Even ghosts get tired and go home (5/?)
Chapter 5: Long nights
[ 1]-[ 2]-[ 3]-[ 4]-[ 5]- [6]-[ 7]-[ 8]-[ 9]-[ 10]-[ 11] - [12]- [13]
Sungmin grumbled a little and turned to his side, slowly opening his eyes and blinking a few times as they adjusted to the light. It took him a little while before he registered where he was and the second he did his eyes widened. He sat up straight and glanced down on his side, Donghae was lying on his stomach snoring, seemingly completely passed out. Sungmin freaked out, feeling his heart racing as he went over the night before over and over again. What had happened? Why was he here? What was he supposed to do? Gently he slid his legs over the edge of the bed, not wanting to wake up the sleeping kid next to him, hoping to sneak out before Donghae awoke, but to his own avail he felt a hand around his wrist. Shit. But he didn't turn his head, he just kept his face away from Donghae and his eyes squeezed shut.
"Don't leave," Donghae's voice was hoarse and raspy, his words causing Sungmin to sneak a peek where we was lying, completely unmoved from the first time Sungmin looked at him except for his fingers wrapped around Sungmin's wrist. Sungmin pulled his legs back up, nodding a bit even though he knew Donghae wasn't looking at him. Yet once again Sungmin found himself asking too many questions that he wanted answers to. He stared into the ceiling and swallowed down a few times, trying to get his mouth wet before he spoke.
"Why did you call me last night?" He was sitting in the bed with his hands clutched in his lap, his head tilted as chewed his lip, watching Donghae who just shrugged in reply.
"I just came to think of you I guess," that was that. Nothing complicated, nothing weird about it, he just came to think about Sungmin. But that wasn't enough.
"Why now? We haven't talked once since that time in the bathroom," and Donghae laughed lazily, shifting just a bit in his position to turn his face over the pillow so he was facing Sungmin, blinking extremely slowly.
"When you say it like that it sounds like we had sex or something in the bathroom," he chuckled again and groaned, nuzzling his face in the pillow before turning back to Sungmin.
"I don't know really... I just thought of you and decided to call you," and again he shrugged. Turning his face back into the pillow, pulling his legs up and cuddling into a fetal position. Sungmin nodded a little, he guessed that was the end of that conversation. Donghae didn't have an instant explanation and Sungmin wasn't going to pry him apart for one. He just slid back under the covers, pulling them up close to his face as he turned over, sighing a little and letting his eyes fall shut again. Maybe just a couple of more minutes.
This time he woke up from a slight ruckus in the other room, he patted the mattress next to him and noticed Donghae was missing. Rather quickly he got up, pulling his pants on and folding the cover back together to shove it under the bed before he went into the living room, awkwardly rubbing his elbow as he smiled a little to Donghae who was running around cleaning.
"Ah do you want breakfast? There's probably some toast in one of the drawers in the kitchen," but Sungmin shook his head and looked around a little.
"But coffee would be nice," Donghae smiled. Widely and sober. He had a kind of nice smile, in a weird douchy way, Sungmin found himself thinking about Donghae's smile, missing how Donghae left the room before returning to hand Sungmin a mug. Still smiling. It was a stupid smile, not in a bad way, but in a way that when Donghae smiled it made him look extremely stupid. In a weird cute way. He raised his brows, looking at Sungmin and Sungmin looked back at him, his eyebrows raised to until he realized he had yet to take the mug from Donghae's hands, a small laughter leaving his lips as he looked into the coffee.
Stop it Sungmin, you shouldn't be thinking about Lee Donghae's smile. Even if it's cute and he's cute you should not be thinking about him like that. Stop being so fucking gay, Sungmin. He took a deep breath before sipping on the coffee.
"Uhm where should I smoke?" Donghae pointed towards a door which presumably lead to the balcony, he still had that friendly smile on his face.
"Want to go for a walk later on?" Donghae asked him, eyebrows raised, face wondering. Sungmin nodded before he stepped out onto the balcony, squinting his eyes a little at the sun, he wasn't really used to the bright light just yet. On the balcony there was this small bench with cushions on it and a few fold together chairs along with a small table adorned with an ashtray. No flowers, no decorations, nothing personal. The bench squeaked a little as he sat down, leaning back against the wall as he lit up a cigarette, inhaling deeply and letting his eyes fall shut. Just a short moment to relax.
He finished the cigarette, put it out, finished the coffee, took a few deep breaths then went inside. Inside Lee Donghae's apartment. He guessed they were friends now, it sort of felt like it anyway. Still a bit weird that he was friends with the person who had been bugging him every day for 2 months.
--
They walked through the campus park in silence. Apparently Donghae had this place they should go where they could sit and hang out. Somewhere in the forest along the way.
They had rather mindless conversations as they trudged, talking about school and grades, teachers they disliked, teachers they liked. It was easy and Sungmin actually enjoyed talking to Donghae, as weird as it was it didn't feel weird hanging out with him. It didn't feel weird laughing with Lee Donghae. Donghae asked him a little bit about the cutting, just briefly, why he did it, did it really make the pain easier. But the moment he noticed Sungmin's discomfort he stopped, no more questions, he quickly changed the subject to sports. Asking Sungmin if he ever played any sports and Sungmin admitted that he did use to deal with martial arts but that he quit when he started college, there just wasn't any time for it. Something Donghae was quick to express his discontent about, talking on how it was a pity that he had to quit, how stupid school was for taking up all your private time, he just rambled. For quite some time he rambled and Sungmin listened, laughing at some parts, nodding in agreement at others.
And they reached the woods, walking for another hour or so until Donghae got extremely distracted, hardly hearing any words Sungmin said as his eyes darted all over the place, eventually grabbing Sungmin's arm and pulling him towards a different direction. Not actually explaining anything to Sungmin until they came to a spot where the trees spread apart, leaving a medium sized grass covered opening. Donghae was smiling as he walked up and sat down in the grass, splaying out on the ground and stretching his arms out. He waved his hand, urging Sungmin to join him.
And there they laid, at first they didn't say anything, they just stared into the sky, eventually Donghae lit a joint, passing it to Sungmin, under complete silence. And then another three... or four joints? Sungmin didn't keep track, he just knew he was relaxed, his limbs feeling heavy against the ground, his eyes wandering all over the blue sky, his fingers tingling and his mouth just slightly dry. Donghae asked him about Kyuhyun again, more about Kyuhyun's past, his and Heechul's relationship. There was no sign of emotions in Donghae's face. He was just staring into the clouds. The clock was ticking but for them it felt like there was no time. It was just the two of them in that meadow, no space, no time, no obligations, no nothing.
As the sun set they started marching back, once again not speaking, but this time closer than before. Donghae would occasionally bump his shoulder against Sungmin's and his hand would occasionally brush against Sungmin's. Anything to make the mood even stranger in Sungmin's eyes. They said good bye, Donghae hugged him tightly, closing his eyes, giving him one last friendly smile before they parted. Sungmin walking in a daze as he came back to the apartment to meet a Yesung sitting on the couch, newspaper in his hand with raised eyebrows. Apparently he must have gotten home during the day.
"Where have you been?" he inquired, not in an angry way, not in an accusing way. Just in a curious way.
"I went to a party last night," Sungmin answered and looked at Yesung, who still had his brow raised. Sungmin knew he looked wasted, his eyes were red and glazed and everything he did felt like it was going in slow motion. Yesung just smiled and nodded in the direction of Sungmin's bedroom, staying in his position reading the newspaper. There was a small urge in him to take care of Sungmin even though he knew he didn't have to. He would never try to tell Sungmin how to act or what to do, he would just be there to take care of him in whatever mess he'd get himself in.
--
Another day of school. Sungmin overslept, as usual, and rushed into class, took his ordinary seat rather close to the back. He nodded in Donghae's direction and smiled a little, but there was no reaction from Donghae's side. Sungmin knew he had seen him, he was looking straight at him and he just... ignored him. Oh well, maybe he just didn't notice him Sungmin shrugged and didn't give any more thought to it, not until class ended and he stood up, waiting for Donghae to collect his books before he walked up. Donghae just walked past.
Not one look, not one word, he just walked away, completely ignoring Sungmin. Leaving Sungmin staring, taken completely by shock, but still maybe Donghae just didn't see him. He rushed out, looked around, located the boy and walked up to him.
"Yah, Donghae," and Donghae looked at him, not with those usual friendly eyes, not even with that hostile glare. But with a look of complete indifference.
"What do you want?" Sungmin was rather taken by the tone of his voice, even though he wouldn't admit it, Donghae didn't sound angry or anything like that, he just sounded plain mean. Like a bully taunting you.
"I just wanted to say hi," oh God, he sounded pathetic. What made him think this was a good idea? He should just have gone back to the way they were before, he should just have ignored Donghae.
"Why?" and once again his facial expressions changed. His eyebrows pushed together, eyes skeptical, a judgmental look. That was it. He looked judgmental, sounded mean and acted bitchy.
"Nothing. I'm sorry for bothering you," Sungmin shook his head and walked away, why would he think that one weekend would all of a sudden make them friends? It was probably just like their talk in the bathroom, a onetime event, nothing to get expectations from. Sungmin was actually rather sad about it, he had liked being with Donghae, being with his friends, but would never admit it to neither himself nor anyone else for that matter. It hurt his feelings. More than he'd want it to. The day progressed in the exact same matter, they didn't speak, didn't look at each other. Donghae was blatantly ignoring him.
The second he got back home he greeted Yesung, occupied in his studies, working to get every last project in before graduation, before stepping out directly to the balcony. Pulling his phone up ready to dial Kyuhyun before the phone started vibrating in his hand. Lee Donghae. What the fuck?
"What do you want?" He sounded madder than he intended, but why would he care if Donghae got hurt.
"I just wanted to apologize for today... I didn't mean to be so testy," Donghae said with a soft voice, a predominant tone of guilt in it, he sounded genuinely sorry, and he caught Sungmin completely off guard. He wasn't able to say anything really.
"Can we just talk?" Donghae asked, with a weak voice as that of a child's, he had been crying. Sungmin heard the suffocated sobs, the thickness of his voice.
"Sure we can," and they talked. For hours on end, until the afternoon turned to evening turned to night. They talked and Sungmin smiled, he liked Donghae. Donghae was nice and sweet. But he had no idea just how much he'd come to like Donghae. This Lee Donghae.
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A/N:
YikES I know I promised to upload on Sundays and now it's Monday but I forgot the power chord to my laptop last week and I've been catsitting for my sister, pls don't scold me. anyway here's the next chapter, it's a little bit "non-eventful" or more non-dramatic but yeah! drop a comment below and make me a happy fella!
(Also I am still sorry about any grammar/spelling mistakes I still don't have a beta)