The Ballad of Bella's Sacrifice
Just a bit of Twilight mockery, you know?
Yeah, this one I wrote when chapter 24 of Eclipse got sporked over at das_sporking. In which much fuss is made over... Bella thinking melodramatically about poking herself with a sharp rock to distract hostile vampires. She doesn't even do it, guys. She doesn't do anything - not that that's a change from her usual, really.
So here goes - a bit of not quite PG language follows:
The Ballad of Bella's Sacrifice
Once there was a vampire
Victoria by name
Cullens ate her hubby
And wasn't that a shame?
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
She swore she'd get revenge
Upon the human cause
A girl known as Bella
The Princess of All Bores
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Made a newborn army
Though nobody much cared
Until they got moving
And made the Cullens scared
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Vicky, she went hunting
For Isabella Swan
Beyond fourth walls she knew
Some folk would cheer her on
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Bella watched the fighting
And grabbed herself a rock
-Material akin
To Edward's marble cock
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Slow of thought, slow to move
Bella stood, rock in hand
Her gesture did fuck-all
Now tell me, ain't that grand?
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
The battle was boring
And over soon enough
Thus the tepid 'story'
Moved on to other stuff:
All the angst of Edward
And wedding bells ahead
For the pair so boring
You'd swear they were both dead.
(Bella, it won't be so nice
Your hubby's cock is sparkly ice!)
***
So yeah. XD That's it.
Yeah, this one I wrote when chapter 24 of Eclipse got sporked over at das_sporking. In which much fuss is made over... Bella thinking melodramatically about poking herself with a sharp rock to distract hostile vampires. She doesn't even do it, guys. She doesn't do anything - not that that's a change from her usual, really.
So here goes - a bit of not quite PG language follows:
The Ballad of Bella's Sacrifice
Once there was a vampire
Victoria by name
Cullens ate her hubby
And wasn't that a shame?
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
She swore she'd get revenge
Upon the human cause
A girl known as Bella
The Princess of All Bores
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Made a newborn army
Though nobody much cared
Until they got moving
And made the Cullens scared
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Vicky, she went hunting
For Isabella Swan
Beyond fourth walls she knew
Some folk would cheer her on
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Bella watched the fighting
And grabbed herself a rock
-Material akin
To Edward's marble cock
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
Slow of thought, slow to move
Bella stood, rock in hand
Her gesture did fuck-all
Now tell me, ain't that grand?
(Bella Bella, now be nice
Bella think of sacrifice)
The battle was boring
And over soon enough
Thus the tepid 'story'
Moved on to other stuff:
All the angst of Edward
And wedding bells ahead
For the pair so boring
You'd swear they were both dead.
(Bella, it won't be so nice
Your hubby's cock is sparkly ice!)
***
So yeah. XD That's it.