all sorted
I sorted everything out. I got lots of warnings about doing it again and all that, but I'm me, and I have to do this. I have to make this work out because I need to believe that this can work. I told Azaria that this is only to be casual from now on. I asked her how much she liked him, and if she could do this first. She understands. Mark also understands from our conversation last night. Mark was texting me while I was texting Azaria, but he didn't know that I was texting her. I told him that she could come over tomorrow not, and then probably not again until next weekend to put some distance between them. He said that she wouldn't anyway. I told him to text her and find out. He was pretty happy when she said she'd come over. He goes "what did you say to her?". I just told him I was awesome. He agreed.
This is a casual thing from now on. I told her, and he knows. She said she will keep it casual. I asked her if she'd get attached if she saw him again, and she said she'd get attached if she didn't. I told her that if this happened again that was it, she'd never see him like that again. I told her that her and Mark wouldn't see each other as regularly as they had been, that it would probably be a weekend thing because that makes sense for everyone. So we're all sorted and everything is ok and if it blows up again then it's not happening again. So I sorted it all out and now I feel much better about things. This situation needs control, and I can do that, and if I feel like they're getting too close then I'll keep them apart for a little while longer. They can like each other, I can't stop that, but I do know that Mark loves me and only really likes having sex with Azaria. She needs to stop her feelings for him and just keep it at a friend level. It can be done.
I feel like that is all I'm talking about lately. It's a pretty big thing though.
I thought my throat was better this morning because I woke up and felt fine, but then I swallowed, and, well, OUCH. After I had a shower and breakfast I went back to bed and back to sleep, which is very unusual for me. Mark keeps telling me that I'm faking, but if I was faking I wouldn't be sleeping! Although I am always tired, I find it very hard to sleep during the day and usually can never get to sleep. To get through the pain I have a throat numbing spray thing and pineapple juice. I don't know why but pineapple juice makes swallowing easier. I have no idea why it does this, or if it's just a me thing, well it's not because it works for Mum too. I've had three glasses today, and this particular brand of juice that I'm drinking has like 200%RDI for vitamin C in each glass, so I'm basically overdosing on vitamin C. I don't think that's bad for me. If nothing else at least I won't get a cold on top of this sore throat. My doctor recommended gargling salt water, which I've done, and it's helped a little. Basically I'm just not talking much and swallowing as little as possible. I can sing though, which I discovered today. It doesn't actually hurt to talk, but it hurts to swallow, which I do more if I talk.
My second stats lab was due in today. It wasn't that hard. I had a fair bit of catching up to do for it though, because I haven't done any study yet this week, on account of feeling like utter shit! All I had to do was to reproduce a couple of the graphs in the text. The data in all the chapters in the SPSS textbook were online and it guides you through how to do everything using that example. The graphs themselves were really easy to do, so it was a really easy assignment. I managed to reproduce all the graphs without looking at the instructions in the text, because I didn't save them when I did them with the text the first time. Each lab is only worth 4% of the whole entire grade for the semester, but I still want to do well. And I've already missed one. I probably could have done it and still sent it away late but I just wasn't bothered.
I moped around the house all day. I alternated from doing my stats work, to Facebook, to my blogs. It was a pretty alright day considering I didn't have to work and I was supposed to. I've got a whole heap of washing to do but I wasn't bothered today. I reasoned that it wouldn't have been done today anyway because if I wasn't sick I'd be at work.
Mark dragged me to dinner at his family's house. Actually, I went freely. There was nothing else here to eat for dinner, and I was just finishing my stats lab when he asked me to come. I needed dinner anyway. His parents are in the process of buying a block of land to put a house on. This time last year they were having financial difficulties. Obviously not anymore. I don't know why they're moving house. They don't need to. Their house is fine. It might actually be a little bit big for them now, with Mark living with me and Michelle and her husband building their own house now. They've also done a lot of work to that house, and I thought it was very convenient for them with the shed out the back and all that. I guess they're over it. So if they get this block of land they'll build a house on it and sell their own house. I guess now is probably the time to do it with the rates so low.
Mum keeps talking about how I should buy a house because of the first home buyers grant and all that jazz. I don't want a house! I don't want to live here forever, and I know renting is a waste of money because you don't get to keep the place you live in, but it's fine for the moment. I'll buy once I'm out of uni and have a full time job and want to get married and have kids and whatever. That isn't now. And Mark is hopefully going to get into the police force at some point, and so he'll need to go study for that, and then when he graduates he'll get placed somewhere and I'll go with him (I have faith that we'll still be together). I don't want to buy a house because I don't feel as if I'm in a stable position in life at the moment. I could buy a house with Mark and then break up with him. I could decide to go study on campus next year, so I wouldn't need a house. What would I do with one then? I could go live in another town with Mark when he graduates from the police academy. Buying a house is such a big committment, and one that I don't want to make right now. Sure I'd love to have a place as my own, where I could put hooks in the wall without asking permission, and paint the walls my colours and plant my own plants and all that, but at the moment I'm happy renting.
Mark's neice is actually a cute baby. I don't think I've ever said that before. I don't talk about Michelle and her little family much. But tonight they were talking about how Mark's neice now has teeth, and I realised that she is growing up fast. She's nine months, or there abouts. She has great big blue eyes too, not like Bub. I'm starting to be able to see Michelle in her now. I've only ever held her like twice or something though. I'm not that close with them yet. I still don't feel completely comfortable around them, and I just don't feel right holding her. She's also very not like Bub. I picked her up once and she was so light. Bub is a big boy, whereas Mark's neice is fairly little. She eats real food now too. Bub's been eating real food for ages now. Bub runs around everywhere now. You can't keep up with him. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to have kids, but that won't happen for a while. Not until after uni. That's my plan. Everything is "after uni".
Tomorrow I'm booking my massage that Mark bought me for my birthday. I'm getting it done the week I'm on holidays, which is the week after next. I can't wait. I really am excited. I've never had a professional massage before.
Azaria got her nose pierced today. Apparently she's getting her tongue done next week. That's something I don't understand; tongue piercings. I could never do it. Azaria also has her belly button pierced. That's another that I won't do. I just don't think it looks good. I'm not opposed to people who have it done, I just wouldn't get it done.
Ha. Azaria just texted Mark saying that they can't have sex tomorrow. She has thrush. She doesn't know that though, well I just texted her and told her. She's never had it before, so all she told Mark was that it was "really itchy". So obviously Mark has it, and he's been passing it back to me, and now he's passed his overgrowth of yeast to her. I feel kind of sorry for her. Thrush is nasty. I wouldn't really wish it upon anyone, unless they were a dirty dirty whore. Anyway, in a funny turn of events her and Mark won't be having sex for a little while anyway.