Over time, the question has shifted from that of whether emancipation to that of whether emancipation would even be necessary for happiness at this point. Would it be enough that I can say with pride "I am doing this stuff because I love it", with no feigned enthusiasm, without fear of a lie being seen through - because there would be no lie ( Read more... )

From the Scandal Club newsletter:

-FINNISH SOCIETY OF EDMONTON VAPPU PARTY: (Spring celebration) at the DCC International Hall on Saturday April 30, 2011 ( Read more... )

I'd promised them that I'd be confident about success, and things were going a lot better, but when your body physically starts revolting against reason...

"You just aren't good at lying to yourself."

The trouble is that I'm too good at lying to myself. I stopped seeing what I actually am any good at and care about. They became refugees from a ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Fate seems to make me a habit of befriending curiously interesting but socially maladjusted (or should I just say 'creepy'?) people -- or do they befriend me? Often there is a test of moral fiber in resisting the temptation of going along with what they do in order to understand their awkwardness. There is also often a lot of patience in putting ( Read more... )

Oftentimes I just feel like grabbing a walking stick and going wandering, in my imagination, anyway. So deep is this desire to walk until I find a home away from all this aimlessness, isolation, and distraction. That is my only destination -- the only place to me worth finding: a calling to home. A calling to service doesn't mean anything to me ( Read more... )

I couldn't get it up past 70 degrees even with water on the stove. Maybe Finnish hotel ones wouldn't suck. But I guess it doesn't matter to me right now -- I haven't been in one for more than two years, and though it was a REAL one last time, this still felt good.

Varhain aamulla, kun vielä oli pimeä, Jeesus nousi ja lähti ulos. Hän meni paikkaan, jossa hän sai olla yksin, ja rukoili siellä. (Mark. 1:35)

...jos minulla vain olisi sellainen paikka. Rauhallinen paikka.

A rare moment of relative quiet...but I can't decide whether to seize it for sleep or for good thinking.

A special event/day in a person's life seems only worth commemorating if it has a related significance to at least one other person.

Otherwise, like wanting to hold in special remembrance the day I left Finland two years ago, the endeavour leaves only an empty feeling, akin to that of discovering that everybody's forgotten your birthday.