Silm Chat Nonsense

Sep 11, 2010 21:07

A discussion of PMS with cassie5squared a few months back segued into a rather cracky Silmarillion discussion. Upon browsing my chatlogs, I found it again, and decided to share it.
Note: Rule of Funny applies and therefore takes precedence over some canon details, alternate names were made up on the spot and are thus neither polished/linguistically accurate nor given letter-accents such as they should have, which also applies to the canon names we were typing.
This contains: Crack, language, and much weirdness.


Cassie: ...exceedingly random thought: we thought Feanor had a bad temper as he was, how much worse d'you reckon he'd have been with girl bits?
Rilwen: *snerks*
*imagines weepy!PMSing!Feanor*
Cassie: *can't help but giggle*
Rilwen: luckily she can repair the things she breaks
Cassie: I can see the entire family laying in a stock of badly-made crockery for her especially XD
Rilwen: heee
Cassie: "Ohshit, it's Mum's time of the month again... EVERYONE TAKE COVER!"
Rilwen: ...Rule 63 entire House of Feanor, oh god
Cassie: The Daughters of Feanor: They Strike Fear Into The Heart of Morgoth By Simply PMSing.
Rilwen: ravingly psychotic yet beautiful Noldor High Princesses :p
Cassie: oh yes
Rilwen: they'd be stunners. but scary
Cassie: ehehe
Rilwen: Tyelkorme does not wear dresses
they'd just get in the way
Cassie: of course
Rilwen: instead, she spent most of her childhood century grubby, in torn clothes, and covered in animal hair and similar
it came as a shock when Feanare nagged her into cleaning up and it was revealed she's actually gorgeous and golden-haired
they all thought she was a brunette :p
Cassie: LOL
Rilwen: Carnistiriel: the dark but lovely maid many would pursue... if they did not then think about the idea of ever resting in the same bed as her if they ever made her mad
Cassie: *giggle*
Rilwen: and the twins... they speak in 'twin language' and are always dressed the same
and have never been apart except that week they had a crush on the same guy and weren't talking to each other
Cassie: heeheehee
Rilwen: Maedhriel/Fingon :p
Cassie: Is no longer slashy? :P
Rilwen: and also eases tensions between Finwean branches
because Maedhriel is still in line to share rulership
Cassie: true :P
Rilwen: fem!Maglor... actually changes hardly at all :p
just sings in a higher pitch :p
Cassie: *gigglesnort*
Rilwen: ...sudden femslash
unrequited Tyelkorme/Luthien
Cassie: oh dear :P
Rilwen: "Why doesn't she like me? *wibble*"
Curufiniel: Shh. She will.
that or she has a thing for Beren instead XD
Cassie: XD whoopsie :P
Rilwen: lucky fucker, two Elven girls competing for him :p
Cassie: not so lucky when you consider who they are :P
Rilwen: Beren, re Tyelkorme: I thought Elves were refined! She's more butch than I am! D:
Cassie: *stifles hysterical laughter with nearest cushion*
Rilwen: Celegorel hunts all her own food and does not know this dainty grace thing of which you speak!
Cassie: hehe
bad Rilwen XD
Rilwen: and then on her sister's advice she gets cleaned up, and uses the Finwean Charm, and it all comes down to which hair colour Beren prefers :p
Cassie: win :P
Rilwen: to pinch a quote from Cleolinda and repurpose it:
Celegorel: Can I borrow a cup of sex?
Cassie: XD!
You win a cookie :P
Rilwen: GUINEVEIRA: Hey, baby! Hey baby, you so fine, baby!

ARTHUR: *keeps riding*

GUINEVEIRA: I've heard lots of stories about you, about how you're a big strong killative man.

ARTHUR: *keeps riding*

GUINEVEIRA: Hey, can I borrow a cup of sex?

ARTHUR: *rides away*

GUINEVEIRA: DAMMIT.
Cassie: yup
Rilwen: picturing that with those two... XD
Cassie: brain can never erase... :P
Rilwen: Celegorel does it in the forest!
Cassie: ahahaha
Rilwen: Celegorel: So, half-Maia?
Luthien: Yes.
Celegorel: Uh-huh. My dog's Maia. I can see the resemblance. Bitch.
Cassie: MEEEE-OW.
Rilwen: hehe
and Beren watches them fight, looking bemused and slightly afraid
Cassie: wouldn't you?
Rilwen: yup :p
Cassie: "Why'd I get involved with thes crazy girls again? D:"
Rilwen: "oh, right, because they're hot."
Cassie: :P
Rilwen: man who falls for dancing elfmaid is not thinking much of personalities :p
Cassie: point
Rilwen: M-e has chocolate pretty damn quick
Feanare and Daughters see to that
Cassie: *giggling so hard*
Rilwen: also, something equivalent to hot-water bottle :p
Cassie: *snerk*
you know, I think even Melkor'd change his mind about nicking the Silmarils :P
Rilwen: Finrod Felagund was Friend-of-Man. Feanare is Friend-of-Woman
Cassie: XD
I can imagine Melkor, though... "On one hand, PRETTY SHINIES! ...Um. On the other hand, pissing them off... maybe shinies not worth that much pain."
Rilwen: that or he'd have some kind of thing for Feanare XD
Cassie: ...creepy D:
Rilwen: and only pinches the Silmarils because she keeps rejecting him
cue the charging off after him, which is what he wanted
...until she batters down his gates
"NO MEANS NO, ASSHOLE"
Cassie: :D

a rilwen is saying strange things again, fandom, funny, silmarillion, random, elf, weird

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