this turned into a big family rant
The rest of today is pretty good. It's now 8:18pm, and I'm thinking I should probably go to bed soon. I'm not looking forward to it, but I've never been happy to start work at 5:30am.
We spent the afternoon with Mum and Mark and I bought stuff for a little bbq. I got lots of photos of Bub cause I haven't taken any of him for ages. Louise and James came home but didn't eat with us because they're a bit weird at the moment. They do all sorts of crazy things (like he'll drive Louise all the way home to get one thing and then go all the way back out to his place out of town for the night and then drive her all the way back home at 8am for him to go to work). We also hung around and Mark helped Jason mow the lawns. Then Mark went home at around 4pm and I hung around and Mum and I went grocery shopping.
Jayden's father and brother turned up just as we were about to have lunch and stayed for about ten minutes. Sam (Jayden's older brother, he's 17 now I think) brought his new girlfriend around. He has a new girlfriend every few weeks and they're all the slutty type girls. Once, back on Bebo I found Sam's Bebo page and on it he had a photo of his then-girlfriend, and it was behind and she'd pulled her skirt up and her underwear aside, so it was a photo of her vagina. He was probably really proud, but it was just plain slutty. Mum's really got the shits with them all at the moment, because Jayden's father has gone psycho. He's ignoring both Jayden and Bub and paying all his money and attention towards Sam and not giving any money to Mum for Jayden and Bub. He complains when Mum asks him to do things. Mum said today that he said "what about all the work I'd done around the place like building the cubby house and putting the fence up?" and Mum said "what about how you got me pregnant twice and I was with child for nine months and sick as anything and now I'm doing that all on my own too". Hopefully that one shut him up. As for the cubby house, it's still unfinished and is shockingly made. And the fence is probably the only thing he's done that's still standing, and the only reason for that would be because he didn't do it by himself, the guy on the other side of the fence helped.
Jayden's father has really just been nothing but a pain in the ass. He's one of those guys who's convinced that he can fix everything but he can't. He's a mechanic and Mum's car barely goes. When he first moved in years and years ago he pulled all Mum's stuff out of the shed and put all his stuff in and just threw all her stuff around the place. He's broken everything he's ever touched, just the same as Sam. Sam broke our toilet seat once when he was fighting with his sister. Sam was also smacked with the wooden spoon that Mum had and it broke when it hit him, admittedly probably not Sam's fault but still Jayden's father's fault. Jayden's father also put a TV bracket up in the room that Louise now has (we used to share) and he put a TV on it and it came crashing down. He just really is pathetic, and really quite stupid. If something isn't a motorbike than it's not worth looking at. And he's also just been a real asshole lately. Jayden is on school holidays, and he'll ask him to come around to play soccer in the backyard, but he won't. He just flat out says no in a really rude way, like he won't even say something like "look son I'm busy at the moment but maybe another time", he just says "no I'm too tired" in a really rude way. And he doesn't go and see Bub at all. Mum said that the other day when he decided to come over Bub wouldn't go to him because he obviously doesn't know who is own father is. He didn't do anything with Bub today, but Sam held him for a little while. I think he was just showing Bub off to his new girlfriend.
They just all shit me off. I hate it how Mum seems to have a knack of attracting pathetic men. I've not once liked any of the boyfriends she's had, although Jayden's father seems to be the only one I really knew that well, they've been "together" since I was about eight. I think she's just got low expectations of herself, and she must think deep down that she deserves this or something. I'm sure she could find a decent man. Sure she's got four kids, but she's young (ok she'll be 40 this year) and she still looks pretty damn good. I could say that at least Jayden's father is better than mine, but now I'm not so sure. I don't remember anything about my father though, I only know what I've been told, and at least Jayden might remember his father.
She was complaining today as well about the house and how she let it get so bad. I don't blame her, but we're not bad kids. She had her hands full, and got involved with an idiot who broke and moved all her stuff around. I don't think she blames us, I think she blames herself. Today's comment was "I don't think I was hard enough" and she means hard enough on us. It's true, she never made us do anything. There were times she'd say "if you don't do this you won't go to ..." but we didn't do it, and we still went. It wasn't her fault. The house being a mess isn't anyone's fault, it's the fault of everyone combined. And now that I'm older I am going to help her sort it out. I feel bad at times for all the shit I put her through. After I punched that boy in year twelve Mum and I didn't talk for months. I left home for about two weeks and stayed at Mark's, but then I came home and we didn't talk except for the occasional "I'll be here for dinner" and "I'm going out now". Now we're over that and we talk, but we're not really a close family. Sometimes I think that if none of that had ever happened she'd be a happier person (I sneaked a peek at a perscription for some sort of low dosage anxiety and depression meds a while back, I'm not sure if she ever got them though). I was the guinea pig child, and there were times I fucked up. Now I'm older I can help turn that around. I will help her clean the house up and get all her stuff in order.
Overall the afternoon was good, apart from the complaining. At the moment her complaint of choice is about Louise and James. We all go to Newcastle on Tuesday, and James is going to Wollongong for a specialist appointment of some sort. I don't know when his appointment actually is, but he's decided to drive to Newcastle with us, wait around while Louise is at the show with us, and then go straight to Wollongong from there. The show is at 8pm, so probably won't finish until 10pm, so they want to drive through Sydney to Wollongong in the middle of the night. Not only is that bad enough being night time and him only being a red P plater, but it's school holidays, and World Youth Day week is this week, so the roads everywhere down there are going to be so busy. If I had known I would have bought a ticket for James so he could come, because he rekons he's just going to watch DVDs in his car, which will make him tired. I don't understand why he doesn't drive down on Wednesday morning so that they can both be well rested. I know his specialist appointment isn't on Wednesday because originally he wasn't going down there until Friday. It doesn't make sense, and Mum and I tried to argue Louise out of it, but she wouldn't listen. So now apparently we're taking two cars down to Newcastle, just so James can sit in his car and watch DVDs while we're at the show and then they can continue on to Wollongong in the middle of the night when they're both half asleep. Mum doesn't doubt James's driving, she doubts that they'll be awake and that other people will be driving safely. And it's just plain stupid.
I didn't get home until after six tonight so Ally came and got her coat before I was home. I said she could just as long as she promised a meet up in Newcastle so I could say bye to her before she went back to uni. I only make a big deal out of it because she said she hates doing it, and goodbyes are a necessary thing unless you never want to see anyone again. That and I just want to meet up with her in Newcastle. One day I'm going to visit her at Canberra and she's taking me shopping. It'll probably be next year because she'll be off campus then so we can stay with her if her future room mate doesn't mind! If Charlotte goes back to Albany then we'll also be going to see her and go shopping in Melbourne. I'm thinking I've got about a year to save up for that.
So now it's 9pm and I should be off to bed. I've learnt that I survive best on about seven hours sleep, and my alarm is for 4:45am, so in all reality I've still got another 45 minutes. Any more than about seven hours and I find it too hard to wake up. Anything under that and I find it too hard to get to sleep because I worry that I won't wake up. It just really depends on how tired I am when I try to sleep. I've been tired all day, but of course now that it's sleep time I'm hardly tired at all. Oh well, looks like another night where I'll force myself to go to sleep and wake up constantly. I wake up better on those days anyway.
We spent the afternoon with Mum and Mark and I bought stuff for a little bbq. I got lots of photos of Bub cause I haven't taken any of him for ages. Louise and James came home but didn't eat with us because they're a bit weird at the moment. They do all sorts of crazy things (like he'll drive Louise all the way home to get one thing and then go all the way back out to his place out of town for the night and then drive her all the way back home at 8am for him to go to work). We also hung around and Mark helped Jason mow the lawns. Then Mark went home at around 4pm and I hung around and Mum and I went grocery shopping.
Jayden's father and brother turned up just as we were about to have lunch and stayed for about ten minutes. Sam (Jayden's older brother, he's 17 now I think) brought his new girlfriend around. He has a new girlfriend every few weeks and they're all the slutty type girls. Once, back on Bebo I found Sam's Bebo page and on it he had a photo of his then-girlfriend, and it was behind and she'd pulled her skirt up and her underwear aside, so it was a photo of her vagina. He was probably really proud, but it was just plain slutty. Mum's really got the shits with them all at the moment, because Jayden's father has gone psycho. He's ignoring both Jayden and Bub and paying all his money and attention towards Sam and not giving any money to Mum for Jayden and Bub. He complains when Mum asks him to do things. Mum said today that he said "what about all the work I'd done around the place like building the cubby house and putting the fence up?" and Mum said "what about how you got me pregnant twice and I was with child for nine months and sick as anything and now I'm doing that all on my own too". Hopefully that one shut him up. As for the cubby house, it's still unfinished and is shockingly made. And the fence is probably the only thing he's done that's still standing, and the only reason for that would be because he didn't do it by himself, the guy on the other side of the fence helped.
Jayden's father has really just been nothing but a pain in the ass. He's one of those guys who's convinced that he can fix everything but he can't. He's a mechanic and Mum's car barely goes. When he first moved in years and years ago he pulled all Mum's stuff out of the shed and put all his stuff in and just threw all her stuff around the place. He's broken everything he's ever touched, just the same as Sam. Sam broke our toilet seat once when he was fighting with his sister. Sam was also smacked with the wooden spoon that Mum had and it broke when it hit him, admittedly probably not Sam's fault but still Jayden's father's fault. Jayden's father also put a TV bracket up in the room that Louise now has (we used to share) and he put a TV on it and it came crashing down. He just really is pathetic, and really quite stupid. If something isn't a motorbike than it's not worth looking at. And he's also just been a real asshole lately. Jayden is on school holidays, and he'll ask him to come around to play soccer in the backyard, but he won't. He just flat out says no in a really rude way, like he won't even say something like "look son I'm busy at the moment but maybe another time", he just says "no I'm too tired" in a really rude way. And he doesn't go and see Bub at all. Mum said that the other day when he decided to come over Bub wouldn't go to him because he obviously doesn't know who is own father is. He didn't do anything with Bub today, but Sam held him for a little while. I think he was just showing Bub off to his new girlfriend.
They just all shit me off. I hate it how Mum seems to have a knack of attracting pathetic men. I've not once liked any of the boyfriends she's had, although Jayden's father seems to be the only one I really knew that well, they've been "together" since I was about eight. I think she's just got low expectations of herself, and she must think deep down that she deserves this or something. I'm sure she could find a decent man. Sure she's got four kids, but she's young (ok she'll be 40 this year) and she still looks pretty damn good. I could say that at least Jayden's father is better than mine, but now I'm not so sure. I don't remember anything about my father though, I only know what I've been told, and at least Jayden might remember his father.
She was complaining today as well about the house and how she let it get so bad. I don't blame her, but we're not bad kids. She had her hands full, and got involved with an idiot who broke and moved all her stuff around. I don't think she blames us, I think she blames herself. Today's comment was "I don't think I was hard enough" and she means hard enough on us. It's true, she never made us do anything. There were times she'd say "if you don't do this you won't go to ..." but we didn't do it, and we still went. It wasn't her fault. The house being a mess isn't anyone's fault, it's the fault of everyone combined. And now that I'm older I am going to help her sort it out. I feel bad at times for all the shit I put her through. After I punched that boy in year twelve Mum and I didn't talk for months. I left home for about two weeks and stayed at Mark's, but then I came home and we didn't talk except for the occasional "I'll be here for dinner" and "I'm going out now". Now we're over that and we talk, but we're not really a close family. Sometimes I think that if none of that had ever happened she'd be a happier person (I sneaked a peek at a perscription for some sort of low dosage anxiety and depression meds a while back, I'm not sure if she ever got them though). I was the guinea pig child, and there were times I fucked up. Now I'm older I can help turn that around. I will help her clean the house up and get all her stuff in order.
Overall the afternoon was good, apart from the complaining. At the moment her complaint of choice is about Louise and James. We all go to Newcastle on Tuesday, and James is going to Wollongong for a specialist appointment of some sort. I don't know when his appointment actually is, but he's decided to drive to Newcastle with us, wait around while Louise is at the show with us, and then go straight to Wollongong from there. The show is at 8pm, so probably won't finish until 10pm, so they want to drive through Sydney to Wollongong in the middle of the night. Not only is that bad enough being night time and him only being a red P plater, but it's school holidays, and World Youth Day week is this week, so the roads everywhere down there are going to be so busy. If I had known I would have bought a ticket for James so he could come, because he rekons he's just going to watch DVDs in his car, which will make him tired. I don't understand why he doesn't drive down on Wednesday morning so that they can both be well rested. I know his specialist appointment isn't on Wednesday because originally he wasn't going down there until Friday. It doesn't make sense, and Mum and I tried to argue Louise out of it, but she wouldn't listen. So now apparently we're taking two cars down to Newcastle, just so James can sit in his car and watch DVDs while we're at the show and then they can continue on to Wollongong in the middle of the night when they're both half asleep. Mum doesn't doubt James's driving, she doubts that they'll be awake and that other people will be driving safely. And it's just plain stupid.
I didn't get home until after six tonight so Ally came and got her coat before I was home. I said she could just as long as she promised a meet up in Newcastle so I could say bye to her before she went back to uni. I only make a big deal out of it because she said she hates doing it, and goodbyes are a necessary thing unless you never want to see anyone again. That and I just want to meet up with her in Newcastle. One day I'm going to visit her at Canberra and she's taking me shopping. It'll probably be next year because she'll be off campus then so we can stay with her if her future room mate doesn't mind! If Charlotte goes back to Albany then we'll also be going to see her and go shopping in Melbourne. I'm thinking I've got about a year to save up for that.
So now it's 9pm and I should be off to bed. I've learnt that I survive best on about seven hours sleep, and my alarm is for 4:45am, so in all reality I've still got another 45 minutes. Any more than about seven hours and I find it too hard to wake up. Anything under that and I find it too hard to get to sleep because I worry that I won't wake up. It just really depends on how tired I am when I try to sleep. I've been tired all day, but of course now that it's sleep time I'm hardly tired at all. Oh well, looks like another night where I'll force myself to go to sleep and wake up constantly. I wake up better on those days anyway.