Ave Maria, Gratia Plena
O Lord, have mercy on me.
It's been a long couple of weeks. I won't deny that it's been hard on me to be back home and to deal with the -- I don't know what you'd call my relationship with my father, but I've been able to renew my sort of "bestie" relationship with my Mom. We exercise together, we talk shop -- although I really miss the company of people my own age. Not that the people on the internets aren't lovely, because you all are. It's just that most of you are quite a bit older than 21, which is very awesome most of the time, but you also have children and husbands and have to go to bed at decent hours and aren't around when I want to drink frozen strawberry margaritas until I'm pleasantly buzzed at 2 in the morning.
That's a random aside, when what I really want to do is tell you all about my grandmother. She's everything a grandma should be -- soft and warm and supportive and very loving. We almost lost her when I was about 16 to a massive heart attack.
Now she's in the hospital. They think just overnight. She was barely over 100 lbs to start with, but with an ear infection that caused such severe nausea that she couldn't keep anything down, well -- she dropped five pounds in less than two days.
I ask if you have a religion or if you believe in the power of positive thought, that you would keep grandma in your hearts and minds. maybe add her to tonight's list of beneficiaries.
**
I am also feeling majorly fail at this writing thing. Leaven of Malice sits mostly done, with an ending I've written four times that no one is satisified with. I keep hoping to sell this novel yet I won't get off my ass and do something about it because every time I contemplate another edit of this beast, I cry. It's time to put on the Big Girl Panties and just do it.
The (Rather Unfortunate) Disadvantages of Gingerbread Construction is done. I could post it tonight and let you all take a look but -- on the heels of three very different beta opinions, I'm just not sure what to do with it, Perhaps I'll send it off to LilyFiore with an apology for being so fail. I mean, it's edited, but -- okay. I just don't know.
The Silver Dollar Paradigm is at the apex, which is when I have a hard time not going, "And then the Doctor saved her and there was sexing and rejoicing throughout the land! Ta da the end!" The ending I have in my mind is encroaching on Family of Blood/Human Nature territory -- but I think it's justifiable, you know? He's going to be upset about more than just Rose. What the villains have been doing is so heinous it would infuriate him normally. I just don't know why some part of me balks at actually going where I think he needs to go. I think it's the part of me that's been reading the meme. "OTPers are fail and can't write out of their asses!" Well -- screw you, meme that doesn't give a shit about my fic, I'm going to write it tthe way I want to so that you can mock me on cotcritiques .
Sorry to spend this entry whining and moaning. It's not really fair to my new flisters. *waves at
jenny_gwen andpieceapersimmon * Welcome to my inner authorial angst! I swear, it's only like this most of the time sometimes!
It's been a long couple of weeks. I won't deny that it's been hard on me to be back home and to deal with the -- I don't know what you'd call my relationship with my father, but I've been able to renew my sort of "bestie" relationship with my Mom. We exercise together, we talk shop -- although I really miss the company of people my own age. Not that the people on the internets aren't lovely, because you all are. It's just that most of you are quite a bit older than 21, which is very awesome most of the time, but you also have children and husbands and have to go to bed at decent hours and aren't around when I want to drink frozen strawberry margaritas until I'm pleasantly buzzed at 2 in the morning.
That's a random aside, when what I really want to do is tell you all about my grandmother. She's everything a grandma should be -- soft and warm and supportive and very loving. We almost lost her when I was about 16 to a massive heart attack.
Now she's in the hospital. They think just overnight. She was barely over 100 lbs to start with, but with an ear infection that caused such severe nausea that she couldn't keep anything down, well -- she dropped five pounds in less than two days.
I ask if you have a religion or if you believe in the power of positive thought, that you would keep grandma in your hearts and minds. maybe add her to tonight's list of beneficiaries.
**
I am also feeling majorly fail at this writing thing. Leaven of Malice sits mostly done, with an ending I've written four times that no one is satisified with. I keep hoping to sell this novel yet I won't get off my ass and do something about it because every time I contemplate another edit of this beast, I cry. It's time to put on the Big Girl Panties and just do it.
The (Rather Unfortunate) Disadvantages of Gingerbread Construction is done. I could post it tonight and let you all take a look but -- on the heels of three very different beta opinions, I'm just not sure what to do with it, Perhaps I'll send it off to LilyFiore with an apology for being so fail. I mean, it's edited, but -- okay. I just don't know.
The Silver Dollar Paradigm is at the apex, which is when I have a hard time not going, "And then the Doctor saved her and there was sexing and rejoicing throughout the land! Ta da the end!" The ending I have in my mind is encroaching on Family of Blood/Human Nature territory -- but I think it's justifiable, you know? He's going to be upset about more than just Rose. What the villains have been doing is so heinous it would infuriate him normally. I just don't know why some part of me balks at actually going where I think he needs to go. I think it's the part of me that's been reading the meme. "OTPers are fail and can't write out of their asses!" Well -- screw you, meme that doesn't give a shit about my fic, I'm going to write it tthe way I want to so that you can mock me on cotcritiques .
Sorry to spend this entry whining and moaning. It's not really fair to my new flisters. *waves at
jenny_gwen andpieceapersimmon * Welcome to my inner authorial angst! I swear, it's only like this most of the time sometimes!