worry
An online friend on Facebook just told me not to worry about her, that she was fine. My reply was that I worried about her all the time, I couldn't help it. It was strange, considering Melissa said that to me not two weeks ago. "but I worry about you, I can't help it". If we all just stopped worrying about everyone else and started worrying about ourselves we'd be ok I think. I worry about this girl, who really isn't fine, and Melissa worries about me, who isn't really fine, and I worry about her, because I know things are hard for her, and we're all just worrying about everyone else. We spend so much time convincing ourselves that we are ok, and that everyone else needs taking care of. We need to take care of ourselves first. Worry is a weird emotion. It hurts when someone else hurts, but worrying ultimately doesn't achieve anything. It's not as if worrying can actively stop someone from doing what you're worrying about, unless you tell them and they have enough sense to listen to you. Which they usually don't, because they're too preoccupied trying to convince themselves that they're fine that they don't realise that you actually really do worry about them.
I'm a worrier. I worry about everyone. I worry about things that are unnecessary. I worry about people that I don't even know. I just want everyone to be ok. It really doesn't help much, because the worry isn't great enough to motivate me into doing anything at all. I just sit here being ridiculously worried and feeling all the more bad about it because there's nothing I can do about it. I always tell people that I care about them, but I'm not sure how much they listen. How many people have told me that they care about me and how many times have I just tossed that bit of information aside? Too many. People just need to stop for two seconds and believe what someone says when they say they are worried about them. Take two seconds to think of why. No one is ever truly alone in this world, not with me around worrying about them anyway.