Even When I'm Sleeping
Last night my dream tried to convince me that I'd married someone else. I even had memories of a wedding, days together, but I argued with Dream until my chosen reality reasserted myself - No, I said. I married Tom GodKing.
I LIKE being married to Tom. I like making all the married-people decisions, even the hard ones, with him. I like all the days together that seem very much the same, as much as the vacation days and moments outside of the routine. I liked our wedding, me with a green shiny dress and flowers in my hair, and him being good-natured about it. Tom Godking is my partner, my husband, and that's really all there is to it. In the end, Dream had to relent - it is so. And here is my life. Here is our home. Here are our children.
I'm very amused by this dream, coming on the morning of Valentine's Day. It's very romantic, innit? Especially since he is not here - he's at work, out in that slushy world, and I'm here, pregnant and in pajamas, trying to teach a seven-year-old how VHS tapes work (They don't start automatically every time, see. You have to rewind them. How can you be from a world where children don't know this? Oh right. I'm old.)
In the early years - oh, so long ago - It used to amaze me that even in my dreams I loved Tom Godking. I was forever finding him, fighting him (or for him), and recommitting myself to him. It was how I knew I'd made the right choice - it was even the thing that pulled me through the days when it looked like we might not end up together.
Because it wasn't a given. As much as married life might seem to make one person out of us, we are very different. Polar opposites, in many cases, making even the simplest issues matters of intense debate, in different languages. It is not easy. Sometimes it is frustrating as hell. But it is worth it.
That's why this song has always made me smile. We have a continent that sometimes comes between us... that's ok. I love you even when I'm sleeping.
I promise I'm not just writing this to make up for eating the last piece of cheesecake for breakfast.
I LIKE being married to Tom. I like making all the married-people decisions, even the hard ones, with him. I like all the days together that seem very much the same, as much as the vacation days and moments outside of the routine. I liked our wedding, me with a green shiny dress and flowers in my hair, and him being good-natured about it. Tom Godking is my partner, my husband, and that's really all there is to it. In the end, Dream had to relent - it is so. And here is my life. Here is our home. Here are our children.
I'm very amused by this dream, coming on the morning of Valentine's Day. It's very romantic, innit? Especially since he is not here - he's at work, out in that slushy world, and I'm here, pregnant and in pajamas, trying to teach a seven-year-old how VHS tapes work (They don't start automatically every time, see. You have to rewind them. How can you be from a world where children don't know this? Oh right. I'm old.)
In the early years - oh, so long ago - It used to amaze me that even in my dreams I loved Tom Godking. I was forever finding him, fighting him (or for him), and recommitting myself to him. It was how I knew I'd made the right choice - it was even the thing that pulled me through the days when it looked like we might not end up together.
Because it wasn't a given. As much as married life might seem to make one person out of us, we are very different. Polar opposites, in many cases, making even the simplest issues matters of intense debate, in different languages. It is not easy. Sometimes it is frustrating as hell. But it is worth it.
Click to viewThat's why this song has always made me smile. We have a continent that sometimes comes between us... that's ok. I love you even when I'm sleeping.
I promise I'm not just writing this to make up for eating the last piece of cheesecake for breakfast.