Even ghosts get tired and go home (10/?)
Chapter 10: I think you're the one
[ 1]-[ 2]-[ 3]-[ 4]-[ 5]- [6]-[ 7]-[ 8]-[ 9]-[ 10]-[ 11] - [12]- [13]
First day of school, first day of Donghae, no, Sungmin, stop thinking about Donghae. Donghae. Donghae's smile, the way Donghae's eyes would crinkle when he laughs, Donghae's laughter. Donghae. No, stop it god damn it. He threw one last look into the mirror, he had definitely looked better than he did right now, skin and bones, still pale and tired looking. Sungmin's hair had gotten a little longer and he hadn't bothered with dying his roots, giving him a shabby appearance. He sighed softly and took a deep breath before walking out of the apartment. He was going to see Donghae for the first time in over a month.
Slightly nervous Sungmin stood by his locker, locking and unlocking it over and over again until he heard a familiar voice saying his name. A warm, friendly, familiar voice. He smiled and turned around meeting Donghae's eyes and in that moment time stopped, he felt his heart skip a beat and he worried that his legs would give out. Donghae was smiling widely as he walked up and wrapped his arms around Sungmin, pulling him into a tight hug and all Sungmin could do was to continue smiling like a fool, leaning his chin against Donghae's shoulder, inhaling his scent if just for a short moment before the hug was over. Donghae kept a hand on Sungmin's shoulder and looked him up and down.
"My god, you've lost weight," that was the first thing Donghae said to him, causing Sungmin to blush a little, feeling embarrassed over the fact that he noticed so quickly. But all he did was nod and smile a little.
"You can't weigh more than 110 pounds," correction, 92 pounds, Sungmin didn't want to say anything; he didn't want to worry Donghae.
"I've been inside a lot," seriously Sungmin? Was that your best excuse? But Donghae didn't seem to bother as he just laughed a little before pulling him into another hug.
"I missed you," there came the butterflies, or more like bats, fluttering all around in Sungmin's stomach.
Throughout the day Donghae was close to him, whispering during class, sending notes with small messages written on them, they would talk about their summer. Apparently Donghae had been travelling around the U.S with his family and he talked about New York, Grand Canyon, Hollywood, and Sungmin listened willingly. Smiling brightly as he spoke, looking at him in awe. God how he had missed Donghae. When Donghae would ask Sungmin about his summer he would make up some fake stories or exaggerate the ones he already had. What could he say? He basically stayed inside reading, didn't talk to anyone, didn't do shit?
No he would lie, he would lie to Donghae, because he knew the truth would only hurt him. Donghae was awfully see-through, when he was disappointed it would read across his face just as clear as if he would say it out loud. Sometimes when Donghae looked at him it seemed as if there was more hidden behind his eyes, more feelings, maybe even love. But why would he be in love with Sungmin? Donghae wasn't gay, yeah sure they kissed one night but he was really drunk that night. People do stupid things when they're drunk, right?
"Sungmin... are you listening?" Donghae said, his head tilted and eyebrows raised as he looked at Sungmin with a small smile before shaking his head, laughing softly.
"ahh you're so spacey, I forgot that," his voice was so soft, like velvet, and he was so kind, caring, perfect. Perfect perfect Lee Donghae. Sungmin didn't say anything, he just looked down and smiled to himself, feeling his cheeks heat up.
The school day was coming to an end and all Sungmin could think about was how he didn't want to go home, he didn't want to be without Donghae again, scared he wouldn't be able to breathe without him. As they said good bye Donghae hugged him, holding on to his hand before slowly letting it slip through his grip, one last smile thrown over his shoulder as he waved good bye to Sungmin.
Later that night Donghae called him, as usual, and they talked until 4am. Not really talking about anything special, they never did, Donghae asked him a few questions about how Sungmin was doing, was he feeling well, did he still cut himself, difficult question where Sungmin just gave him evasive answers. Working his best to come up with explanations, he was pale because he stayed indoors, he stayed indoors because he likes it, he lost weight because he doesn't like his mother’s cooking. Stupid explanations really, but Donghae accepted them, if he believed them was a different matter.
Things were just as they used to be, except Sungmin had fallen so deeply in love with Donghae that he wasn't sure he could ever get out. This was nothing like how he felt for Kyuhyun, not one bit. He was still too shy to tell Donghae, too afraid of scaring him away, he didn't want to lose Donghae, he didn't want to lose the only person in his surroundings that he valued. What he didn't know was that Donghae had fallen just as hard, but even more scared of his feelings, his strong feelings for another boy. The most forbidden kind of love.
The remains of August and September passed quickly, the leaves had started to change color and the temperatures had started to drop a lot. Not much had happened between Sungmin and Donghae, they were both raging in love with each other but neither of them dared to admit it. Sungmin was still going through his depressions, still hurting inside. Sungmin had started seeing a therapist since school started, forced by his parents and by the school, yet he never opened up. He wouldn't let this estrange person tell him how to act and think, he also wouldn't have them knowing about his sexuality. What went on through his head was no one else’s business except his own. Maybe Donghae's a little bit.
3rd of October, 3am Sungmin was benched in the couch, staring mindlessly at the TV screen. Watching crime shows and drinking wine, the apartment felt large and cold without Yesung in it, Sungmin hated it. He much more preferred to stay at Donghae's apartment, sleeping in Donghae's bed, occasionally waking up closer to Donghae than what would be acceptable, lingering in his arms for a little while before scooting away. Not wanting Donghae to notice.
His phone started ringing and Sungmin lazily looked at the screen, Donghae, his face lit up, he knew Donghae would call him, he always called him. Except this time Donghae sounded strange, he was drunk, Sungmin could hear that, but his voice was unusually thick and raspy, a slight tone of panic in it. He wanted Sungmin to come pick him up.
"Where are you?" Sungmin said softly, trying to calm down the boy on the other end of the phone conversation.
"Uhm... I'm not sure? Fuck... Sungmin I'm sorry for calling you but I didn't know who else to call, please pick me up," Donghae sounded desperate and Sungmin was 99% sure he had been crying.
"I will if you could just tell me where you are, Donghae," he was worried now, chewing on his cheek and scratching his thumb nail against his fingers. He had to pry Donghae for an exact location for ten minutes and the second he got one he bounced off of the couch, rushing downstairs, to the car, in with the keys, hurry hurry. He still had Donghae on the phone, pressing his head against his shoulder to keep the phone in its place.
Donghae wasn't hard to miss where he sat on the curb. Alone on a dark street far from anything really, what had he been doing there? He smiled widely when Sungmin pulled up and pushed the car door open for Donghae to get in. It was almost impossible for Donghae to keep his balance; he was swaying back and forth, tripping a little and really struggling before he could get into the car, immediately leaning in and pressing his lips against Sungmin's cheek, leaving a wet stain on his skin before he leaned back with a sigh, his head falling back. Sungmin didn't say a word, he couldn't, he was speechless, he just put the car in drive and started making their way to Donghae's apartment.
"Let's go to your place," Donghae said tiredly, not looking at him and Sungmin nodded, answered a short 'okay' and made route to his own home. Donghae was drunk, really drunk. Sungmin had never seen him this wasted in all honesty and he didn't feel like asking questions about Donghae's evening, what he had done, where he had been or what he did sitting on that empty street in the middle of nowhere. He could ask that tomorrow.
Once they got inside the apartment Donghae had his hands in all the wrong places, at the same time all the right one's though. But Sungmin knew he was drunk, too drunk and he'd just regret anything in the morning. Yet he still couldn't help but enjoy Donghae's touches, even if they were only mere, hands in his, hugs, Donghae nuzzling his face against Sungmin's neck, kissing his cheeks over and over. He insisted on sleeping in the same bed at Sungmin, he didn't want to be alone he said.
"I really like you Sungmin... Too much for my own good," Donghae said as he yawned, scooting closer to Sungmin, wrapping his arms around Sungmin's small body, gently rubbing his thumb over his upper arm. It made Sungmin feel like crying because he knew that when they awoke Donghae wouldn't remember any of it, or he would pretend as if it didn't happen and all Sungmin wanted was for it to be real, he wanted this Donghae. Always.
"Same," Sungmin's voice was basically naught but a whisper, his head was resting on Donghae's chest and he felt it heave, slowly, he listened to Donghae's breathing as it grew heavier and he let his eyes fall shut. Sungmin just wanted to stay in this moment forever; it was perfect, just as perfect as Donghae. Lee Donghae. As if it couldn't get any better Donghae lightly shifted in his position and out of nowhere he pressed his lips onto Sungmin's.
Then it was as if all air disappeared from the room, he was kissing Lee Donghae, Lee Donghae's perfect soft lips against his own and he leaned into the kiss more, never wanting it to end. This time Donghae didn't pull back, he stayed still, his head tilted a little and his lips ever so slightly moving against Sungmin's, making his insides quiver and the bats in Sungmin's stomach going ballistic.
"I like kissing you," Donghae said as he parted from Sungmin's lips, only seconds passing before he kissed him again, his lips slightly parted this time and Sungmin felt his tongue against his own, slowly moving, perfect. Carefully Sungmin slid his arm down Donghae's chest, over his ribs, around his side, he pulled himself closer and Donghae didn't fight it, not one bit. Oh God, it really couldn't get any better than this, he was making out with Donghae, Lee Donghae.
Donghae tilted his head a little bit, angling the kiss and deepening it even more and Sungmin couldn't breathe, Donghae was smothering him with his lips, not in a literal sense but almost. Inside it was as if all oxygen just went away, Sungmin felt woozy, as if the entire surrounding world was spinning around them. It was delirious and delicious. Perfect in every kind of way and when Donghae eventually broke the kiss he looked into Sungmin's eyes, stared right into his soul and Sungmin felt so small. Then he laid his head back onto Donghae's chest, smiling to himself as he fell asleep, fell asleep in Donghae's embrace. Safe, sound and protected. Donghae. Lee Donghae.
PREVIOUS - NEXT
A/N:Here we go! This chapter is a little bit cuter than the rest? Probably the cutest one hahaha! Anyway I've been up north for the past week which meant no internet! but here I am again! Working against my writers block to finish chapter 14!
Please leave a comment and tell me whhat you think?
[ 1]-[ 2]-[ 3]-[ 4]-[ 5]- [6]-[ 7]-[ 8]-[ 9]-[ 10]-[ 11] - [12]- [13]
First day of school, first day of Donghae, no, Sungmin, stop thinking about Donghae. Donghae. Donghae's smile, the way Donghae's eyes would crinkle when he laughs, Donghae's laughter. Donghae. No, stop it god damn it. He threw one last look into the mirror, he had definitely looked better than he did right now, skin and bones, still pale and tired looking. Sungmin's hair had gotten a little longer and he hadn't bothered with dying his roots, giving him a shabby appearance. He sighed softly and took a deep breath before walking out of the apartment. He was going to see Donghae for the first time in over a month.
Slightly nervous Sungmin stood by his locker, locking and unlocking it over and over again until he heard a familiar voice saying his name. A warm, friendly, familiar voice. He smiled and turned around meeting Donghae's eyes and in that moment time stopped, he felt his heart skip a beat and he worried that his legs would give out. Donghae was smiling widely as he walked up and wrapped his arms around Sungmin, pulling him into a tight hug and all Sungmin could do was to continue smiling like a fool, leaning his chin against Donghae's shoulder, inhaling his scent if just for a short moment before the hug was over. Donghae kept a hand on Sungmin's shoulder and looked him up and down.
"My god, you've lost weight," that was the first thing Donghae said to him, causing Sungmin to blush a little, feeling embarrassed over the fact that he noticed so quickly. But all he did was nod and smile a little.
"You can't weigh more than 110 pounds," correction, 92 pounds, Sungmin didn't want to say anything; he didn't want to worry Donghae.
"I've been inside a lot," seriously Sungmin? Was that your best excuse? But Donghae didn't seem to bother as he just laughed a little before pulling him into another hug.
"I missed you," there came the butterflies, or more like bats, fluttering all around in Sungmin's stomach.
Throughout the day Donghae was close to him, whispering during class, sending notes with small messages written on them, they would talk about their summer. Apparently Donghae had been travelling around the U.S with his family and he talked about New York, Grand Canyon, Hollywood, and Sungmin listened willingly. Smiling brightly as he spoke, looking at him in awe. God how he had missed Donghae. When Donghae would ask Sungmin about his summer he would make up some fake stories or exaggerate the ones he already had. What could he say? He basically stayed inside reading, didn't talk to anyone, didn't do shit?
No he would lie, he would lie to Donghae, because he knew the truth would only hurt him. Donghae was awfully see-through, when he was disappointed it would read across his face just as clear as if he would say it out loud. Sometimes when Donghae looked at him it seemed as if there was more hidden behind his eyes, more feelings, maybe even love. But why would he be in love with Sungmin? Donghae wasn't gay, yeah sure they kissed one night but he was really drunk that night. People do stupid things when they're drunk, right?
"Sungmin... are you listening?" Donghae said, his head tilted and eyebrows raised as he looked at Sungmin with a small smile before shaking his head, laughing softly.
"ahh you're so spacey, I forgot that," his voice was so soft, like velvet, and he was so kind, caring, perfect. Perfect perfect Lee Donghae. Sungmin didn't say anything, he just looked down and smiled to himself, feeling his cheeks heat up.
The school day was coming to an end and all Sungmin could think about was how he didn't want to go home, he didn't want to be without Donghae again, scared he wouldn't be able to breathe without him. As they said good bye Donghae hugged him, holding on to his hand before slowly letting it slip through his grip, one last smile thrown over his shoulder as he waved good bye to Sungmin.
Later that night Donghae called him, as usual, and they talked until 4am. Not really talking about anything special, they never did, Donghae asked him a few questions about how Sungmin was doing, was he feeling well, did he still cut himself, difficult question where Sungmin just gave him evasive answers. Working his best to come up with explanations, he was pale because he stayed indoors, he stayed indoors because he likes it, he lost weight because he doesn't like his mother’s cooking. Stupid explanations really, but Donghae accepted them, if he believed them was a different matter.
Things were just as they used to be, except Sungmin had fallen so deeply in love with Donghae that he wasn't sure he could ever get out. This was nothing like how he felt for Kyuhyun, not one bit. He was still too shy to tell Donghae, too afraid of scaring him away, he didn't want to lose Donghae, he didn't want to lose the only person in his surroundings that he valued. What he didn't know was that Donghae had fallen just as hard, but even more scared of his feelings, his strong feelings for another boy. The most forbidden kind of love.
The remains of August and September passed quickly, the leaves had started to change color and the temperatures had started to drop a lot. Not much had happened between Sungmin and Donghae, they were both raging in love with each other but neither of them dared to admit it. Sungmin was still going through his depressions, still hurting inside. Sungmin had started seeing a therapist since school started, forced by his parents and by the school, yet he never opened up. He wouldn't let this estrange person tell him how to act and think, he also wouldn't have them knowing about his sexuality. What went on through his head was no one else’s business except his own. Maybe Donghae's a little bit.
3rd of October, 3am Sungmin was benched in the couch, staring mindlessly at the TV screen. Watching crime shows and drinking wine, the apartment felt large and cold without Yesung in it, Sungmin hated it. He much more preferred to stay at Donghae's apartment, sleeping in Donghae's bed, occasionally waking up closer to Donghae than what would be acceptable, lingering in his arms for a little while before scooting away. Not wanting Donghae to notice.
His phone started ringing and Sungmin lazily looked at the screen, Donghae, his face lit up, he knew Donghae would call him, he always called him. Except this time Donghae sounded strange, he was drunk, Sungmin could hear that, but his voice was unusually thick and raspy, a slight tone of panic in it. He wanted Sungmin to come pick him up.
"Where are you?" Sungmin said softly, trying to calm down the boy on the other end of the phone conversation.
"Uhm... I'm not sure? Fuck... Sungmin I'm sorry for calling you but I didn't know who else to call, please pick me up," Donghae sounded desperate and Sungmin was 99% sure he had been crying.
"I will if you could just tell me where you are, Donghae," he was worried now, chewing on his cheek and scratching his thumb nail against his fingers. He had to pry Donghae for an exact location for ten minutes and the second he got one he bounced off of the couch, rushing downstairs, to the car, in with the keys, hurry hurry. He still had Donghae on the phone, pressing his head against his shoulder to keep the phone in its place.
Donghae wasn't hard to miss where he sat on the curb. Alone on a dark street far from anything really, what had he been doing there? He smiled widely when Sungmin pulled up and pushed the car door open for Donghae to get in. It was almost impossible for Donghae to keep his balance; he was swaying back and forth, tripping a little and really struggling before he could get into the car, immediately leaning in and pressing his lips against Sungmin's cheek, leaving a wet stain on his skin before he leaned back with a sigh, his head falling back. Sungmin didn't say a word, he couldn't, he was speechless, he just put the car in drive and started making their way to Donghae's apartment.
"Let's go to your place," Donghae said tiredly, not looking at him and Sungmin nodded, answered a short 'okay' and made route to his own home. Donghae was drunk, really drunk. Sungmin had never seen him this wasted in all honesty and he didn't feel like asking questions about Donghae's evening, what he had done, where he had been or what he did sitting on that empty street in the middle of nowhere. He could ask that tomorrow.
Once they got inside the apartment Donghae had his hands in all the wrong places, at the same time all the right one's though. But Sungmin knew he was drunk, too drunk and he'd just regret anything in the morning. Yet he still couldn't help but enjoy Donghae's touches, even if they were only mere, hands in his, hugs, Donghae nuzzling his face against Sungmin's neck, kissing his cheeks over and over. He insisted on sleeping in the same bed at Sungmin, he didn't want to be alone he said.
"I really like you Sungmin... Too much for my own good," Donghae said as he yawned, scooting closer to Sungmin, wrapping his arms around Sungmin's small body, gently rubbing his thumb over his upper arm. It made Sungmin feel like crying because he knew that when they awoke Donghae wouldn't remember any of it, or he would pretend as if it didn't happen and all Sungmin wanted was for it to be real, he wanted this Donghae. Always.
"Same," Sungmin's voice was basically naught but a whisper, his head was resting on Donghae's chest and he felt it heave, slowly, he listened to Donghae's breathing as it grew heavier and he let his eyes fall shut. Sungmin just wanted to stay in this moment forever; it was perfect, just as perfect as Donghae. Lee Donghae. As if it couldn't get any better Donghae lightly shifted in his position and out of nowhere he pressed his lips onto Sungmin's.
Then it was as if all air disappeared from the room, he was kissing Lee Donghae, Lee Donghae's perfect soft lips against his own and he leaned into the kiss more, never wanting it to end. This time Donghae didn't pull back, he stayed still, his head tilted a little and his lips ever so slightly moving against Sungmin's, making his insides quiver and the bats in Sungmin's stomach going ballistic.
"I like kissing you," Donghae said as he parted from Sungmin's lips, only seconds passing before he kissed him again, his lips slightly parted this time and Sungmin felt his tongue against his own, slowly moving, perfect. Carefully Sungmin slid his arm down Donghae's chest, over his ribs, around his side, he pulled himself closer and Donghae didn't fight it, not one bit. Oh God, it really couldn't get any better than this, he was making out with Donghae, Lee Donghae.
Donghae tilted his head a little bit, angling the kiss and deepening it even more and Sungmin couldn't breathe, Donghae was smothering him with his lips, not in a literal sense but almost. Inside it was as if all oxygen just went away, Sungmin felt woozy, as if the entire surrounding world was spinning around them. It was delirious and delicious. Perfect in every kind of way and when Donghae eventually broke the kiss he looked into Sungmin's eyes, stared right into his soul and Sungmin felt so small. Then he laid his head back onto Donghae's chest, smiling to himself as he fell asleep, fell asleep in Donghae's embrace. Safe, sound and protected. Donghae. Lee Donghae.
PREVIOUS - NEXT
A/N:Here we go! This chapter is a little bit cuter than the rest? Probably the cutest one hahaha! Anyway I've been up north for the past week which meant no internet! but here I am again! Working against my writers block to finish chapter 14!
Please leave a comment and tell me whhat you think?