A matter of worth
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“I’m not worth it.”
They study bond magic together; silly kids in love. For once, Blaise ignores his mother’s warnings. He thinks his mother must have fallen in love in the wrong sort of way because between Blaise and Malfoy there is nothing shallow or temporary or cold. Love doesn’t mean abandonment or death or pain. It’s ridiculously beautiful and it makes Blaise blush and Draco stutter and when they’re together they only want to know how to stay together forever. It melts away the annoyance Blaise had for Draco during first year when the esteemed Malfoy was obsessing over Potter and it melts away the annoyance Draco had for Blaise during first year when Blaise refused to participate in his circle of friends. In second year, they study bond magic together and foolishly bind each other. By fourth, they learn to utilize the bond to share selective thoughts and wishes and leave class urgently together, Draco dismissing Crabbe and Goyle with a flick of his wrist.
“I wasn’t worth it then, I’m not worth it now.”
Draco is beautiful white limbs, flawless perfect. Blaise can will does spend hours admiring the beautiful creature underneath him and, not for the first time, wonders if there’s a bit of Veela in the Malfoy blood (or Black?). His hair is so gold it’s silver and his eyes are shut, shut, shut when they should be open open open. Once those eyes shut, Blaise goes blind; Draco’s sinful mouth can spew out elaborate stories to Blaise, but those blue eyes always speak honestly to Blaise. Hold me, they say. Kiss me. Yes. There. Oh, harder. Rougher. Deeper. Right. There. love you love you love you love you l o v e y o u B L A I S E. And if Draco should make a huge fuss and pushes Blaise away in aftermath, Blaise also knows that Draco’s body doesn’t lie either.
“I’m getting married.”
Times get rough and Blaise, ever the romantic thinks that their love will persevere and strengthen. Instead Draco weakens and crumbles and Blaise finds himself frequently pulling Draco closer and closer and wishing that he couldn’t hear those dark thoughts that cross Draco’s mind. Blaise can act as a rock; it’s something he was born to do. There is no hesitation when Draco abruptly enters his room during summer break. He wraps him in his arms and whispers soft lullabies his mother would sing to him after a particularly nasty nightmare. The next day Draco is gone and Lucious Malfoy has been sent to Azkaban.
“Her name is Astoria Greengrass.”
Blaise is a blubbering mess; sobbing and clutching at his head at the sheer emptiness and why why why why why why. His mother tends to him. Aurelie Zabini knows the aftereffects of broken bonds and vows quite well; physically Blaise will push past the nausea and the shortness of breath and the arrhythmia. Mentally, he may never recover.
“We won’t have a bond. That is, Astoria and I won’t have a bond.”
When they meet in Hogwarts Blaise is cold to Draco and Draco is too busy to care anymore. His mother may have been right about the whole love affair.
“I never properly said goodbye, did I?”
Blaise spends seventh year at Durmstrang as war rages on.
“Well. Goodbye. Then. Blaise.”
The war ends.
“*laugh* I don’t think it matters anymore.”
Spoiled as he is outside of bed, Draco is ten times worse in bed, silent except for constant yesyesyesyes of his body movements and expects Blaise to do all the work .