mystery novels.
Now, I don't really read mystery novels. I don't really get into the whole 'trying to figure out whodunnit' game; I prefer to sit back and enjoy the characters. And Georgette Heyer lets me do that! Not only are the mysteries tricksy and full of lovely little twists, but the characters are always a delight. Particularly Neville Fletcher in A Blunt Instrument, who wins the award for most Ridiculous Young Man of the Year. He is my favorite.
POLICE: Your uncle has been murdered.
NEVILLE: Dear me, really?
POLICE: YES. Also, we suspect you. Suspect you like CRAZY.
NEVILLE: How interesting! Excuse me while I run off to tell silly stories to reporters.
POLICE: Wut.
Oh Neville, my baby. There is also Miss Sally Drew, a young lady who write crime novels. And wears a monocle. Yes.
NEVILLE: The thing I was supposed to obtain for your sister? Totally locked in the safe. Looks like she will become a suspect!
SALLY: Oh hell no. Okay. Okay, I think I have a plan.
NEVILLE: Oh God no.
SALLY: Shut up Neville, you useless brat. Okay, I have a recipe. For explosives, you see!
NEVILLIE: . . .
SALLY: I feel that nothing can go wrong with this.
NEVILLE: Oh look, policemen.
Death in the Stocks is my second favorite, and though it is not a romance about accountants, Maximilian Alexander Thayer, it is still excellent. Mostly because, once again, the characters it contains are so utterly delightful. Such as young Antonia Vereker, half-sister of the murder victim, and my very favorite Saucy Red-Headed Young Lady in all of literature, who goes by Tony. She breeds bull-terriers, and does not really have social boundaries.
POLICE: We have arrived, unexpectedly, at the supposedly empty home of the murder victim! Still, we are Proper Gentlemen, and as such, we will knock.
DOGS: noise noise noise
TONY: -is dressed in a man's dressing gown- WHAT.
POLICE: Oh. Um. Hello, Miss.
TONY: Oh. Police. No, I didn't break in. Yes, this is a man's dressing gown. I am borrowing it, you see. Until my skirt is dry.
POLICE: Ah. We see that your skirt is badly stained.
TONY: Oh, well, blood tends to do that.
POLICE: . . . we feel that this is the appropriate moment to mention that the man who owns this house is dead.
Her brother, Kenneth, is also a treat. He is my second favorite, right behind Neville. He is an artist! And, like his sister, is not really all that choked up about his half-brother being murdered.
TONY: Hello, Kenneth. Did you know that our half-brother was murdered last night?
KENNETH: Really? Excellent!
HOUSEKEEPER: MASTER KENNETH THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE.
KENNETH: Well it is.
TONY: Yes. Shall we go over every suspect, including ourselves, and discuss how likely it is that they did it?
KENNETH: YES.
HOUSEKEEPER: -is scandalized-
So, yes! Go forth and read! Also, advice on the plant situation would be excellent.