As a friend of mine said: you only post when you need to vent
So I vent, again.
I am trying to get the ball rolling for aqcuiring the turist visa to the US. From the embassy located in Estonia that is a PAIN in the nether regions. Severe one at that. But as much as I hate the red tape, I can still deal with that: follow the instructions to the tee and all else is luck and such things.
What I disagree with inside right now the most is my feeling of self-worth.
Does it make me a bad person when I sometimes plan what to do with my granny room after she is dead (what she is not yet)?
Does it make me a bad person when I wish that my granny would just sometimes go out from the house for a longer period than half an hour?
Does it make me a bad person if I keep the whole US visa and trip planning from my ear-muffed friendess because I have this inkling of an emotion that she would not like me to go anywhere?
Does it make me a bad person if I wish for a friend who would call me up and make a suggestion by her/himself to go somewhere nice (zoo, cinema, walk in a park) without conditions like 'no popcorn in the near vicinity' or 'no windy places, please' or 'could we please stand in this spot of sun for 10 minutes before we walk to the next spot of sun and repeat the action'?
Does it make me a bad person when I tell that I feel very nervous about the visa AND the possible letting go from my work by the end of this year?
Does it make me a bad person if I worry over cats (ours and Ingrid's and Mall's) more than their human family?
I am moving to catsit today/tomorrow and I feel so torn in many directions.
Of course, on top of it all, the Balrogess sent me an email formed invitation to a party on the 25th of August. For the food I would go but the company is so stressing that I value my nerves much higher than the food.
So there. Food for thought.
I am trying to get the ball rolling for aqcuiring the turist visa to the US. From the embassy located in Estonia that is a PAIN in the nether regions. Severe one at that. But as much as I hate the red tape, I can still deal with that: follow the instructions to the tee and all else is luck and such things.
What I disagree with inside right now the most is my feeling of self-worth.
Does it make me a bad person when I sometimes plan what to do with my granny room after she is dead (what she is not yet)?
Does it make me a bad person when I wish that my granny would just sometimes go out from the house for a longer period than half an hour?
Does it make me a bad person if I keep the whole US visa and trip planning from my ear-muffed friendess because I have this inkling of an emotion that she would not like me to go anywhere?
Does it make me a bad person if I wish for a friend who would call me up and make a suggestion by her/himself to go somewhere nice (zoo, cinema, walk in a park) without conditions like 'no popcorn in the near vicinity' or 'no windy places, please' or 'could we please stand in this spot of sun for 10 minutes before we walk to the next spot of sun and repeat the action'?
Does it make me a bad person when I tell that I feel very nervous about the visa AND the possible letting go from my work by the end of this year?
Does it make me a bad person if I worry over cats (ours and Ingrid's and Mall's) more than their human family?
I am moving to catsit today/tomorrow and I feel so torn in many directions.
Of course, on top of it all, the Balrogess sent me an email formed invitation to a party on the 25th of August. For the food I would go but the company is so stressing that I value my nerves much higher than the food.
So there. Food for thought.