(no subject)

Jan 13, 2011 23:40

I'd promised them that I'd be confident about success, and things were going a lot better, but when your body physically starts revolting against reason...

"You just aren't good at lying to yourself."

The trouble is that I'm too good at lying to myself. I stopped seeing what I actually am any good at and care about. They became refugees from a regime that took all joy away from them. It seemed so necessary to do so yet it was so unwanted. I searched so long for authenticity, but authenticity isn't meant to be a covert project.

random

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