all about sex
This is my non drunk "drunken" entry for the weekend. The one where I'm up late and not much tired and am bored. Going to bed is an option, but I like the feeling of staying up this late for no reason. I am tired, but not tired enough.
I have the house to myself. Mark has gone out with Chad, Daniel and Matt. I technically wasn't invited, but then I decided I'd rather stay at home anyway. I read when he left, and then decided to go to sleep, and then felt a little bit horny so I decided to come look up some porn. Only to find that when Mark transported my computer back to its desk he didn't plug the stereo in properly. Oh well, that didn't matter.
I'm really not sure why I'm horny. It's not something that I experience often. I even feel a bit weird writing about it. Even though I'm very open about it, I don't talk to many people about sex and masturbation. I talk to Mark about it, and I used to talk to Melissa about it, but that's it really. Ally isn't that sort of person, and Charlotte and I aren't really that close. I talked about it with Precious, but we haven't talked about this sort of thing since before I decided to stop trying to get with her. I'm quite comfortable talking about it, it's just that no one really wants to hear about it, and I respect that. But I'm too open to care at this point, so this is the official warning (as if the title wasn't enough, I know some people are still going to be curious though).
I really don't get horny very often. I've been on and off all day though, oddly enough. It's been weird. Mark suggested sex this morning, but I turned him down, even though a part of me was going "yea sure why not?". I'm horny because I've been talking to Melissa consantly for the last day and a half, not about sex though. I'm horny because one of the girls at work touched my back softly while I wasn't concentrating on anything. I'm horny because Mark has plans to pick up this hot girl tonight and I want him to. I'm horny because it's been too long since I've been with a girl. I just want to do that, but I can't, so watching porn is the next best thing.
I don't watch porn often, but lately I watch porn every time I masturbate. It's just a habit I've developed. Porn does the job, and it's better than my imagination because it can carry a storyline (or lack there of) without any effort. I get distracted. Something that is prerecorded does not. I don't think Mark knows how big my porn collection really is. All I've got are just like three to five minute film clips, but there's a lot of them. Most of them I only watch once anyway. I don't know why I download them when I could just watch them and not have them take up space on my computer.
Mark and I have such different interests when it comes to what turns us on. He's pretty plain. He likes anal and just plain sex. He's a straight porn guy. I can watch straight porn at times, but most of the time I download lesbians. It's just because I'm not getting any. Mark doesn't really like lesbian porn that much, he prefers it in real life or not at all. Mark says he doesn't have any little fetishes, but I'm sure he does. Maybe he just doesn't know what they are yet. I know I do. There's so much that turns me on that he doesn't know about. Everytime I initiate a conversation like this I get nervous that he'll think I'm too out there for him because he's so vanilla. And I like having little things that I can call my own. What gets me off when I'm with him and when I'm alone don't have to be the same thing.
I'm not even sure what I'm into when it comes to fetishes. I'm pretty open though, I'll consider most things. I'm planning on having some fun experimenting with some ideas at a later date, when I'm not drugged up on medication that makes me cringe at the thought of having sex most days. An old online friend I had had this awesome blog which was a list of sexual terms that you could give your opinions on. I wish I copied that survey. I'd love to do it now. I'm too lazy to go Google random sexual things, and the site I download porn off is pretty basic with its content. There's nothing all that freaky on it. I guess you'd say it's mainstream porn. I Google some things some times, when I feel like watching something in particular, but other than that I don't really go into anything that I can't download off that site.
And that's it now. I'm going to bed.