home alone
Mark left for Newcastle today. Not until like 2pm though, so I had half the day with him. We started off with amazing shower sex (which is something he hates, but I bribed him). I'm sure people don't want to read intimate details of my hardly existant sex life anyway. I don't write that sort of blog (even though I most definately could). We went around to Mum's too just because. I picked up my black bra that I've been tearing the flat apart to find ever since we moved in. Apparently I found it there one day, and left it there for Mum to wash so that I could pick it up and it would be clean. Well she hasn't washed it yet! And I asked her if she'd seen it the other day and she goes "yea it's on the washing machine" so I'd found it. I made Mark take me to get McDonalds for breakfast, and rang Mum to see if she wanted any because she always complains about no one buying her any (it's not something we do often) so I thought I'd ask, but she didn't want any anyway. We still went around there anyway, because I wanted to.
I made Mark take me shopping. He bought a tube of sunscreen to take away because I was being all motherly and making sure he wasn't going to get burnt. Only because I've recently woken up to myself and bought my own sunscreen so that I don't get burnt. I used to not care about it, but now I'm kind of realising that it's actually really bad for me. I need to be more health conscious. Anyway, we went into Bras N Things and I bought some new undies, because I've been buzzing to buy some for days now. I get a hit when I buy undies. To me it's more exciting to buy hot underwear than a new dress or pair of shoes. I've always joked that when I have enough money I'm going to start my own underwear collection. I just usually buy simple things though. I have one corset, and am looking forward to buying another one at some point, but they're quite expensive and I don't have much money. I also love stockings. I just love getting dressed up in something that's just so sexy, and I love the undies I buy. My favourites are a black pair of skimpy cuts. They're simple, and utterly hot. Anyways, these are the undies I bought today, I think they totally suit me: "moody"
Then we came home and Mark played Spore and I did nothing. He's addicted to that game now. I want to play it, but I don't want to get addicted to it. I'm addicted enough to the Sims, which is why I don't play it that often because I get into moods where I need to play it. I don't really have time to sit on the computer playing a game for hours on end. I got annoyed at hime because he played COD right before his parents came to pick him up. He got the message when I went upstairs and didn't come back. I was lying on the bed annoyed. Before he left he apologised like a million times. I think I've been a bit demanding lately. I'm always like "come sit with me" or "come spend some time with me" and I think he's getting sick of it. I like it best when we just sit with each other. We don't even have to talk. I feel like I can't tell him what goes through my head sometimes, but at the same time I feel like I don't need to, that he understands even without the words. He seen the cuts on my legs, and the ones I added to it after I wrote about my last session with Eden, and he wasn't even that upset. He says it's stupid, and I know it is, but I told him I've got nothing else at the moment. And I don't, there are times when writing doesn't make me feel better, and it's always been my coping mechanism.
I was kind of excited to see him go for the weekend. I know he'll have an awesome time. After my sleep over with Precious I said I wanted to have my own girly sleep over, but now that Mark's not here I've decided to spend a night in on my own. I was planning on being a hermit this weekend and trying to do some things, but I spent all afternoon with Mum. I watched an episode of Smallville, and then Mum rang and asked if I wanted to go to the supermarket with her. We went and ordered a cake, because apparently John's family are going to do lunch for Bub's birthday, but only just because they're all in town for Bub and Jayden's cousin's hen's night for her wedding (that we weren't invited to). So we went and ordered a sponge cake for tomorrow, and went and asked about some chickens from Red Rooster. They quoted us for five chickens, four coleslaws and four garden salads, and ten big bread rolls cut in half for nearly $100. That'll feed twenty people, which is the amount of people that are in town, but I seriously doubt they'll all show. Mum's spending money on this lunch, and they won't even appreciate it. I'm betting half of them didn't even remember Bub's birthday. They're all a bunch of dickheads.
Speaking of, John wasn't terribly bashed up and left for nothing in the middle of the street. There is no fat lip or bloodied and bruised face. There is, however, a broken collar bone with an arm in a sling, so Mum rekons he hurt himself somehow, probably fell over or off of something. Dickhead. But apparently he's still sticking to the bashed up story, and is bragging about "coming out on top" or some shit like that.
It started raining while I was in town with Mum, which sucks because we both still have clothes on the line. Mark texted me and told me it was raining where he was, and asked if I'd taken the clothes off, but I was still in town. It looked nasty, but I thought it would be a while before the rain hit, but I was wrong. Now my clothes are soaked, but I'm pretty sure I did all the necessary ones yesterday and they're all safe inside. I'm hoping.
I ended up staying at Mum's all afternoon and for dinner. I put photos onto the computer for her, because she doesn't know how and Louise won't. It was good playing with Bub. Louise's stuff was all over the room, so I couldn't get in and sort any stuff out because she was studying in there. And she actually was studying. She was looking up chapter summaries for Emma/Clueless because, like me, she didn't read Emma. I found it way too boring, I think she did too. I watched the movie, and got through alright. I probably aced my creative writing though, where as she won't really do that. We had spaghetti bolognaise for dinner, but only a frozen one. Mum doesn't get time to cook, which is totally understandable. The house was still just as much of a mess than it was when I left, and it felt weird to be back there. Kind of like I'd left, and kind of like I hadn't been out of there a day. When I get over all of this self centred depression stuff, I'm seriously going to get my ass into gear and help her out. I feel bad for her, for the way that Louise and I were brought up, for the way that Jayden is growing up. Things should have been better, but they weren't, but I can spoil Bub.
Mark is staying at his aunty's place in Newcastle tonight, the same one we stayed at when we went to see Dance and Snow Patrol before that. They're the only people in his family that I actually like, not that I really see or talk to them that much. At least they have us there when we go down there. They're just nice people. The eldest girl is kind of like a barbie doll type, but she's pretty nice. She owns her own little nail and beauty salon thing, or at least she did last time I heard. She probably still does. I heard she was doing pretty good. The middle kid is a guy, who is doing his HSC this year. Apparently he was really depressed earlier this year, so even though he's really quiet and reserved and I really have nothing to do with him, I totally relate. The youngest is a little girl who is like 11 or 12 or something. She's so shy. She hardly talks, except to her family, friends and Mischa. She's cute. They're just really cool, nice people, which to me is such a contradiction from Mark's immediate family.
He's going out drinking with some of his cousins tonight. I texted him just before 8pm and he said he was already drinking. He doesn't see his cousins often, so I'm not worried about the overload of alcohol, and apparently they didn't drink anything yesterday (him and Daniel). I don't know if they're going out tonight or just sitting at someone's place drinking. I told him he was welcome to pick up, and he was happy about that. I'm not sure if he's up for another round of sex after this morning though! Although he did fuck Emma yesterday while I was at work! Man I wish I had someone else like he does right now. I'm so jealous, in a good way, happy for him. I just hope he's not too hung over tomorrow. He said he'll be buying beer at the grand final because they sell it there, but it'll probably be really expensive for not very good stuff in a plastic cup. I said he just shouldn't bother. He'll have an awesome time tomorrow, and I'm actually pretty happy with being home alone this weekend.
I'm also home alone next weekend while Mark attends his nana's birthday party. I asked for time off work but couldn't get it. Katie upped me for asking so late, but it wasn't my fault. I can't tell people to send out their invites earlier. I don't mind though. I won't have to spend money going away, and for some weird reason I got extra hours on check outs next weekend. I'll hardly miss Mark next weekend because now I'll be doing nine hours on Saturday and five on Sunday. I've also got ten hours work on Monday, which is the public holiday, so I won't be missing him. He gets home on Monday afternoon, but probably not until 5 or 6pm.
I'm really happy to be home alone. I like doing my own thing, and I think about it, and when I'm in a mood like this I think I could totally live on my own. It'll be good to be able to get out of bed whenever I want, and get dressed whenever I want, although I do have to go to this lunch thing tomorrow, even though now that it's raining it'll be at someone's house and not in the park. I'm going to get out of bed when I want to tomorrow, because lately I've been waking up at 6-7am and tossing and turning to get back to sleep simply because it's too early. Tomorrow morning I'll be able to get out of bed as soon as I wake up. And daylight savings starts tonight, or early tomorrow morning. I'll set my phone forward before I go to sleep though, and my computer resests itself. I'll have to do the microwave clock when Mark gets home, because I don't know how to do it. I usually just go off my phone anyway. I love daylight savings. I love summer. Bring it the hell on.
I think I'm going to go read now. It's 10pm, and this time is usually where I die out for good lately. I'm not feeling too bad at the moment, so I might get half an hour of reading in, which is good enough for me. I finished Memoirs of a Geisha the night before last. I didn't have as long to go as I thought I did. Now I've started that Reaching Out book again, because I think reading it through again and actually finishing it this time would be really good for me, especially with where I'm at emotionally. After I finish that I've got another Jodi Picoult book that I swapped with Mark's mum (she's got one of mine) and I've also got the Lord of the Rings and Narnia that I haven't finished yet. I also need to finish P.S. I Love You, but it wasn't what I thought so I lost interest. Then, after I read all those I can buy some new books. I also get a kick out of buying books.