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life 101
Ht hum..Hut um is thing on ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Sometimes I wish I never spoke to anyone. I just had a conversation with some guy I work with outside while smoking a cigarette. And he asked me if my husband had ever found a bartending job. He meant here in Tulsa. For you see there was a time when I was so broken in the beginning that I was begging Millian to move here and thus keeping my ( Read more... ) -
No I Didn’t!
You will never believe what I did on my 2pm break…I watched two huge semi trucks attempt to back into the loading dock side by side. It was cool, they only slammed into each other once and it was loud. It would have been a more triumphant moment for all of woman kind, but it was the lady truck driver that backed her purple truck up into the other ( Read more... ) -
Update
Today it seems like my brain is forcing the big picture. All of my reoccurring issues have fluttered to the surface then died back down all morning. I miss Millian, I want to be held and I am pissed off about it. I hate when there is an emotional need I need to fulfill that I am supposed to be ignoring. It’s hard-- my emotions are the loudest ( Read more... ) -
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
My bestest friend ever sent me the bestest care package ever ( Read more... ) -
Wee this is fun!
Bonus! Up swing…after returning to work and being social, my depressive funk seems to have subsided. I won’t go as far as to say I feel good, but I will say I feel like I am able enough to pretend I am wonderful, and that’s all that is really necessary for work ( Read more... ) -
Crying guts on the floor…
I’m so sad my guts jumped out of my body and threw there own little fit on the floor. I have no idea if any of you can relate to this feeling but I am sure it is not an isolated incident. The mutiny of my organs is actually quite common recently. They are pissed because they say they refuse to live in such a depressed body ( Read more... ) -
So essentially it was the weekend from hell!
Friday night I get home, go to the pool and this obnoxious woman who calls herself Ms. Mary is teaching all of the children in the entire complex how to swim. So I move to the smaller pool, and the residents of the south side of the complex are having what appears to be a family reunion in the pool. The small pool’s capacity is 25 and there were ( Read more... ) -
So it has been nine months...
So today I am aware enough of what’s going on to wonder how I am going to get out of this mess. The fog seems to have lifted and I am wondering if Dorothy can send me a tornado so I can not be in Oklahoma anymore ( Read more... ) -
I do not think about the things I do not think about...
I picked up this interesting habit from my mother about not thinking about those things I don’t want to think about. It’s really kind of awful. I simply refuse to think about these things. For the longest time I refused to think about my weight and I pushed it so far out of my mind that it rarely entered the mind of the people around me. In ( Read more... )