No doubt this will generate a lot of hate, but...
... I'm so burned out I just really don't care any more.
Just read inlovewithnight's response to the whole "socially awkward misogynist man shoots women at gym" tragedy, and it made a lot of sense. At the same time, however (hey, there had to be a however, or this wouldn't be worth commenting on, right?) I felt bound to defend... I don't know what. Maybe it's as much a desperate "but I'm not like that" as a defense of my ever-more-indefensible-unconsciously-privilege-gender.
*shrug* I'm just tired of always swallowing my words.
So I posted this rambling response. Which will no doubt generate lots of hate in my direction. But hell, 'Night hates me anyways and has for years, so why not.
"... not that I can say or write anything that will bring my gender up in the eyes of this discussion, as I am straight, male, and white (and thus my perspective in such things is automatically suspect due to unconscious and unchosen privilege); however...
You're absolutely right. *shrug*
At the same time, I don't expect anything social, anymore. With job and hobbies and habits, I have little enough free time that actually coincides with other peoples' schedules that I don't expect to meet anyone interesting who's interested in return, either. And the few times I've contemplated trying to move forward I realize I apparently have nothing to offer but limited company, so... really, why bother?
Meanwhile, I have a cat.
It's not just about men wanting teh sexx, though... or at least not for me. *shrug* No doubt my opinion will be immediately discounted, and no doubt I'm different from the vast majority of men, but honestly sex isn't all that great. I find myself longing more for just company, someone I can speak honestly with and spend time with, someone who shares an interest or two and doesn't look at me like I'm some kind of freak when I say I like science fiction or reading or long-distance biking or fanfic or cooking, or any of the other solitary hobbies I've developed because of lack of connection. That's something I've rarely really found in person, and when I have it's "Hey, we haven't seen each other in months... we should do something! You know. Sometime."
At the same time, yeah, I'm somewhat picky about looks. Stop rolling your eyes and saying, "Oh, typical." I'm picky about looks in the sense that no obese bookworm is going to be willing to jump on a bike and do a 50-mile ride on a weekend. I'm picky about looks in the sense that I think athletic is beautiful. I'm picky about looks in the sense that I value physical competence and grace and wearing comfortable clothing over frippery and fancy dresses and high heels.
Jesus. That wandered further than I expected. *shrug* I don't expect a response."
Which was as much me spilling into minor rant land as anything else. *headdesk* At the same time... I find myself wondering why it is exactly that when I say I'm attracted to lean athletic women everyone nods and murmurs as though OF COURSE that's exactly what the mainstream media wants me to be. Isn't that just as offensive as saying that gays or lesbians are that way because they've been unduly influenced by the ridiculous so-called homosexual agenda? Isn't it remotely possible that I'm attracted to that because it's JUST THE WAY I AM, not because I'm being programmed by mass-market media?
Just read inlovewithnight's response to the whole "socially awkward misogynist man shoots women at gym" tragedy, and it made a lot of sense. At the same time, however (hey, there had to be a however, or this wouldn't be worth commenting on, right?) I felt bound to defend... I don't know what. Maybe it's as much a desperate "but I'm not like that" as a defense of my ever-more-indefensible-unconsciously-privilege-gender.
*shrug* I'm just tired of always swallowing my words.
So I posted this rambling response. Which will no doubt generate lots of hate in my direction. But hell, 'Night hates me anyways and has for years, so why not.
"... not that I can say or write anything that will bring my gender up in the eyes of this discussion, as I am straight, male, and white (and thus my perspective in such things is automatically suspect due to unconscious and unchosen privilege); however...
You're absolutely right. *shrug*
At the same time, I don't expect anything social, anymore. With job and hobbies and habits, I have little enough free time that actually coincides with other peoples' schedules that I don't expect to meet anyone interesting who's interested in return, either. And the few times I've contemplated trying to move forward I realize I apparently have nothing to offer but limited company, so... really, why bother?
Meanwhile, I have a cat.
It's not just about men wanting teh sexx, though... or at least not for me. *shrug* No doubt my opinion will be immediately discounted, and no doubt I'm different from the vast majority of men, but honestly sex isn't all that great. I find myself longing more for just company, someone I can speak honestly with and spend time with, someone who shares an interest or two and doesn't look at me like I'm some kind of freak when I say I like science fiction or reading or long-distance biking or fanfic or cooking, or any of the other solitary hobbies I've developed because of lack of connection. That's something I've rarely really found in person, and when I have it's "Hey, we haven't seen each other in months... we should do something! You know. Sometime."
At the same time, yeah, I'm somewhat picky about looks. Stop rolling your eyes and saying, "Oh, typical." I'm picky about looks in the sense that no obese bookworm is going to be willing to jump on a bike and do a 50-mile ride on a weekend. I'm picky about looks in the sense that I think athletic is beautiful. I'm picky about looks in the sense that I value physical competence and grace and wearing comfortable clothing over frippery and fancy dresses and high heels.
Jesus. That wandered further than I expected. *shrug* I don't expect a response."
Which was as much me spilling into minor rant land as anything else. *headdesk* At the same time... I find myself wondering why it is exactly that when I say I'm attracted to lean athletic women everyone nods and murmurs as though OF COURSE that's exactly what the mainstream media wants me to be. Isn't that just as offensive as saying that gays or lesbians are that way because they've been unduly influenced by the ridiculous so-called homosexual agenda? Isn't it remotely possible that I'm attracted to that because it's JUST THE WAY I AM, not because I'm being programmed by mass-market media?