Round 16: So shut up boy
Title: So shut up boy
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: miss A
Pairing: Gen, Jia-centric
Summary: Jia takes umbrage.
Author's Note: Inspired by these thoughtless words . Immeasurable thanks to the hardworking members of my team - you have been amazing, and I couldn’t have done this without you.
Prompt Used: 2PM - Without U (bits and pieces of the lyrics, but primarily this supplementary prompt)
“Suzy needs to lose weight first!”
At first, Jia thinks it’s one of those phrases, one of those strings of Korean words that mean fourteen different things at once. It happens a lot - she’ll hear something and take it literally until someone explains it’s a proverb or a pun. She’s learned to just roll with it, to laugh when others laugh and frown thoughtfully when it seems right, and she truly thinks, for one pleasantly ignorant moment, that there’s another meaning to the words. Because no one would say that about their sweet, hardworking maknae, and if they were assholish enough to go there, they definitely wouldn’t say it on national radio.
Then beside her, Fei stiffens, dancer-straight posture going rigid, while across the console Kan Miyeon sucks in an affronted breath, and Jia knows she heard it perfectly the first time, and it turns out Leeteuk is just that much of an asshole.
Jia takes a deep breath of her own, and ruthlessly represses the urge to punch him in the face.
After a shocked beat, Fei relaxes, a careful smile settling on her lips. “Is that so?” she replies, classy, noncommittal, every inch the leader Leeteuk most certainly is not.
“You go too far,” Miyeon adds, almost vibrating with censure.
Jia says nothing, not trusting herself to speak, and seethes all the while, bouncing her legs, scratching at her jeans, feeling the rage boiling just beneath her skin.
Fei doesn’t look at her, doesn’t look away from Leeteuk, keeping a cool, assessing gaze trained on his face, but her hand moves under the console and cool fingers thread through Jia’s own. A quick squeeze - code for I know, not here, not now - and then her hand retreats, like the insult never happened, like Jia never needed the touch.
It happened though, it really happened, and Jia still wants to punch Leeteuk in the face.
--
“Asshole!” Jia shouts when they’re free of the studio, after they’ve navigated out the building, stomped to their van and buckled themselves in. “Prick! Arrogant, insufferable dick!” She takes a breath and switches to Mandarin. “Bloated black-hearted pig!”
Fei winces and catches the eye of their startled driver in the rear-view mirror. “Sorry.” She reaches over and pushes on the back of Jia’s head, forcing her into a bow. “Just letting off some steam.”
The driver raises a hand in acknowledgement but doesn’t turn around, shuffling forward in his seat and guiding the van away from the curb.
Jia suspects she’s being unreasonable, but she’s too angry to care.
“You heard him, right?” she hisses, still in Mandarin, rounding on Fei and glaring at her with all the venom she wanted to show Leeteuk. “You heard him say that about our baby, about Suzy!” Her tongue catches on the roof of her mouth, words coming more thickly like they always do when she’s angry, but she’s running on righteous fury now and the little details don’t matter. “He really said it, right?”
Fei lets out a soft breath and reaches for Jia’s hand again, clasping it between both of hers and glancing out the window. It must have rained while they were inside - the streets are damp and shiny, reflecting the lights from high above, and Jia turns away from the flashes, frowning at her lap instead. After a moment Fei turns back inside.
“Yes,” she says, and while she’s as calm as before there’s an edge to her voice that Jia’s not all that familiar with. “I heard him, and I know what he implied. But being angry and shouting like this is not going to fix anything.” She bounces their hands on her knee, then brings Jia’s hand to her cheek. “All we can do is be there for Suzy, as a family. All we can do is show her that she’s perfect in our eyes.”
Jia can’t help a bark of laughter, but at least it’s not quite as bitter as she feels. “Like that’s enough.”
“It’ll have to be,” Fei replies, dropping their hands. “We’re not trainees any more, and to be honest, it could have been worse.”
She’s right, but it doesn’t make it sting any less. “He’s a dick,” Jia gripes.
“Yes,” Fei agrees calmly, a genuine smile touching her lips. “Maybe he can have one grafted to his forehead the next time he visits the surgeon for a touch-up.”
Jia’s laughter this time is anything but bitter, and she doesn’t stop laughing until they reach the dorm.
--
It’s inevitable that Suzy would have heard about it by the time they see her next, and due to her busy Dream High schedule they don’t catch up until late the following evening. Jia’s frying some rice for dinner while Min does stretches on the floor, a fashion magazine open in front of her. Fei’s at the JYPE building for a regular management meeting, and Jia’s had her ear pricked for the beep of the door for the past hour at least.
She’s just cracked in an egg when the click comes from the foyer and she almost drops her wooden spoon. Min angles a curious look at her before kicking the magazine aside and stretching both legs out in front. “It’s just Suzy,” she says lazily, sliding her fingers down her legs until her hands are holding her toes. She rests her head on her knees. “Must’ve finally finished filming.”
“I’m home!” Suzy calls from the front room, stepping out of her boots and hanging her coat on the rack. She comes into the kitchen still shedding her scarf, a few flakes of snow clinging stubbornly to her curls. Her eyes are bright and her cheeks are red and Jia can’t tell if she’s been sobbing all evening or if she’s just cold. She bites her lip to stop herself from asking about the interview, stabbing the contents of the wok with unnecessary force.
“Welcome back,” Min says, voice muffled by her own legs. She holds the position a moment longer then straightens with a sigh, settling into a cross-legged position. “How was today’s shoot?”
“Busy!” Suzy drapes her scarf over the back of a chair before slumping into the one beside it with a sigh of relief. “We had to do so many takes of this one scene, Taecyeon oppa broke a door-”
“Beastdol,” Min tsks, a little proudly.
“-and Soohyun oppa knocked a prop off his desk and couldn’t find it and we all had to look for it and it delayed filming by ages.” Suzy moves her placemat aside and lets her head drop to the table with a thunk. “I’m so tired.”
Jia switches off the gas and reaches for the bowls. “Well, don’t go to sleep just yet. You should have some dinner first.”
Suzy yawns into her elbow. “Actually I had some bread before I left. Wooyoung oppa and I just took some from the set.” She sits back up and gives Jia a sleepy smile. “Thanks anyway, but I might just have a shower and go to bed.” Stifling another yawn, she pushes her chair back and trudges off to the bathroom, swinging her arms around her torso and cracking her neck.
Jia watches her go, then turns to give Min a worried look. “Do you think she really had something to eat? Maybe she’s just saying that because of the interview - it’s been all over the news sites.”
Min rolls gracefully to her feet and makes a beeline for the fridge, pulling out a can of fruit juice. “I seriously doubt she’s skipping meals, if that’s what you mean.” Popping the tab on the can, she snatches a few gulps then rubs the back of her hand inelegantly across her mouth. “She’s not like that.”
“How do you know?” Jia presses, tapping thoughtfully on her chin with the still-sticky spoon. “She’s already had to deal with all those nasty comments about her acting.”
Min leans back on the counter, resting her can on the sink. “She’s a big girl.”
“Lee Minyoung!”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Min straightens, looking offended. “I just meant you don’t need to baby her. We’re idols now, you know?”
Jia gnaws on the end of the spoon. She’s put too much salt in the rice. “Still…”
“It’ll be okay.” Min rummages in the cutlery drawer for some chopsticks. “We’ve got our own schedules anyway. You can’t be with her twenty-four seven.”
Jia narrows her eyes. “I can’t,” she says slowly. “But others can.” She thrusts a bowl at Min and drops the wooden spoon in the wok. “You serve dinner, I have to contact a couple of our favourite sunbaes.”
Min just shakes her head and takes another swig of her juice, before wandering over and peering into the wok. “Are there mushrooms in here? You know I hate mushrooms.”
Jia’s too busy typing a message to reply.
--
“So let me get this straight,” Taecyeon says the next morning, face almost obscured by the combination of his high-collared fleece jacket, scarf in a clashing plaid pattern and the black knit beanie pulled down over his forehead and ears. “You want me to make sure Suzy’s eating, but not too much in case it’s comfort food, and not too little, in case she’s taking the interview to heart?”
Jia nods, pink earmuffs almost falling off her head. “That’s about right.”
Taecyeon brings his gloved hands to his face and blows on them, jogging on the spot at the same time. “Jia, I want to help, but some days I’m lucky to get a bathroom break. It’s going to be hard to watch her the whole time.”
“No, I’ve already thought of that.” Jia points behind him to 2PM’s van, where Wooyoung is still sitting with his headphones in. “You’ll have backup.”
Taecyeon turns to look at his bandmate and Wooyoung glances up instantly. He gives Taecyeon a questioning look, and when Taecyeon flips his hand at him Wooyoung slides out of the van, bumping the door shut with his hip and coming to join them.
He tucks his headphones into his pocket. “What?”
Taecyeon jerks his head at Wooyoung. “This guy notices everything. You probably won’t even need me.”
Jia turns hopeful eyes on Wooyoung. “It will mean a lot, thank you for helping out!”
Wooyoung takes a step back and looks suspiciously between the two of them. “What do you want from me?”
“My chingu,” says Jia sweetly, moving closer to Wooyoung and giving him a big smile, “do you by any chance remember what Suzy ate yesterday?”
She’s never seen Wooyoung perturbed, or even fazed, and she’s known him by sight for years, but she swears his jaw drops in surprise at her question. The moment is fleeting though, and his mouth closes with a barely-audible click, and then his brow is furrowing in thought as he thinks back to the previous day.
“Breakfast I wasn’t on set, but we had fruit for a morning snack and kimbap for lunch, and I know she ate three pieces of that because she shared with Jieun.” He starts marking off the meals with his fingers. “And then another break she had a hot chocolate with half milk-”
“So detailed,” Taecyeon says, clapping him on the shoulder like a proud parent.
Wooyoung shakes off his hand. “-and then we ate all the prop bread before we left.” Recitation finished, he drops his hand and gives Jia a sharp look. “Is this about Leeteuk’s comments?”
Surprised, Jia nods. She hadn’t expected him to be so astute.
Taecyeon tugs down his scarf and she can see his lips are pressed together in annoyance. “He shouldn’t have said that.”
“I know,” she retorts hotly. “I was there.”
Wooyoung wraps his arms around himself and casts a longing look in the direction of the van. “Stuff like that comes with the job. She’s handled herself well the whole time.” He glances back at Jia. “I’m not worried about her because I think she’s taken it on the chin, but if you want, I’ll check on her when I can.” Apparently done, he turns and wanders back to the van.
Taecyeon tsks fondly after him, then turns to Jia with a grin. “Looks like we’ve got your back. I’ll text you if anything goes on.” He holds up a fist. “Okay?”
Jia bumps it with her own and feels a weight lift off her shoulders. “Thank you. Both of you.”
Taecyeon pushes his scarf back up. “Man, I feel like a secret agent. I might send my messages in code!”
“Please don’t,” Jia replies flatly, but he just claps his hands over his ears and scampers off to the van, loudly humming the Bond theme.
--
Time seems to pass in a blur of practices, performances and interviews, the three of them appearing without Suzy more often than not. Jia tries to have something either cooking or waiting in the fridge whenever Suzy gets home, and the little free time she does have is spent either searching for new recipes to expand her limited repertoire or checking her phone for updates from Taecyeon or Wooyoung.
Surprisingly it’s Wooyoung who’s the most consistent about staying in contact, periodically sending APPLE or BREAD throughout the day, while Taecyeon sends infrequent and entirely too long-winded messages about the weather, Jinyoung’s acting and diatribes blaming the lack of heating on set for his forthcoming and untimely demise, throwing in a vague reference to Suzy’s meals at the end.
Min glances over Jia’s shoulder when she’s reading Wooyoung’s update of TEA and frowns at the phone. “Why is Wooyoung oppa texting you about drinks?”
Jin quickly goes through a mental catalogue of excuses and decides that the truth is probably the best option. “I’m making sure our maknae is eating well.”
“By getting our sunbae to spy on her?” Min crosses her arms and nods at the ceiling. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. We can’t be on set but they can.” She drops her chin and looks at Jia. “That doesn’t really explain why, though.”
“Because of Leeteuk!” Not for the first time Jia wishes for a dartboard with his face. She could pull it out and gesticulate at it in moments like these. “And what he said!”
Min walks around her and heads to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and resting it on her hip. “That was a while ago,” she muses, dark eyes narrowed on Jia’s face. “Why are you still worked up about it? It’s not the first time any of us have been criticised, and I know it won’t be the last.” She unscrews the lid but doesn’t drink, just turns the cap over and over in her hand. “Shouldn’t it be something we leave up to Suzy, or if anyone, have Fei Fei look into it?”
Jia flips her phone shut and tucks it irritably into her jeans. “Is there something wrong with worrying about a bandmate?”
Min just looks at her. “No, of course not. Just…don’t go looking for something that isn’t there.”
“I’m just worried,” Jia repeats, but when Min just nods and goes to play the XBOX, she’s left to wonder if she’s not making too much of things.
--
She wonders more as Dream High goes on, wonders and worries even when she knows she shouldn’t. She checks her phone more frequently during the day, skimming the web for news bites about the drama or their group, and while Suzy is mentioned favourably more often than not, Jia still can’t shake her lingering concern.
She’s sitting in their dressing room after a Star King shoot and scrolling the results of a Twitter search with a determined expression when Fei slides onto the bench beside her. Her hair brushes Jia’s arm as she glances down at the screen.
“Do you search all of our names, or is Suzy special?”
Jia sighs and closes the phone, resting it on her lap. She pulls her feet up and settles cross-legged on the bench before turning to look at Fei. “What do you miss the most?”
Fei raises her eyebrows in question, shifting on the bench to mirror Jia’s pose. “What do you mean?”
“From before this.” Jia indicates the dressing room, unzipped makeup cases jostling water bottles that fight for space on the counter with tissues, jewellery and food. There are racks of clothes in every corner and bags of all shapes and sizes slung over chairs, piled on the floor. Voices sound in the corridor and move past, then another conversation passes from the opposite direction. They’re the only ones in the dressing room right now, but they’re not really alone.
“I know what you miss.” Fei’s smile is understanding.
Jia plays with her phone, opening and closing it so that the wallpaper of her family blinks in and out of view. “Yeah.”
“You’re a good sister.”
Her phone vibrates and she flips it open.
BREAD.
Her smile is self-deprecating when she slides her phone into her pocket. “Not as good as you.”
Fei lifts one shoulder in an elegant shrug. “Someone has to keep you in line.”
“Hey!”
As distractions go, it’s a good one, and Jia doesn’t worry for the rest of the night.
--
Jia carefully doesn’t think about the Suzy situation aside from the regular update texts and her own observations at home until it’s time for Dream High to wrap up shooting. She and Fei score cameos in the final episode and while she’s thrilled at being part of the show she’s also glad for the chance to see Suzy in her working environment, something none of them have been able to do.
She thinks that might be part of the reason she’s been so concerned - the fact that their maknae, their baby, has had to deal with this alone. Suzy’s been with them the shortest time but there’s something about her that lowers Jia’s defences, something that pulls protective, sisterly feelings from her like no one else can. Jia’s older than both Min and Suzy, but where Min is all sharp angles and hard edges from years on her own, years overseas, Suzy still has an air of innocence that Jia wants to preserve.
Maybe it’s selfish of her, but family has always come before anything else, and since this is the family Jia has chosen, she wants to keep it happy and safe.
She’s torn from her thoughts by a call to start blocking the scene, and she practises her one line a few times then moves through the simple choreography with a handful of other extras. They’re gearing up to do the shoot when Suzy darts through the crowd to greet her, running over with a dazzling grin and throwing her arms around Jia’s waist.
“Unnie! You’re here!”
Jia hugs back, pulling away after a moment and tapping Suzy on the nose. “I’m making my drama debut today, how do I look?” She spreads her arms wide and twirls, Suzy giggling at her police outfit and too-big hat.
“Almost as good as me,” Suzy says, dipping into a curtsy. “And you’ll be fine.” She makes a fist and punches the air. “Jia attack!”
“Fighting,” Jia agrees, mimicking the punch, and as they exchange grins again she does feel herself relaxing.
Fei appears beside them, sophisticated in a business suit. “What’s happening?”
Suzy claps. “Wow, unnie looks good!”
Jia reaches over and tugs at Fei’s fitted jacket. “How did you get the good outfit?”
Fei lightly smacks her hand. “Seniority.” She angles her neck and peers over the crowd. “What scene are we shooting next?”
The extras around them fall silent as the director strides over to their group. “Suzy, I’ll need you upstairs.” He leaves without waiting for a response, and Suzy bows quickly before following.
“Good luck!” she calls over her shoulder, and then she’s swallowed by the crowd.
Jia watches her disappear and deflates. “Why do I feel like a trainee all over again?”
Fei chuckles and moves behind her to massage her shoulders. “Because, strange as it seems, she’s our sunbae right now.” She lightly pummels her arm. “All we can do is hope to keep up.”
Even under Fei’s ministrations Jia still feels a little tense. “Let’s go watch the scene filming,” she blurts out, pulling off her cap and tucking it under her arm. “I want to see what it’s like.”
Fei just smiles, indulgent. “Yes, let’s.”
--
Jia’s watched the previous episodes of the drama as they’ve aired - not always at the broadcast time, but the next day whenever she can. She, like everyone else, has been able to track Suzy’s progress, from the stilted awkwardness at the beginning to a more natural Go Hyemi. She’s too biased to agree with the criticism Suzy received in the first weeks, especially since she’d watched her practice scenes with Fei until early in the morning, but even she has to admit Suzy wasn’t the most convincing of actresses when the drama began.
The scene this time is short, just a quick cut of a smile and a look, so Jia and Fei position themselves out of the way but close enough to hear the director’s voice.
“-and then past here and down, okay?” He waits for understanding this time, and Suzy nods.
“Got it.” She steps out into the frame, crossing to an X marked on the pavement by masking tape. She takes a deep, calming breath, and then something changes. She relaxes in front of the camera, more comfortable than last week, and much better than the week before that.
As Jia watches, Suzy changes from their maknae, from her little sister, and takes on bits and pieces of Go Hyemi.
Suzy turns carefully, naturally, and looks, just as the director told her to, glancing out of the frame at nothing Jia can see. And then she smiles, slow and brilliant, and suddenly Jia knows that the Suzy she’s seeing now is a lot more grown up than Jia has given her credit for. She doesn’t need to be coddled, and she certainly doesn’t need anyone to check that she’s eating right, or at all.
Chagrined, Jia deflates a little, unsurprised to find a warm arm settling over her shoulders a second later.
“She improved so much,” Fei murmurs, tilting her head until it knocks gently against Jia’s. “Do you mind if she becomes the biggest star from miss A?”
Jia grins and bumps her head back. “What, you think I’m jealous? Please, I’ll always be the hair.”
“Cut!” calls the director, and Suzy skips over to where they are.
“How did I do?” she asks, eyes hopeful.
“You don’t need to change a thing,” says Jia, and opens her arms for a hug.
--
“You what?” Suzy gasps, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle laughter after the dance sequence has been filmed.
Jia winces and tugs on an earlobe. “It’s not funny, okay?”
Suzy’s wide-eyed with surprise, still pressing her hand to her mouth. A giggle escapes and she coughs to cover it up.
Drawn by the noise, Wooyoung drifts over, a bottle of water in one hand. “What’s the joke?”
Suzy straightens and drops her hand. “Oppa-I, just -” She can’t finish and starts giggling again.
Wooyoung turns to Jia and raises an eyebrow.
Jia runs an embarrassed hand through her hair. “I may have admitted to being concerned about what she’s been eating.”
Wooyoung nods and takes a sip of his water. “Does that mean I can stop texting you now?”
Suzy claps delightedly, looking between the two.
Jia tugs her police cap down over her face. “Yes, thanks for your help.”
Wooyoung just nods again and wanders off.
Suzy watches him go, then turns back to Jia, eyes bright. “Really, unnie? You really kept tabs on me?”
“Of course.” Jia scuffs her heel on the pavement. “After those comments from the radio show, I just…I was worried. I didn’t want you to take them to heart.”
Suzy reaches out and winds an arm around Jia’s elbow, tugging her into motion and directing her to a bench. Pulling them both down, she lets go and stretches her legs out. “It did hurt,” she admits after a moment. “But people have been saying that I’m big and untalented, things like that, the whole time.” She smiles a bit sadly, and Jia’s temper threatens to rise again. “It was just worse because…well, it’s Leeteuk oppa, you know? I had Super Junior posters on my wall when I was twelve.”
Jia imagines Jerry Yan announcing on public radio that she needed to lose weight and winces in agreement, wondering distantly also where her F4 posters disappeared to.
Suzy turns to look at her, and in the fading light of the setting sun she really does look older, more mature. “But now people have posters of me, and they’re looking up to me. I don’t want to let them down. So I just tried to stay strong.”
Jia blinks back the sting of proud tears and relaxes fully at last. “Don’t change,” she says, just like before. “Don’t change a thing.”
“Everyone changes,” Suzy replies, wise beyond her years, then ruins the image by sticking her tongue out. “But I think it’s okay, as long as we change for the better.”
“Sure thing, Miss Philosophical.” Jia pokes her side and Suzy jumps back with a grin.
“Unnie,” she says, face clearing. “Can you make fried rice tonight? We’ve had so many long nights and your cooking is the best.”
Jia jumps up and brushes her pants off before extending an arm to Suzy. “I think I can manage that.”
Suzy takes her hand and stands, twining their fingers together. “Yay! And put lots of mushrooms in it, please!”
“Deal,” Jia replies, and figures she can deal with Min’s mushroom-related protests when they come.
Suzy keeps hold of Jia’s hand as they walk back to the set, and if anyone notices them swinging their hands like a couple of kids, no one says a thing.
Poll Round 16: So shut up boy
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: miss A
Pairing: Gen, Jia-centric
Summary: Jia takes umbrage.
Author's Note: Inspired by these thoughtless words . Immeasurable thanks to the hardworking members of my team - you have been amazing, and I couldn’t have done this without you.
Prompt Used: 2PM - Without U (bits and pieces of the lyrics, but primarily this supplementary prompt)
“Suzy needs to lose weight first!”
At first, Jia thinks it’s one of those phrases, one of those strings of Korean words that mean fourteen different things at once. It happens a lot - she’ll hear something and take it literally until someone explains it’s a proverb or a pun. She’s learned to just roll with it, to laugh when others laugh and frown thoughtfully when it seems right, and she truly thinks, for one pleasantly ignorant moment, that there’s another meaning to the words. Because no one would say that about their sweet, hardworking maknae, and if they were assholish enough to go there, they definitely wouldn’t say it on national radio.
Then beside her, Fei stiffens, dancer-straight posture going rigid, while across the console Kan Miyeon sucks in an affronted breath, and Jia knows she heard it perfectly the first time, and it turns out Leeteuk is just that much of an asshole.
Jia takes a deep breath of her own, and ruthlessly represses the urge to punch him in the face.
After a shocked beat, Fei relaxes, a careful smile settling on her lips. “Is that so?” she replies, classy, noncommittal, every inch the leader Leeteuk most certainly is not.
“You go too far,” Miyeon adds, almost vibrating with censure.
Jia says nothing, not trusting herself to speak, and seethes all the while, bouncing her legs, scratching at her jeans, feeling the rage boiling just beneath her skin.
Fei doesn’t look at her, doesn’t look away from Leeteuk, keeping a cool, assessing gaze trained on his face, but her hand moves under the console and cool fingers thread through Jia’s own. A quick squeeze - code for I know, not here, not now - and then her hand retreats, like the insult never happened, like Jia never needed the touch.
It happened though, it really happened, and Jia still wants to punch Leeteuk in the face.
--
“Asshole!” Jia shouts when they’re free of the studio, after they’ve navigated out the building, stomped to their van and buckled themselves in. “Prick! Arrogant, insufferable dick!” She takes a breath and switches to Mandarin. “Bloated black-hearted pig!”
Fei winces and catches the eye of their startled driver in the rear-view mirror. “Sorry.” She reaches over and pushes on the back of Jia’s head, forcing her into a bow. “Just letting off some steam.”
The driver raises a hand in acknowledgement but doesn’t turn around, shuffling forward in his seat and guiding the van away from the curb.
Jia suspects she’s being unreasonable, but she’s too angry to care.
“You heard him, right?” she hisses, still in Mandarin, rounding on Fei and glaring at her with all the venom she wanted to show Leeteuk. “You heard him say that about our baby, about Suzy!” Her tongue catches on the roof of her mouth, words coming more thickly like they always do when she’s angry, but she’s running on righteous fury now and the little details don’t matter. “He really said it, right?”
Fei lets out a soft breath and reaches for Jia’s hand again, clasping it between both of hers and glancing out the window. It must have rained while they were inside - the streets are damp and shiny, reflecting the lights from high above, and Jia turns away from the flashes, frowning at her lap instead. After a moment Fei turns back inside.
“Yes,” she says, and while she’s as calm as before there’s an edge to her voice that Jia’s not all that familiar with. “I heard him, and I know what he implied. But being angry and shouting like this is not going to fix anything.” She bounces their hands on her knee, then brings Jia’s hand to her cheek. “All we can do is be there for Suzy, as a family. All we can do is show her that she’s perfect in our eyes.”
Jia can’t help a bark of laughter, but at least it’s not quite as bitter as she feels. “Like that’s enough.”
“It’ll have to be,” Fei replies, dropping their hands. “We’re not trainees any more, and to be honest, it could have been worse.”
She’s right, but it doesn’t make it sting any less. “He’s a dick,” Jia gripes.
“Yes,” Fei agrees calmly, a genuine smile touching her lips. “Maybe he can have one grafted to his forehead the next time he visits the surgeon for a touch-up.”
Jia’s laughter this time is anything but bitter, and she doesn’t stop laughing until they reach the dorm.
--
It’s inevitable that Suzy would have heard about it by the time they see her next, and due to her busy Dream High schedule they don’t catch up until late the following evening. Jia’s frying some rice for dinner while Min does stretches on the floor, a fashion magazine open in front of her. Fei’s at the JYPE building for a regular management meeting, and Jia’s had her ear pricked for the beep of the door for the past hour at least.
She’s just cracked in an egg when the click comes from the foyer and she almost drops her wooden spoon. Min angles a curious look at her before kicking the magazine aside and stretching both legs out in front. “It’s just Suzy,” she says lazily, sliding her fingers down her legs until her hands are holding her toes. She rests her head on her knees. “Must’ve finally finished filming.”
“I’m home!” Suzy calls from the front room, stepping out of her boots and hanging her coat on the rack. She comes into the kitchen still shedding her scarf, a few flakes of snow clinging stubbornly to her curls. Her eyes are bright and her cheeks are red and Jia can’t tell if she’s been sobbing all evening or if she’s just cold. She bites her lip to stop herself from asking about the interview, stabbing the contents of the wok with unnecessary force.
“Welcome back,” Min says, voice muffled by her own legs. She holds the position a moment longer then straightens with a sigh, settling into a cross-legged position. “How was today’s shoot?”
“Busy!” Suzy drapes her scarf over the back of a chair before slumping into the one beside it with a sigh of relief. “We had to do so many takes of this one scene, Taecyeon oppa broke a door-”
“Beastdol,” Min tsks, a little proudly.
“-and Soohyun oppa knocked a prop off his desk and couldn’t find it and we all had to look for it and it delayed filming by ages.” Suzy moves her placemat aside and lets her head drop to the table with a thunk. “I’m so tired.”
Jia switches off the gas and reaches for the bowls. “Well, don’t go to sleep just yet. You should have some dinner first.”
Suzy yawns into her elbow. “Actually I had some bread before I left. Wooyoung oppa and I just took some from the set.” She sits back up and gives Jia a sleepy smile. “Thanks anyway, but I might just have a shower and go to bed.” Stifling another yawn, she pushes her chair back and trudges off to the bathroom, swinging her arms around her torso and cracking her neck.
Jia watches her go, then turns to give Min a worried look. “Do you think she really had something to eat? Maybe she’s just saying that because of the interview - it’s been all over the news sites.”
Min rolls gracefully to her feet and makes a beeline for the fridge, pulling out a can of fruit juice. “I seriously doubt she’s skipping meals, if that’s what you mean.” Popping the tab on the can, she snatches a few gulps then rubs the back of her hand inelegantly across her mouth. “She’s not like that.”
“How do you know?” Jia presses, tapping thoughtfully on her chin with the still-sticky spoon. “She’s already had to deal with all those nasty comments about her acting.”
Min leans back on the counter, resting her can on the sink. “She’s a big girl.”
“Lee Minyoung!”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Min straightens, looking offended. “I just meant you don’t need to baby her. We’re idols now, you know?”
Jia gnaws on the end of the spoon. She’s put too much salt in the rice. “Still…”
“It’ll be okay.” Min rummages in the cutlery drawer for some chopsticks. “We’ve got our own schedules anyway. You can’t be with her twenty-four seven.”
Jia narrows her eyes. “I can’t,” she says slowly. “But others can.” She thrusts a bowl at Min and drops the wooden spoon in the wok. “You serve dinner, I have to contact a couple of our favourite sunbaes.”
Min just shakes her head and takes another swig of her juice, before wandering over and peering into the wok. “Are there mushrooms in here? You know I hate mushrooms.”
Jia’s too busy typing a message to reply.
--
“So let me get this straight,” Taecyeon says the next morning, face almost obscured by the combination of his high-collared fleece jacket, scarf in a clashing plaid pattern and the black knit beanie pulled down over his forehead and ears. “You want me to make sure Suzy’s eating, but not too much in case it’s comfort food, and not too little, in case she’s taking the interview to heart?”
Jia nods, pink earmuffs almost falling off her head. “That’s about right.”
Taecyeon brings his gloved hands to his face and blows on them, jogging on the spot at the same time. “Jia, I want to help, but some days I’m lucky to get a bathroom break. It’s going to be hard to watch her the whole time.”
“No, I’ve already thought of that.” Jia points behind him to 2PM’s van, where Wooyoung is still sitting with his headphones in. “You’ll have backup.”
Taecyeon turns to look at his bandmate and Wooyoung glances up instantly. He gives Taecyeon a questioning look, and when Taecyeon flips his hand at him Wooyoung slides out of the van, bumping the door shut with his hip and coming to join them.
He tucks his headphones into his pocket. “What?”
Taecyeon jerks his head at Wooyoung. “This guy notices everything. You probably won’t even need me.”
Jia turns hopeful eyes on Wooyoung. “It will mean a lot, thank you for helping out!”
Wooyoung takes a step back and looks suspiciously between the two of them. “What do you want from me?”
“My chingu,” says Jia sweetly, moving closer to Wooyoung and giving him a big smile, “do you by any chance remember what Suzy ate yesterday?”
She’s never seen Wooyoung perturbed, or even fazed, and she’s known him by sight for years, but she swears his jaw drops in surprise at her question. The moment is fleeting though, and his mouth closes with a barely-audible click, and then his brow is furrowing in thought as he thinks back to the previous day.
“Breakfast I wasn’t on set, but we had fruit for a morning snack and kimbap for lunch, and I know she ate three pieces of that because she shared with Jieun.” He starts marking off the meals with his fingers. “And then another break she had a hot chocolate with half milk-”
“So detailed,” Taecyeon says, clapping him on the shoulder like a proud parent.
Wooyoung shakes off his hand. “-and then we ate all the prop bread before we left.” Recitation finished, he drops his hand and gives Jia a sharp look. “Is this about Leeteuk’s comments?”
Surprised, Jia nods. She hadn’t expected him to be so astute.
Taecyeon tugs down his scarf and she can see his lips are pressed together in annoyance. “He shouldn’t have said that.”
“I know,” she retorts hotly. “I was there.”
Wooyoung wraps his arms around himself and casts a longing look in the direction of the van. “Stuff like that comes with the job. She’s handled herself well the whole time.” He glances back at Jia. “I’m not worried about her because I think she’s taken it on the chin, but if you want, I’ll check on her when I can.” Apparently done, he turns and wanders back to the van.
Taecyeon tsks fondly after him, then turns to Jia with a grin. “Looks like we’ve got your back. I’ll text you if anything goes on.” He holds up a fist. “Okay?”
Jia bumps it with her own and feels a weight lift off her shoulders. “Thank you. Both of you.”
Taecyeon pushes his scarf back up. “Man, I feel like a secret agent. I might send my messages in code!”
“Please don’t,” Jia replies flatly, but he just claps his hands over his ears and scampers off to the van, loudly humming the Bond theme.
--
Time seems to pass in a blur of practices, performances and interviews, the three of them appearing without Suzy more often than not. Jia tries to have something either cooking or waiting in the fridge whenever Suzy gets home, and the little free time she does have is spent either searching for new recipes to expand her limited repertoire or checking her phone for updates from Taecyeon or Wooyoung.
Surprisingly it’s Wooyoung who’s the most consistent about staying in contact, periodically sending APPLE or BREAD throughout the day, while Taecyeon sends infrequent and entirely too long-winded messages about the weather, Jinyoung’s acting and diatribes blaming the lack of heating on set for his forthcoming and untimely demise, throwing in a vague reference to Suzy’s meals at the end.
Min glances over Jia’s shoulder when she’s reading Wooyoung’s update of TEA and frowns at the phone. “Why is Wooyoung oppa texting you about drinks?”
Jin quickly goes through a mental catalogue of excuses and decides that the truth is probably the best option. “I’m making sure our maknae is eating well.”
“By getting our sunbae to spy on her?” Min crosses her arms and nods at the ceiling. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. We can’t be on set but they can.” She drops her chin and looks at Jia. “That doesn’t really explain why, though.”
“Because of Leeteuk!” Not for the first time Jia wishes for a dartboard with his face. She could pull it out and gesticulate at it in moments like these. “And what he said!”
Min walks around her and heads to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and resting it on her hip. “That was a while ago,” she muses, dark eyes narrowed on Jia’s face. “Why are you still worked up about it? It’s not the first time any of us have been criticised, and I know it won’t be the last.” She unscrews the lid but doesn’t drink, just turns the cap over and over in her hand. “Shouldn’t it be something we leave up to Suzy, or if anyone, have Fei Fei look into it?”
Jia flips her phone shut and tucks it irritably into her jeans. “Is there something wrong with worrying about a bandmate?”
Min just looks at her. “No, of course not. Just…don’t go looking for something that isn’t there.”
“I’m just worried,” Jia repeats, but when Min just nods and goes to play the XBOX, she’s left to wonder if she’s not making too much of things.
--
She wonders more as Dream High goes on, wonders and worries even when she knows she shouldn’t. She checks her phone more frequently during the day, skimming the web for news bites about the drama or their group, and while Suzy is mentioned favourably more often than not, Jia still can’t shake her lingering concern.
She’s sitting in their dressing room after a Star King shoot and scrolling the results of a Twitter search with a determined expression when Fei slides onto the bench beside her. Her hair brushes Jia’s arm as she glances down at the screen.
“Do you search all of our names, or is Suzy special?”
Jia sighs and closes the phone, resting it on her lap. She pulls her feet up and settles cross-legged on the bench before turning to look at Fei. “What do you miss the most?”
Fei raises her eyebrows in question, shifting on the bench to mirror Jia’s pose. “What do you mean?”
“From before this.” Jia indicates the dressing room, unzipped makeup cases jostling water bottles that fight for space on the counter with tissues, jewellery and food. There are racks of clothes in every corner and bags of all shapes and sizes slung over chairs, piled on the floor. Voices sound in the corridor and move past, then another conversation passes from the opposite direction. They’re the only ones in the dressing room right now, but they’re not really alone.
“I know what you miss.” Fei’s smile is understanding.
Jia plays with her phone, opening and closing it so that the wallpaper of her family blinks in and out of view. “Yeah.”
“You’re a good sister.”
Her phone vibrates and she flips it open.
BREAD.
Her smile is self-deprecating when she slides her phone into her pocket. “Not as good as you.”
Fei lifts one shoulder in an elegant shrug. “Someone has to keep you in line.”
“Hey!”
As distractions go, it’s a good one, and Jia doesn’t worry for the rest of the night.
--
Jia carefully doesn’t think about the Suzy situation aside from the regular update texts and her own observations at home until it’s time for Dream High to wrap up shooting. She and Fei score cameos in the final episode and while she’s thrilled at being part of the show she’s also glad for the chance to see Suzy in her working environment, something none of them have been able to do.
She thinks that might be part of the reason she’s been so concerned - the fact that their maknae, their baby, has had to deal with this alone. Suzy’s been with them the shortest time but there’s something about her that lowers Jia’s defences, something that pulls protective, sisterly feelings from her like no one else can. Jia’s older than both Min and Suzy, but where Min is all sharp angles and hard edges from years on her own, years overseas, Suzy still has an air of innocence that Jia wants to preserve.
Maybe it’s selfish of her, but family has always come before anything else, and since this is the family Jia has chosen, she wants to keep it happy and safe.
She’s torn from her thoughts by a call to start blocking the scene, and she practises her one line a few times then moves through the simple choreography with a handful of other extras. They’re gearing up to do the shoot when Suzy darts through the crowd to greet her, running over with a dazzling grin and throwing her arms around Jia’s waist.
“Unnie! You’re here!”
Jia hugs back, pulling away after a moment and tapping Suzy on the nose. “I’m making my drama debut today, how do I look?” She spreads her arms wide and twirls, Suzy giggling at her police outfit and too-big hat.
“Almost as good as me,” Suzy says, dipping into a curtsy. “And you’ll be fine.” She makes a fist and punches the air. “Jia attack!”
“Fighting,” Jia agrees, mimicking the punch, and as they exchange grins again she does feel herself relaxing.
Fei appears beside them, sophisticated in a business suit. “What’s happening?”
Suzy claps. “Wow, unnie looks good!”
Jia reaches over and tugs at Fei’s fitted jacket. “How did you get the good outfit?”
Fei lightly smacks her hand. “Seniority.” She angles her neck and peers over the crowd. “What scene are we shooting next?”
The extras around them fall silent as the director strides over to their group. “Suzy, I’ll need you upstairs.” He leaves without waiting for a response, and Suzy bows quickly before following.
“Good luck!” she calls over her shoulder, and then she’s swallowed by the crowd.
Jia watches her disappear and deflates. “Why do I feel like a trainee all over again?”
Fei chuckles and moves behind her to massage her shoulders. “Because, strange as it seems, she’s our sunbae right now.” She lightly pummels her arm. “All we can do is hope to keep up.”
Even under Fei’s ministrations Jia still feels a little tense. “Let’s go watch the scene filming,” she blurts out, pulling off her cap and tucking it under her arm. “I want to see what it’s like.”
Fei just smiles, indulgent. “Yes, let’s.”
--
Jia’s watched the previous episodes of the drama as they’ve aired - not always at the broadcast time, but the next day whenever she can. She, like everyone else, has been able to track Suzy’s progress, from the stilted awkwardness at the beginning to a more natural Go Hyemi. She’s too biased to agree with the criticism Suzy received in the first weeks, especially since she’d watched her practice scenes with Fei until early in the morning, but even she has to admit Suzy wasn’t the most convincing of actresses when the drama began.
The scene this time is short, just a quick cut of a smile and a look, so Jia and Fei position themselves out of the way but close enough to hear the director’s voice.
“-and then past here and down, okay?” He waits for understanding this time, and Suzy nods.
“Got it.” She steps out into the frame, crossing to an X marked on the pavement by masking tape. She takes a deep, calming breath, and then something changes. She relaxes in front of the camera, more comfortable than last week, and much better than the week before that.
As Jia watches, Suzy changes from their maknae, from her little sister, and takes on bits and pieces of Go Hyemi.
Suzy turns carefully, naturally, and looks, just as the director told her to, glancing out of the frame at nothing Jia can see. And then she smiles, slow and brilliant, and suddenly Jia knows that the Suzy she’s seeing now is a lot more grown up than Jia has given her credit for. She doesn’t need to be coddled, and she certainly doesn’t need anyone to check that she’s eating right, or at all.
Chagrined, Jia deflates a little, unsurprised to find a warm arm settling over her shoulders a second later.
“She improved so much,” Fei murmurs, tilting her head until it knocks gently against Jia’s. “Do you mind if she becomes the biggest star from miss A?”
Jia grins and bumps her head back. “What, you think I’m jealous? Please, I’ll always be the hair.”
“Cut!” calls the director, and Suzy skips over to where they are.
“How did I do?” she asks, eyes hopeful.
“You don’t need to change a thing,” says Jia, and opens her arms for a hug.
--
“You what?” Suzy gasps, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle laughter after the dance sequence has been filmed.
Jia winces and tugs on an earlobe. “It’s not funny, okay?”
Suzy’s wide-eyed with surprise, still pressing her hand to her mouth. A giggle escapes and she coughs to cover it up.
Drawn by the noise, Wooyoung drifts over, a bottle of water in one hand. “What’s the joke?”
Suzy straightens and drops her hand. “Oppa-I, just -” She can’t finish and starts giggling again.
Wooyoung turns to Jia and raises an eyebrow.
Jia runs an embarrassed hand through her hair. “I may have admitted to being concerned about what she’s been eating.”
Wooyoung nods and takes a sip of his water. “Does that mean I can stop texting you now?”
Suzy claps delightedly, looking between the two.
Jia tugs her police cap down over her face. “Yes, thanks for your help.”
Wooyoung just nods again and wanders off.
Suzy watches him go, then turns back to Jia, eyes bright. “Really, unnie? You really kept tabs on me?”
“Of course.” Jia scuffs her heel on the pavement. “After those comments from the radio show, I just…I was worried. I didn’t want you to take them to heart.”
Suzy reaches out and winds an arm around Jia’s elbow, tugging her into motion and directing her to a bench. Pulling them both down, she lets go and stretches her legs out. “It did hurt,” she admits after a moment. “But people have been saying that I’m big and untalented, things like that, the whole time.” She smiles a bit sadly, and Jia’s temper threatens to rise again. “It was just worse because…well, it’s Leeteuk oppa, you know? I had Super Junior posters on my wall when I was twelve.”
Jia imagines Jerry Yan announcing on public radio that she needed to lose weight and winces in agreement, wondering distantly also where her F4 posters disappeared to.
Suzy turns to look at her, and in the fading light of the setting sun she really does look older, more mature. “But now people have posters of me, and they’re looking up to me. I don’t want to let them down. So I just tried to stay strong.”
Jia blinks back the sting of proud tears and relaxes fully at last. “Don’t change,” she says, just like before. “Don’t change a thing.”
“Everyone changes,” Suzy replies, wise beyond her years, then ruins the image by sticking her tongue out. “But I think it’s okay, as long as we change for the better.”
“Sure thing, Miss Philosophical.” Jia pokes her side and Suzy jumps back with a grin.
“Unnie,” she says, face clearing. “Can you make fried rice tonight? We’ve had so many long nights and your cooking is the best.”
Jia jumps up and brushes her pants off before extending an arm to Suzy. “I think I can manage that.”
Suzy takes her hand and stands, twining their fingers together. “Yay! And put lots of mushrooms in it, please!”
“Deal,” Jia replies, and figures she can deal with Min’s mushroom-related protests when they come.
Suzy keeps hold of Jia’s hand as they walk back to the set, and if anyone notices them swinging their hands like a couple of kids, no one says a thing.
Poll Round 16: So shut up boy