A Brush of Confusion: Intro
Oh ho Holy shit! I found my journal that I was wrote when I was schizo, around 18ish. I totally fucked up from my parents splitting up as I was graduating High School and abandoned (somewhat) by my mother for nearly 3months. I always tried to look at the positive side of things. Seems like my mind tries to rationalize things in a positive light during times when my heart wrenches and feels torn apart. Anyways, I finally found it and will transfer what I can from time to time. While I'm not that crazy frightened schizo kid anymore, I was him and the person I am can be seen in the person I was. So, it's good to reflect and remember those trying times...
"I would be giving myself too much credit to say I was a writer. I'm more like a literary speaker, or I write as if I was talking to someone. It doesn't really bother me when I'm writing personal things, because I'm not required to be crystal clear. My communication in writing is usually misleading and misunderstood by others, because they interpret the words like they were the ones writing it. But, they didn't and they know they didn't and to truly understand the meanings written they'd have to "get inside the writer's head". Well, that's all fine in theory, but they'd have to spend countless hours redefining their perceptions and understandings until they reached a state of " I know exactly how you feel (or, at least I think I do)".
"I would be giving myself too much credit to say I was a writer. I'm more like a literary speaker, or I write as if I was talking to someone. It doesn't really bother me when I'm writing personal things, because I'm not required to be crystal clear. My communication in writing is usually misleading and misunderstood by others, because they interpret the words like they were the ones writing it. But, they didn't and they know they didn't and to truly understand the meanings written they'd have to "get inside the writer's head". Well, that's all fine in theory, but they'd have to spend countless hours redefining their perceptions and understandings until they reached a state of " I know exactly how you feel (or, at least I think I do)".