Strange Days
Don't know what to make of today. Work was good, a more gentle pace now that the rush has passed, and got some random unsolicited praise from the big boss. Nice.
I get home and Kathy calls upset over missing some social engagement and makes noises like we should get back together. I didn't take the bait, and I know that hurt her. Once again, "What would be different?"
Afterwards I'm torn. For years I was her support. The idea of her sufferring alone was killing me. She's not my responsability anymore, yet I can't help but care. Yet, any involvement from me would only make things worse. I called her Mom and asked that she call her.
Still later, I called my friend Jen in Montreal, we hadn't talked in ages but we took up like it was yesterday. We blinked and two hours had gone by. (That's three calls to Canada this month, my phone bill will suck, but totally worth it.)
Finally, K. calls again to tell me she needs to withdraw from me emotionally, that It's too hard for her. She's hurt that after so long together I didn't want to fight to get her back. The fact that she still can't see how I hard struggled to keep our marriage from falling apart for three years reminds me why splitting up was the right thing to do.
I get home and Kathy calls upset over missing some social engagement and makes noises like we should get back together. I didn't take the bait, and I know that hurt her. Once again, "What would be different?"
Afterwards I'm torn. For years I was her support. The idea of her sufferring alone was killing me. She's not my responsability anymore, yet I can't help but care. Yet, any involvement from me would only make things worse. I called her Mom and asked that she call her.
Still later, I called my friend Jen in Montreal, we hadn't talked in ages but we took up like it was yesterday. We blinked and two hours had gone by. (That's three calls to Canada this month, my phone bill will suck, but totally worth it.)
Finally, K. calls again to tell me she needs to withdraw from me emotionally, that It's too hard for her. She's hurt that after so long together I didn't want to fight to get her back. The fact that she still can't see how I hard struggled to keep our marriage from falling apart for three years reminds me why splitting up was the right thing to do.