(no subject)
yahh. havent typed much in here lately. schools going good so far.. im actually doing homework and stuff. its kinda different but yeah. hammond sucks. i cant wait to go back to kenner for good. theres so many thigns i like about being here but everything i really love is back home. me and roger are great i guess.. been kinda rocky lately but i think things are gonna get better. hes a great guy and id hate to lose him but yeah. i know hes not going anywhere. i just get really nervous when he gets angry or pissed or aggervated with me. it sucks knowing that you would do everything possible just to make one single person happy, and you cant even do that half the time.. and seeing him get all upset just breaks my heart every time because id do whatever i could just to make him happy. knowing i cant always do that is sometimes like a kick in the butt. sometimes i dont even feel like we are in love anymore. i hate that feeling. sometimes i feel like hes only with me because he doesnt want to hurt me but then other times its like so wonderful.. like completely amazing. i guess maybe its just because our relationship isnt new and exciting anymore but id love to just go back to the days when he would tell me he loves me and hes happy to be with me and just like.. hold my hand because i was standing next to him or drive from georgia to hammond just to suprise me. i guess i blew it when i made him feel like i didnt appreciate it as much as i should have. i mean i appreciate everything hes done for me and i tell him that but sometimes i guess maybe he just doesnt believe me or something. i dont know. i just dont know any ways to prove to him how much i really do appreciate everything and how happy i am that hes in my life. im just not the type to come up with things like that. i hope everything works out. i really dont want anything bad to happen. oh well.. i guess whatever happens will happen.
anyway, he did drive up here today.. not sure if its because i asked him a few times or if he was planning on doing it anyway. im glad hes here though. me him and ashlie are gonna watch a movie.. probably the forgotten or something. id love to watch a scary or freaky movie and just cuddle with roger but im not sure if that movie is really scary. kbye
anyway, he did drive up here today.. not sure if its because i asked him a few times or if he was planning on doing it anyway. im glad hes here though. me him and ashlie are gonna watch a movie.. probably the forgotten or something. id love to watch a scary or freaky movie and just cuddle with roger but im not sure if that movie is really scary. kbye