At the point of no return
I am at the point of no return. I have spent years running away from my own emotions, suppressing them with distraction, with food, with work. For years I was in a downward spiral and did not even know. I struggled a very long time until I finally decided to find help - first in Hilversum, then in Leidschendam and finally at GGZ Leiden. Having had three years of therapy against my violent moodswings (borderline personality disorder), the cause for my former eating disorder, I am now ready to move on.
After a long battle of persistance, last Friday I finally got the green light for my gastric bypass operation. A battle which even on that day continued somewhat, for it was not easy to get to Sint Antonius hospital in Nieuwegein. Due to a thunderstorm last Thursday the cablecar to Nieuwegein was out of service. Furthermore, the escalator at Utrecht station to the cablecar was out of order and I had to walk from the Nieuwegein city centre to Sint Antonius twice (There and back again indeed :)). In addition to that I had to carry six kilo's of liquid diet food from Sint Antonius to the Nieuwegein city centre and from there in and out buses and trains until I got home.
People were staring at me as usual, but this time i did not care. I felt like some strong heroine in a hostile world who'd just achieved a major victory. There I was, carrying two bags knotted together on my right shoulder and another bag in my left hand, blistons on my feet, thirsty, the wind playing with my cloak and hair, the sun shining in my face. I was so very tired. But boy did I feel good!
Here I am now, on my second day with only liquid diet food and water and 5.5 more weeks to go. It won't be easy. I already miss chewing things and I hate the smell of food. And then there's Drachenfest coming up. I had already been lookiing forward to the in character meals. Now I will have to watch, with only the liquid stuff for food. But ... I will probably have shed a few kilo's by that time and will have fun anyhow.
This is it. Watch out, world, for I am back!
After a long battle of persistance, last Friday I finally got the green light for my gastric bypass operation. A battle which even on that day continued somewhat, for it was not easy to get to Sint Antonius hospital in Nieuwegein. Due to a thunderstorm last Thursday the cablecar to Nieuwegein was out of service. Furthermore, the escalator at Utrecht station to the cablecar was out of order and I had to walk from the Nieuwegein city centre to Sint Antonius twice (There and back again indeed :)). In addition to that I had to carry six kilo's of liquid diet food from Sint Antonius to the Nieuwegein city centre and from there in and out buses and trains until I got home.
People were staring at me as usual, but this time i did not care. I felt like some strong heroine in a hostile world who'd just achieved a major victory. There I was, carrying two bags knotted together on my right shoulder and another bag in my left hand, blistons on my feet, thirsty, the wind playing with my cloak and hair, the sun shining in my face. I was so very tired. But boy did I feel good!
Here I am now, on my second day with only liquid diet food and water and 5.5 more weeks to go. It won't be easy. I already miss chewing things and I hate the smell of food. And then there's Drachenfest coming up. I had already been lookiing forward to the in character meals. Now I will have to watch, with only the liquid stuff for food. But ... I will probably have shed a few kilo's by that time and will have fun anyhow.
This is it. Watch out, world, for I am back!