(no subject)
so the update about the weekend this memorable weekend since its finally over and all...
lets just say friday was probably the most scared i've been in a while. we pre-gamed in my dorm room for nick's b-day celebration. and then went off to platinum to dance the night away. lets just say justin had a little too much to drink and he was all staring at nothing and when i would smack his face, he wouldn't respond. i was scared shitless and probably was the only calm one that was almost-sober... so i took care of the drunk guy. i haven't done that since caitlin back in like sophomore year. whoa. but this time was scarier and definitely more intense and dramatic. its crazy how like just instinctual all that can be. its like i went into mom mode and needed to just make everything better. he keeps saying that hes been a jerk to me in the past and has apologized for being an ass, but i don't see it as that at all. yea i may not have felt completely accepted by him or his mom for that matter, but i guess its hard to accept when you're unsure of alterior motives, or when you see someone who you're close to gettin so affected by the new person. no matter what has happened, i will care. no matter what will happen, i still will care. like i said im glad this friday night happened. and and justin bonded, he told me a lot of stuff that hes kept in i guess for a while, even though he may have not been aware of it at the time (or still may not know or remember), i still know and he told me. that has to count for something. it gave us a chance for a new beginning, if you will, even though i was oblivious to the fact that one was needed. new beginnings are always a good thing. a clean slate, a tabula rasa. where everything that happened is in the past and everything that will happen is what counts. friday although dramatic, scary, and not as much fun as i hoped it would be to end my week was a good night and also as i said before it was a good experience that i wouldn't trade for anything else.
saturday was another story... Score! i thought i would have forgotten everything, but holy begeesus, its friggin second nature, ingrained into my skull for all eternity... greeting people when they walk in, name game, high fives, b-ball shots, score cards, enthusiasm, and smiles all around. yaay score! although a lot of the kids didn't remember who i was even though i remembered them. and that made me sad. saturday night was chill, starbucks how it used to be (sorta) but then icky went to the hospital, and yet again, me doing the comforting and taking care of... well at least on the way there, not liek i did much. i knew it could't have been that serious, but i was still scared outta my mind. i cant imagine how it feels like to have no clue as to waht the situation might be, just waiting for some answer to calm down, get a glimmer of hope, to know the truth. its scary that experiencing that type of uncertainty is bound to happen in life. i just dont want it to happen anytime soon.
so its been a lesson learning weekend. i didn't get to catch up on sleep, nor did i do much studying (or any for that matter), but its those important life lessons that i got to learn, and i can't really complain about that can i? its what ive been waiting for.
lets just say friday was probably the most scared i've been in a while. we pre-gamed in my dorm room for nick's b-day celebration. and then went off to platinum to dance the night away. lets just say justin had a little too much to drink and he was all staring at nothing and when i would smack his face, he wouldn't respond. i was scared shitless and probably was the only calm one that was almost-sober... so i took care of the drunk guy. i haven't done that since caitlin back in like sophomore year. whoa. but this time was scarier and definitely more intense and dramatic. its crazy how like just instinctual all that can be. its like i went into mom mode and needed to just make everything better. he keeps saying that hes been a jerk to me in the past and has apologized for being an ass, but i don't see it as that at all. yea i may not have felt completely accepted by him or his mom for that matter, but i guess its hard to accept when you're unsure of alterior motives, or when you see someone who you're close to gettin so affected by the new person. no matter what has happened, i will care. no matter what will happen, i still will care. like i said im glad this friday night happened. and and justin bonded, he told me a lot of stuff that hes kept in i guess for a while, even though he may have not been aware of it at the time (or still may not know or remember), i still know and he told me. that has to count for something. it gave us a chance for a new beginning, if you will, even though i was oblivious to the fact that one was needed. new beginnings are always a good thing. a clean slate, a tabula rasa. where everything that happened is in the past and everything that will happen is what counts. friday although dramatic, scary, and not as much fun as i hoped it would be to end my week was a good night and also as i said before it was a good experience that i wouldn't trade for anything else.
saturday was another story... Score! i thought i would have forgotten everything, but holy begeesus, its friggin second nature, ingrained into my skull for all eternity... greeting people when they walk in, name game, high fives, b-ball shots, score cards, enthusiasm, and smiles all around. yaay score! although a lot of the kids didn't remember who i was even though i remembered them. and that made me sad. saturday night was chill, starbucks how it used to be (sorta) but then icky went to the hospital, and yet again, me doing the comforting and taking care of... well at least on the way there, not liek i did much. i knew it could't have been that serious, but i was still scared outta my mind. i cant imagine how it feels like to have no clue as to waht the situation might be, just waiting for some answer to calm down, get a glimmer of hope, to know the truth. its scary that experiencing that type of uncertainty is bound to happen in life. i just dont want it to happen anytime soon.
so its been a lesson learning weekend. i didn't get to catch up on sleep, nor did i do much studying (or any for that matter), but its those important life lessons that i got to learn, and i can't really complain about that can i? its what ive been waiting for.