the grad, and other stuff
I was home for about an hour yesterday, which was spent hurriedly getting ready and then waiting for them to show up to pick me up at any moment. I didn't get home until after midnight, so I didn't blog yesterday. I'll just make up for it today, with an extra long blog, or a couple of posts.
Work was pretty alright yesterday. That's why we don't really need to discuss it. Nothing happened.
After work I came home (walked in the rain), got dressed, tried to charge and sync my iPod (it had a shit and decided to die) and then caught a taxi to the hairdressers. I babysat Bub and Jayden while Mum and Louise got their hair and make up done. Our hairdresser is tres cool and does our make up for us sometimes. Mum and Louise had their hair nearly the exact same way, just that Louise had a little boof at the front and Mum's was all pulled back. I did my hair something similar, and it took me like five minutes, and it didn't fall out. Which is amazing, because I don't own hairspray (as I realised last night). They were both finished at the hairdressers in under two hours, which I thought was amazing. I went back to Mum's and waited for Mark to pick me up from there so I could come home and get ready (my dress was at Mum's, my hair stuff, make up, shoes, everything else was at the flat). It was a cloudy, misty rainy day yesterday, and Mum wanted photos in one of the parks, as that seems to be our little tradition. She told me to hurry and get ready so that we could go while it wasn't raining, but I was ready over half an hour before they came to pick me up. We did finally get to the park, and had a few photos. It was really quite cold, which was very unusual, but we survived. I took more candid shots, which I liked better. We got there a little early, considering how rushed we were, and had time to spare. We sat at a table with three of Louise's friends and their parents.
There was about a hundred kids in Louise's year, so there was a hundred kids on stage, each getting their name called out and walking down the steps to shake hands with the principle and the bishop. Louise was ninth from last, which is nothing unusual. There were some really nice dresses, and some really not that nice dresses. The majority of them were all the same really. Louise should have got some poofy princess dress because she would have stood out a mile. The style was very long, very fitted, cut out backs, and just all together straight. There were a few exceptions to that rule, a few girls wore cocktail dresses. Not many though. There were four or so red dresses, which would have annoyed me. One of Louise's friends was wearing the same dress as another girl, just in a different shade of green, which would have pissed me off. The stores are supposed to take your name and school so that that sort of thing doesn't happen. I particularly loved the dress of a girl that I fought with over the whole Sarah thing. Actually, no, we didn't fight, I fought with her boyfriend, and so we stopped talking. That girl is hot as, and I wished I could have had the chance to tell her that I thought she looked amazing, but she was kind of looking down at me all night. I don't know if she hates me, but I wasn't willing to test that.
Then they served the entrees, a plate drop of prawns or some chicken noodle salad thing. It was sort of a weird choice. The chicken was alright. Then Jayden started being a little shit, although that's no different than usual. He was just being his normal ten year old self, but Mum was quite stressed for some stupid reason. The way she always is. In between the entree and the main Jayden pissed Mum off something chronic. Then when dinner was being served she went to feed Bub, mostly because Jayden wanted her dinner (didn't buy him a ticket, so he doesn't get a meal) and then we were all there and Jayden was still pissing her off but she got her meal. We missed the speeches, which I was ok with but I just hoped that Louise didn't feel neglected or something. I caught the last of the captians' speech, and the cutting of the graduation cake. Then the dancing began.
For the first half of the night I was Louise's personal photographer, which I didn't mind at all. I followed her around and took photos of her with all of her friends, and with some of the teachers, and of them dancing, and of Jayden with a few of her friends. She got sick of me after a while. She doesn't like photos the way I like photos, but I figured she'd at least want some memories. I hung around with her group for a little while. It surprises her, but I think they actually like me. I'm not some annoying big sister to them, and I can talk to some of them for a while, especially her closest friends, which she's known since the beginning of primary school. Those two were the ones who played soccer with us. It shocks Louise to know that her friends might just think I'm cool. One of the girls took a photo with me and another friend (I can't remember who, she just grabbed me) and Louise was like "oh why do you want a photo with her?!" and then kept trying to put her hand in front of my face.
For the second half of the night I was partying. The DJ wasn't half bad, considering he's not the best in town. He played some alright songs, mostly old ones that everyone knows, which is always good. I didn't drink anything because I didn't know what wine they had and it seemed a bit expensive, so I just had Coke. Louise wasn't drinking either. Apparently she's not a big alcohol person. I did get an orange wrist band though, to say that I was old enough to buy alcohol. I didn't get one at my own grad, and truth be told, if I didn't have one and had wanted a drink, they probably wouldn't have served me.
I danced with Lena. For some odd reason I didn't even think that she would be there, but of course she would be. Lena made my night. She is so absolutely beautiful and such a good dancer, and I love her to pieces as a friend. We don't talk much, but when we do we don't want to let each other go! She leaves for Russia (where she's from) in like three days, for three months. I see her at work occasionally, she works in the same store that Mark does. She doesn't really have many friends, I think mostly because she's a bit shy. I took her in when she was in the year below me (she redid year eleven so that she could get a better mark because her english was getting better) and we've been close since then. I'm not sure who she hung out with after I left, because a few times Emily told me she wasn't sitting with them. In all honesty, Lena could seriously have her choice of friends, because she's that nice and that beautiful, but she's shy.
Lena looked better than most of the girls at the graduation, and she only had a plain dress on, with minimal make up and her hair was just normal. She just has that kind of beauty. I'm jealous. Well, no I'm not really, I'm extremely happy to know her. She used to model, I've got a few photos of her that I saved from her email account ages ago. I don't think I have them anymore. She really is beautiful. I can't stop saying that! I have photos of her to post. She randomly just emailed me the two photos she took last night, just as I was writing about her! That was odd but funny. Lena used to have FaceBook but apparently something happened with it and it did something to her computer or her email address or something so she deleted it. That's too bad, because it was the only way I was communicating with her for a little while.
I know I must sound like I'm in love with Lena, but I'm not. When I first met her I really wanted her, but it kind of ended up like things with Precious did. Better off as friends. I explained to Lena that I was bisexual, and hinted at her that I liked her, but if she knew that I did she never said anything. She told me she wasn't really open to that sort of thing, and that was that. I just love Lena as a friend. She is absolutely adorable.
At one point during the night while I was walking back to our table, one of the sluts of Louise's year went "eww" really loudly into my ear. That made me laugh. They're the girls that are sluts but think they're not, are ugly but think they're the hottest thing out, get with all the boys just because the put out, sit down the back of the school yard smoking, talk back to the teachers, get pregnant at seventeen (well one of them did anyway). At Louise's year ten formal, when I was being photographer, they were all standing in the gateway where I needed to get through and one of them was like "oh let the bisexual one through" with that condescending tone, which I find absolutely hilarious because I know for a fact that they've at least kissed each other, and probably slept with each other numerous times as well. They say bisexual like it's a slutty word, but for them it's alright. Girls like that make me laugh. They don't realise how petty they're being. And like, oh my god, she yelled "eww" in my ear, I'm totally going to go cry. I honestly just laughed. That's definately one good part of graduating; knowing there are people you'll never see again.
At some point during the night I thought about everything that's ever happened. I wished that I hadn't fallen out with people like Emily, because I would have had more fun if I was still friends with her. I would have had someone else to dance with. I would ultimately have more friends now. I thought about Amy as well, but Amy dropped out a few months back so she wasn't at the graduation. I thought about everything I've done to make people not like me. and it got me down a little bit. I pushed it out though, because I wanted to have a good time. I can't change it now, and I had Lena last night, and Louise, even though Louise doesn't like me that much. Lena liking me makes up for Louise and Emily and most other people not liking me. Sometimes I think if I could, I'd go back and change everything I did, but then I realise, I probably wouldn't.
About an hour before the grad ended I took my shoes off to dance because my shoes were hurting my feet. That was a bad idea. My feet ended up black and so, so dirty. I said goodbye to Lena, and promised I would email her my photos, and that we'd definately, definately catch up when she came back from Russia.
The school year isn't completely over yet. They still get their HSC results in December. And then they'll get their uni acceptances and offers. Somewhere near my birthday there'll be the awards night, but I don't know if Louise will get an award. I don't know if she's topped any classes. But in everything that matters, they have finished. They're big adults now out in the real world. I actually have no real idea about what Louise plans to do. She wants to do primary school teaching at the uni I go to, but that's if she gets in. Is she smart enough to get in for that? I don't know. I doubt the UAI is very high though, or it might be if it's an in demand course. I remember how I felt when I graduated. I wasn't sad at all. I was free. All those people that hated me, I'd never have to see them again. Louise is more liked than I was, so she probably doesn't feel like that. For me, ending highschool wasn't the end of something big, it was the start of something bigger. I knew I had university and Mark and the people that actually liked me, I knew I was going to go out and find somewhere that I belonged and define myself better than anyone else could. Highschool wasn't that great for me, but I think Louise had it better. I wonder what Louise will do now. She's got two half jobs, and I'm not sure of her chances of getting into uni. I'm sure they're good, but are they good enough?
I got home after midnight last night. It was the longest I've stayed active for a while. And the best night I've had in a very long time. I pretty much went straight to sleep. I didn't even clean my feet off! I woke up when Mark did this morning, but went back to sleep, waking again just before 9am. I was up at 4am because I needed to go to the toilet, and what I was doing for my thrush wasn't doing it's job. I used garlic (seehere), and it worked a little bit, but I think I was just a bit irritated last night, so I pulled that out and stuck the cream in there. I really wanted to find something natural to use, but last night I couldn't really put up with it anymore, and I know the cream works. Maybe next time. Ok, well I'm hoping not a next time, but I'm sure there will be. That's three times now.
It's still misty and rainy outside. I like it. It's a bit cold too, which isn't bothering me. I'm doing a whole heap of washing today, even though it's raining and I don't really have much space to hand them inside. We seriously need clean work clothes! We have none, because we didn't wash on the weekend because we were too busy concentrating on going to Charlotte's. I'm going to have a completely me day, one that doesn't involved bludging and watching the OC all day. I have so much stuff to get done, so I'm going to try and get it done. I'm in an alright mood, even though I can't seem to shake the feeing that I really need to see Eden very soon. Nothing is happening really, it's just been too long. No one has rang me back yet, so I'm thinking that I should just ring and see if I can get an appointment myself, and then try to get around working at that time. But today should be a good day. I've got plenty of photos to sort through, and lots to do.