Round 2: how not to run away from home (the america song)
Title: how not to run away from home (the america song)
Team: Future
Rating: R
Fandom: SHINee
Pairing: Jonghyun/Onew
Summary: In between the marshmallows and gummy worms, it was impossible for Jonghyun not to fall back in love.
Author's Note: many thanks to lib for holding my hand throughout all of this while i freaked out like a total loser. :)
Prompt Used: 2AM - You Wouldn’t Answer My Calls (Supplementary prompt 1)
Jonghyun hadn’t planned to run away. If he had, he would have at least brought his phone with him. As it is, he only has his iPod and his wallet, which doesn’t really amount to much, considering he spent all his money on a bus ticket that brought him from Seoul to a little hick town in the middle of nowhere.
He stands at Jinki’s door, covered in sweat, dust, and smudged makeup, his hair heavy with the amount of product that his stylist had put in.
He knocks on the door a second time.
“Coming!” he hears, followed by a loud crash and a yelp. Jonghyun can’t help but smile. He hasn’t seen Jinki in a few years but, from the sounds of it, he hasn’t changed.
Good.
Jinki pulls the door open, out of breath and wide-eyed. When he sees Jonghyun, however, he freezes, his confusion clear.
“Jonghyun?” he asks, cocking his head. He wipes his forehead, perspiration trickling down his cheeks from the late afternoon sun.
“The one and only,” Jonghyun quips with a grin, holding his arms wide open. They stare at each other for a moment. Jinki raises an eyebrow. Jonghyun gives an annoyed grunt. “Well, are you gonna give me a hug, or what?”
“Oh, sorry, yeah, yeah of course,” Jinki mumbles, still perturbed, before stumbling into Jonghyun’s open arms, his bare feet slapping against the concrete of his front step. “What’re you doing here, Jonghyun?”
Jonghyun ignores the question and lifts Jinki in his arms, surprised at how much lighter he’s gotten. He waddles forward into Jinki’s house, laughing at the man’s protests. Once he sets him down in the hall, he takes a second to look around before answering. “I have a few weeks off, so I thought I’d give my best friend a visit!”
Jinki crosses his arms. “So why aren’t you at Kibum’s then?”
Jonghyun pretends to look hurt. “You mean you don’t think of yourself as my best friend? I am hurt, hyung. Hurt, and shocked.”
Jinki just rolls his eyes before padding through one of the open doorways, motioning at Jonghyun to follow, both of them settling back into that old rhythm, that easy banter. Jonghyun peeks his head through and takes in the sight of Jinki’s small, homely kitchen, before coughing awkwardly. “D’you mind if I use your bathroom quickly?”
Jinki hums, his back to his friend as he rifles through the fridge. “Sure, follow the hallway down to the end, and it’s the door on the left.”
Once Jonghyun has locked the door, he takes a deep breath. He couldn’t have hoped for a better welcome. Trust Jinki to be the only person in the whole of South Korea who wouldn’t question him constantly about why he had turned up at his door randomly, after nearly two years of radio silence.
He splashes cold water onto his face, the chill welcome after the balmy heat. Running damp hands through his hair, he makes his way back to the kitchen, where Jinki offers him a beer.
“So where’s Sekyung?” Jinki asks, after taking a swig of his own drink. “I would’ve thought you guys would go away on a nice vacation together.”
Jonghyun rests his hip against the granite counter, squinting slightly as the golden sunlight filters through the patio doors and into his eyes. “Um, well,” he replies nervously, “She’s, uh, she’s working on a new movie right now. I haven’t seen her in a few weeks.”
Jinki’s mouth puckers sympathetically as he nods in understanding, before he suddenly grins up at his friend. “Well, I guess you’re stuck with me then!” he says.
Jonghyun laughs. “By the way, hyung, would it be alright if I stayed here for a few days?” he asks tentatively.
Jinki beams. “Of course it’s alright!” he insists. “But… where’s your stuff?”
Jonghyun fidgets and sips at his beer before replying. “Well, I left in a bit of a hurry, and, uh, forgot my stuff back at my place.”
Jinki giggles. “I’ve done that before. I remember this one time…”
And as Jinki begins to regale to Jonghyun one of his many stories of travels and mistakes and lessons learnt, Jonghyun just lets himself relax, his heartbeat slowing to the rhythm of Jinki’s kitchen clock. And sure, it feels like the freaking Sahara without an A/C, and the dust dancing in the light threatens to make Jonghyun sneeze (Jinki is obviously still not used to living without a cleaner) but… He hasn’t been this happy in a long time. It’s nice.
--
Jonghyun feels disorientated as he wakes up in a small single bed which is definitely not his. Sitting up quickly, he looks around, not recognizing the pale yellow walls or the view of the mountains from the window. He shifts slightly before looking down at the shirt he’s wearing, the cut of it unusual, not something he’s used to wearing. It isn’t his. It’s… Jinki’s. He’s at Jinki’s.
Smiling softly to himself, reveling in not having to be poked and prodded at, having to have make-up applied before the sun has even risen, Jonghyun rolls out of bed and shuffles out of his door and toward the smell of bacon.
“Morning, sleepy head,” Jinki greets him from where he’s poking at a pan of sizzling meat. “It’s already twelve o’ clock.”
Jonghyun just grunts, scratching at his stomach lazily. “D’you mind if I use your computer quickly to e-mail some people?” he mumbles, blinking sluggishly.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind, but. Um. I don’t have a computer, Jonghyun,” Jinki replies as a bird flits past the patio doors, its tawny body casting shadows along the kitchen table.
Jonghyun pauses before giving Jinki an incredulous look. “How can you not have a computer?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Well, whatever. Can I borrow your phone? I left mine back at the apartment.”
Jinki takes the frying pan off of the flame before turning and scratching his head sheepishly. “I don’t have a phone either, Jjong.”
Jonghyun stares at him. “You’re lying.”
“No I’m not, you loser,” Jinki replies, moving the bacon from the pan to one of the plates. “If I did have a phone, don’t you think I would have called you sometime during the past two years?”
“I just thought you didn’t want to speak to me.”
“What about everyone else? In case you didn’t notice, I haven’t really been in contact with Minho, Kibum or Taemin either, not to mention anyone else from the company!”
Jonghyun steals a piece of bacon before pulling out one of the chairs. “Why is that, anyway?” he asks, chewing on the meat.
Jinki hesitates for a moment, before pulling out another chair and leaning in toward Jonghyun. “Life got difficult after we disbanded,” he admits. “I just couldn’t deal with it. I wanted to get out of the way, just, y’know, live for a while. And then, once I got out here… it was just so much harder to go back.”
Jonghyun nods, still chewing.
“And, without phones or the internet,” Jinki continues, “I can do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, without distractions. Compose, cook, read. Anything I want.”
Jonghyun smiles slowly, mulling Jinki’s words over before leaning in, their noses barely touching. “I want that,” he whispers, like he’s telling Jinki a secret (and maybe he is), the morning sun wrapping them in their own little bubble, sights and sounds muted.
“Yeah?” Jinki asks, grinning slyly.
“Yeah,” Jonghyun replies before placing a chaste kiss to Jinki’s lips. Everything about the moment reminds him of the old days.
Jinki pulls a face before wiping his lips, breaking the magic weaved around them. “Ew, bacon breath.”
Jonghyun’s eyes widen at the insult, his jaw dropping dramatically. “Hey, you’re the one that cooked it!”
“Excuses, Jonghyun,” Jinki teases, before yelping and running away as Jonghyun jumps from his chair.
Their laughter rings throughout the house, until it’s cut short by a pained yelp, and then they have to stop their chase so that Jonghyun can go and find bandages for Jinki’s knee.
--
“Hey, pass me some of the firewood,” Jinki says, his words slurred by the marshmallows stuffed in his cheeks.
“Oh my God, swallow, you pig,” Jonghyun says, scrunching his nose in disgust.
“But s’good,” Jinki replies, every inch the wide-eyed teen Jonghyun remembers from his trainee days.
“And, no, I’m not passing you the firewood, so move out of the way,” Jonghyun carries on, shouldering his friend out of the way before picking up the firewood they had collected.
He settles down on his haunches, careful not to get dirt on Jinki’s jeans. The sun is setting behind Jinki’s house, which they can just see at the top of the hill if they squint. Jonghyun looks up through the trees at the moon. “Look, hyung,” he says, pointing, “It’s a full moon.”
“Really?” Jinki asks excitedly, stumbling over logs to the middle of the clearing in order to get a better view. “It looks so cool!” he says, face full of admiration like he isn’t already in his mid-thirties and has seen many full moons before this one.
“I know, right?” Jonghyun replies, desperately trying to set the wood alight before Jinki can try and ‘help’, which will inevitably end in someone catching fire. And that would be a complete disaster, considering Jinki doesn’t even have a phone to call the emergency services with in case he accidentally causes a forest fire. It’s a likely possibility. “Go find some branches that we can roast the marshmallows with,” he orders, keeping Jinki busy.
Jinki does so and Jonghyun has thankfully already lit the wood by the time Jinki announces that he has the sticks. The two drag a log over to the fire and collapse onto it, both of their faces streaked with dirt and sweat. They grin at each other.
Jinki stabs two marshmallows with the sticks before handing one to Jonghyun. They sit in silence for a few minutes, the crackling of the fire and the chirping of the cicadas the only sounds.
Jinki clears his throat. “So do want to tell me why you’re really here, Jjong?”
Jonghyun stills, before shifting uncomfortably. “What do you mean?” he hedges.
“I mean,” Jinki continues patiently, “I do get letters from Kibum sometimes. He told me you’ve been doing promotions for your latest album. So why have you suddenly turned up on my doorstep, out of the blue?”
Jonghyun huffs. “You want the truth?”
Jinki shrugs. “Tell me what you want to tell me, Jonghyun,” he murmurs. “I’ll believe you.”
“I just got sick of it,” Jonghyun admits, looking off into the forest, twirling his stick unconsciously. “I couldn’t handle the pressure of it all. I didn’t realize… It’s different when there’s only one of you.”
Jinki snorts, wrapping an arm around Jonghyun’s shoulders, before nibbling on the caramelized outer shell of his marshmallow. “You think I don’t get that?” he says softly. “I felt the same pressure as leader. Why else do you think I was always a step behind the rest of you, always up hours after you were all asleep? I had to work harder for you guys, stay behind you to make sure you didn’t fall.”
Jonghyun leans back slightly to look at his friend. “Wow, that sounds… really cheesy.”
Jinki knocks Jonghyun with his shoulder. “Shut up douchebag. It’s true.” He pauses. “I get it. Why do you think I’m out here now? I deserve this. I deserve to have a break.” He looks hard at Jonghyun, as if trying to impress to Jonghyun the importance of his words. “And so do you. You deserve this, Jonghyun.”
Jonghyun hums, eyes downcast as the last vestiges of light disappear. “Th-” he starts, but coughs, clearing his throat. It’s silly. He shouldn’t have to hold back tears. “Thanks, hyung,” he says finally, softly, unsure.
“You do,” Jinki insists.
Jonghyun just nods and allows Jinki to pull him into his side.
--
A few mornings later, instead of eating breakfast, Jinki forces Jonghyun out of bed at an ungodly hour and wrestles a jacket over Jonghyun’s pajamas before stuffing something long and thin into his hands and pulling him down the dirt path into the forest. Jonghyun lets himself be lead, eyes still glued shut as he grips whatever it is that Jinki’s given him.
“Watch out for the log,” Jinki says, his voice breaking through the early morning hush. Jonghyun just carries on holding onto Jinki’s shirt, letting Jinki lead him, smelling the burnt remnants of the campfire from the night before.
After a few more minutes of tripping over various rocks and sticks, Jinki finally brings Jonghyun to a halt. “C’mon Jjong, open your eyes,” he coaxes, causing Jonghyun to grumble as he does so.
He’s met by the sight of a small ravine, and a long black fishing rod in his hand.
“What the fuck?” he asks slowly, his mind still taking a moment to connect the dots.
“We’re gonna catch our own lunch!” Jinki announces triumphantly. “It’ll be awesome, Jonghyun, I promise.”
Jonghyun watches as Jinki dumps his own rod down onto the soil, placing the box full of fishing equipment down next to it. “So you’ve done this before?”
Jinki laughs sheepishly. “Well, not exactly.” Jonghyun gapes. “Don’t look at me like that! The old guy who sold me this place told me that this was a really good fishing spot.”
Jonghyun raises an eyebrow before slumping onto a nearby rock with a sigh. “You realize he was just trying to get you to buy the house,” he grumbles, fiddling with his rod, checking the hook. “You’re so gullible.”
Jinki pokes his tongue out at his friend. “You’re just scared I’m gonna catch more fish than you,” Jinki replies. He picks up his own rod, before looking at it in confusion. “Uh, Jonghyun?” he asks tentatively.
“What?”
“How do I, uh, use a fishing rod?”
Jonghyun looks up at Jinki incredulously. “Oh my God, are you actually kidding me?”
Jinki smiles brightly. “Um. Yes?”
Jonghyun narrows his eyes before giving a snort. “No you’re not, dork. Give it to me and I’ll show you, okay?”
Jinki bounds over and hands him the rod. “Thanks, Jjong.”
Jonghyun sends him a bemused look. “What for, hyung?”
“For looking after me,” he answers, before furrowing his brow and adding, “And I’m not just talking about the fishing rod.”
Jonghyun blushes and ducks his head, smiling softly. “You don’t need to thank me for that. I’ll always have your back. You know that.”
“I know.”
Jonghyun struggles with the fishing line before pausing and squinting up at his friend. “We really should stop having these chick flick moments.”
“We’re acting like total girls, aren’t we?” Jinki asks.
“Yeah.”
They both grimace. “I was afraid of that,” Jinki mutters.
--
“Holy shit, the water’s cold!” Jonghyun shrieks, scrabbling back out of the stream, Jinki’s laughter reaching his ears. “Why did you tell me that it was warm?”
“Stop being such a baby,” Jinki teases, pushing his wet hair away from his forehead, causing Jonghyun to stop and stare for a moment. And gulp. And then look away in embarrassment.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” Jinki asks worriedly, pawing at his cheeks and checking his hands.
“No, no,” Jonghyun assures him, tripping over the fishing equipment. “It’s nothing.”
Jinki giggles again. “You’re making me blush, dude. I’m too old for that kind of thing.”
Jonghyun shakes his head bashfully. “Sorry.”
Jinki wades over to the edge, leaning against the grassy bank. He looks up at Jonghyun, squinting slightly against the sun. “You sure it’s nothing?” he asks, biting his lip.
Jonghyun laughs breathlessly because it feels like he’s traveled back in time, and he’s looking at Jinki all over again, thinking, Should I tell him?
He kneels against the ground and, after a moment of indecision, bends down, capturing Jinki’s lips in his own. Jinki’s breath hitches and his mouth parts, inviting Jonghyun in, the taste of river water and the tang of the gummy worms they’d eaten earlier working it’s way along Jonghyun’s tongue.
“Oh,” Jinki whispers after Jonghyun pulls away.
“Oh?” Jonghyun repeats with a smirk.
“What about Se-” Jinki starts, but cuts himself off. “You know what? Never mind.”
“Okay,” Jonghyun replies softly, before bending down and kissing him again quickly. “What do you say about skipping lunch and going back to bed?”
Jinki grins.
--
When Jonghyun slinks into Jinki’s bed the next evening, back from his run (Minho had converted him to the ways of exercise shortly after his twenty-fifth birthday), he finds him sitting on the edge of his bed, toweling his hair dry, a few droplets seeping through the cotton of his pants.
Jinki looks up when the door opens. “Hey,” he says, muffled by the towel. He rubs his head vigorously for a few more seconds before dropping it into his lap. “How was your run?”
Jonghyun collapses down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he replies, “Good.” The conversation lulls, bit it’s still comfortable. Jonghyun idly pokes a finger into Jinki’s side.
“Stop it!” Jinki orders, squirming and laughing as Jonghyun pulls him down to his side and presses his nose to the man’s neck.
“Mmm, you smell good. Clean,” Jonghyun mumbles into Jinki’s skin.
“I’m sure that’s a novelty for you, mister my-musk-is-sexy.”
“It is,” Jonghyun insists with a pout.
“Sure,” Jinki drawls, but there’s a grin on his lips, and Jonghyun’s pretty sure that the perfect way to end the day would be to flip Jinki onto his back and fuck him until he sees stars. And since they’d started sleeping together again, Jonghyun feels rather inclined to run with that idea.
Jonghyun doesn’t reply, merely rolling on top of his best friend, smirking down at him.
“You’re gonna pay for calling me smelly,” he remarks ominously, hands creeping down Jinki’s side, sweeping under the thick cotton shirt he’s pulled on.
“You just can’t take the truth,” Jinki gasps, wriggling and squirming under Jonghyun’s weight. “Get off me, Jjong.”
“Get off? Certainly,” Jonghyun leers.
Jinki giggles. “Oh my God, you sound like a B-rated porno, you douchebag.” He wriggles farther away from the edge of the bed, until he finds his head pillowed by his cushions, alleviating the stress on his neck.
“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Jonghyun carries on, regardless. Because he can. They’re not fumbling teenagers anymore, unsure and uncomfortable in their own skin. Jonghyun laves at a small scar along Jinki’s chest, humming in approval.
“Wait, wait,” Jinki gasps out as Jonghyun starts rolling his hips slowly against Jinki’s thigh. “Top drawer,” he supplies when Jonghyun throws him a questioning look.
Jonghyun nods quickly in understanding and anticipation before through the drawer. He stills. “Look at what I’ve found,” he crows.
Jinki turns, unsure what to expect. Jonghyun shakes a little brown bottle in front of his nose, Jinki’s eyes crossing slightly at the motion.
“I didn’t know you still kept some of this around,” Jonghyun remarks fondly, thinking back to earlier days, when they’d been so breathless with excitement, believing that they were rebels, they were different, despite already being part of a system that kept them in a stranglehold.
“Christ, Jjong, it’s just some poppers,” Jinki huffs, making a wild grab for the bottle with the hand that wasn’t pinned under Jonghyun’s torso.
“Nuh uh,” Jonghyun purrs, shaking his head. He unscrews the cap and motions at Jinki, who rolls his eyes before leaning across and sniffing, Jonghyun doing the same.
He then places the bottle back on the side. “You know you shouldn’t sniff poppers,” he whispers, palming Jinki through his pants.
“And why’s that?” Jinki replies breathlessly.
“It lowers your inhibitions,” Jonghyun replies smartly, feeling Jinki’s heart race beneath his breastbone.
“Is that why I’m sleeping with you?” Jinki jokes, freeing his arms and using them to draw Jonghyun closer, bringing him down for a heated kiss.
“No,” Jonghyun murmurs gleefully, his mouth moving against Jinki’s, the air between them hot. “It’s because we love each other.” It feels so liberating to say it.
Jinki bucks at the comment. “Then why don’t you show me just how much you love me, huh?”
Jonghyun’s grin turns feral. “Of course.”
--
It only occurs to Jinki to ask after their fifth week together, while they’re shooting jellybeans into his fruit bowl from the sofa.
“Did you tell Sekyung where you were going?” It’s the first time he’s mentioned her since they got back together.
Jonghyun misses his next shot.
After a moment’s hesitation, he replies, “No.”
“Do you want to let her know where you are?” Jinki asks, eyes focused on the bowl.
“I thought you said you didn’t have a phone.”
Jinki looks over and steals one of Jonghyun’s jellybeans, popping it into his mouth. “I don’t. But I have to go grocery shopping soon, anyway, and there’s a payphone in town.”
They sit in silence for a while longer, the only sound the hollow thunk made by each jellybean that finds its way into the bowl.
“I’ll come shopping with you,” Jonghyun says finally, “But I don’t think I’ll call.” Another jellybean makes it into the bowl. “Not yet.”
Jinki nods. “If that’s what you want, Jonghyun.”
--
“And whatever you do,” Jinki warns, “Run like hell if you see hobo Bob.”
Jonghyun laughs, scratching his neck. “You have a town drunk called hobo Bob?”
Jinki looks at him seriously, kneeling down to lock their bicycles to the railing. “Don’t mock the hobo.”
Jonghyun holds his hands up. “Don’t worry hyung, I won’t bait the stupid hobo, okay?” he asks, rubbing his eyes and squinting up at the few clouds drifting through the sky. “But I don’t see why I can’t come into the supermarket with you.”
“We’ll attract too much attention,” Jinki answers, pulling the brim of Jonghyun’s hat down. “Now wait out here while I go get the food and stuff.”
“Will do,” Jonghyun replies tritely. “I’ll just sit out here and be bored and hot and sweaty.”
Jinki looks around distractedly before tucking the keys into his back pocket. “You do that,” he mutters, before heading inside.
“Hey!” Jonghyun calls after him. “See if they’ve got any pie!”
Jinki looks back at him, his face exasperated, before walking into the store.
Jonghyun leans forward to look through the glass doors. “Bring me some pie!” he calls out insistently. Even though he can’t see Jinki’s face, he’s pretty sure that he’s rolling his eyes at him. Jonghyun smirks.
--
After twenty minutes, Jonghyun decides that enough is enough, and Jinki should really have finished shopping already. The store isn’t that big, and he’s been waiting outside in the heat, wary of curious by-passers and rabid hobos.
Well, no more!
Determined, Jonghyun stalks through the automatic doors, silently thankful for the cool air blasting against his face. He just wants to find Jinki and get back home. After weeks in isolation, he isn’t comfortable, even though the crowds are thin and relatively quiet.
“Jinki?” he hisses down the first aisle, but only a startled old woman meets his gaze. “Jinki?” he calls again, turning on the spot. No reply.
Grumbling, Jonghyun checks aisle after aisle, until he reached the newspaper stand.
Singer Kim Jonghyun still missing! reads one headline. Jonghyun flinches, tugging his hat down self-consciously. He turns on his heel to walk away when another headline catches his eyes.
Friends and family send out plea for singer to return home.
Fuck.
--
Jonghyun decides at a really illogical moment that he should tell Jinki about getting back to Seoul and facing the music.
“You want to go now?” Jinki asks disbelievingly, reaching with his left leg to touch the red spot on the mat. He leaves the “What about me?” unsaid.
“Yeah,” Jonghyun replies glumly. “After this I should go get my bag and start heading back.”
Jinki spins the wheel and tells Jonghyun, “Right hand to blue.” Jonghyun complies. “Wait,” Jinki says, slightly breathless from the position he’s in. “How did playing Twister convince you that you need to go back to work?”
”I don’t know,” Jonghyun says, his voice straining as he goes to spin the wheel.
“Shouldn’t you at least wait for your hair to grow back?” Jinki asks desperately, motioning at the shaved strip on the side of Jonghyun’s head, an attempt at styling gone wrong on a lazy afternoon.
Jonghyun smiles brightly at his friend. “I’ll just blame it on you. And anyways, I’m kinda growing attached to it. Left hand green.”
“What?”
“Left hand green.”
“Oh,” Jinki mutters, before dropping onto his stomach, frowning at Jonghyun’s crows of triumph. “Is it because…” he starts, unsure. “Is it because of us? Is that why you’re going back?”
Jonghyun drops down beside him. “Of course not hyung,” he says softly, carding a hand through Jinki’s hair, loving the silky texture. “But. You knew this wouldn’t last forever, right? I’ve gotta go back sometime.”
“And Sekyung?” Jinki mutters, no bothering to hide the jealousy in his voice.
“We’re getting married, hyung,” Jonghyun replies simply, his voice soft, like he doesn’t want to hurt Jinki. He tries not to think back to all the traded kisses and whispered I love you’s passing between them over the past couple of weeks. He can’t afford to think about that now. He needs to be realistic.
Jinki stiffens, before picking himself up off the floor angrily and dusting off the dirt on his clothes. “You can see yourself out,” he says, voice hard and unforgiving. He really should have learnt his lesson after the first time Jonghyun had done this to him. He stalks out of the room, accidentally pushing a forgotten bowl of chips to the ground.
He leaves Jonghyun to clear up the mess.
--
When Jonghyun arrives back at work, he’s immediately pulled into his manager’s office, people yelling at him from all sides, waving pieces of paper in his face that mean nothing to him. He shrugs it off, tells them that he’s going to get something to eat, and walks out, leaving them speechless.
Taemin pulls him to the side before he gets to the elevator.
“What happened to you?” he asks, his brows pulled down in worry. “I tried calling, and Kibum went over to your house, like, a hundred times.”
“I went away,” Jonghyun says simply, schooling his features. If he thinks about Jinki for too long, his eyes start watering and his head hurts.
“Six weeks, hyung,” Taemin reminds him. “You were gone for six weeks. You didn’t even tell management. Where the hell did you go?”
Jonghyun tries to shake him off, but the younger man refuses to let him go.
“I was at Jinki’s, okay?” Jonghyun hisses and, right on cue, he can feel the backs of his eyes stinging. “I was staying with him.”
Taemin’s eyes widen in something close to understanding. “But… you’re back now? For good?”
Jonghyun nods, clearing his throat, not trusting himself to speak.
“And hyung? He didn’t come back with you?”
“No, he didn’t,” Jonghyun manages to choke out.
Sensing his friend’s distress, Taemin lets him go, rubbing his hands against the sides of his legs awkwardly. “Well, okay then,” he says softly.
Jonghyun takes the opportunity to escape.
--
It only takes a week before Jonghyun feels like he’s suffocating, all over again. Drowning in his own unhappiness. Working for fifteen hours a day, blinding lights, stuffy rooms.
“Fuck,” he mutters, throwing his coffee into the trash. His manager looks up from his phone, wary. Everyone’s been looking at him warily since he came back. Taemin is the only person who knows where he went.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Jonghyun replies with a tight smile, the stench of perfume from the girl group next door cloying. Nothing like the smell of fresh grass and barbecue. Nothing like Jinki.
Jinki.
What had he said?
You deserve this.
He’d told Jonghyun that he deserved a break. He deserved not to be run to the ground every day, throat sore, neck aching.
Jonghyun clears his throat, before looking back at his manager. “Actually, no. Everything’s not alright.” He clenches his fists, steels himself. He’s really going to do this. “We need to talk.”
--
When Kibum arrives late the same evening, with Minho and Taemin in tow, intent on questioning Jonghyun relentlessly about his sudden departure from SM, they find him sitting on the floor, back against his sofa, surrounded by shards of glass and what appears to be pieces of meat.
“What the fuck happened here?” Kibum asks incredulously, eyeing the stain in Jonghyun’s cream colored carpet with horror. Jonghyun doesn’t reply, just stares blankly ahead, much to his friend’s chagrin.
Kneeling down beside Jonghyun, Kibum gestures at the other two to clean up, Taemin hurrying to the kitchen to get the broom while Minho heads to the bathroom for towels. The food isn’t just all over the floor, but also covering Jonghyun as well.
“What happened here, Jjong?” Kibum asks, softer this time, bringing a hesitant hand to Jonghyun’s shoulder, causing him to stiffen.
Slowly, Jonghyun looks across at his friend, his face haggard. “I broke up with Sekyung,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse. He coughs, rubbing at his throat with a grimace. “Sorry,” he says, “I’ve been shouting a lot.”
Kibum laughs gently, sliding down beside him. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”
Minho returns with a towel, Taemin quietly sweeping up the broken glass. Jonghyun gestures around him.
“It’s my fault that I told her it was over while she was holding ramyun.”
Minho chuckles. “Rookie move,” he mutters, trying to lighten the mood as he gently towels Jonghyun’s shoulders dry.
“Tell me about it,” Jonghyun replies flatly.
Kibum smiles briefly. “But… Why?”
Jonghyun doesn’t reply straight away, choosing to stare blankly out of the window again. Kibum doesn’t push him.
“I’m gonna ask Jinki if he’ll take me back,” Jonghyun says quietly after a few minutes.
“Jinki?” Kibum asks, confused, while Taemin just ducks his head and smiles quietly.
“Yeah. Um, so, you guys won’t be able to reach me for a while. But I’ll call you when I’ve sorted everything out,” Jonghyun carries on earnestly.
“What about your contract?” Minho asks, now moving on to drying Jonghyun’s hair.
“I’ve already made arrangements,” Jonghyun answers. “Paid compensation, agreed to certain terms. Not a big deal.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
Jonghyun grins, and the concern in Kibum’s chest lessens. “It’s because I’m awesome.”
“Douchebag,” Taemin mutters, making them all to laugh.
--
This time, Jonghyun’s planned everything. He’s got his iPod and wallet, plus his phone, not to mention the two large duffel bags laying on the ground beside him. He’s covered, once again, with sweat and dust, and his pulse his racing.
He knocks on the door a second time.
There is no yell from inside, no rush to the door. It opens slowly, Jinki’s haggard face peering out of the dark.
“Jjong?” he asks meekly, and Jonghyun’s heart is stuck in his throat and he just hopes he isn’t too late.
“I was wondering…” Jonghyun starts, pushing the door wide open, causing Jinki to blink rapidly in the sudden sunlight. “If we could just go back to how it was.”
“Huh?” Jinki asks, dumbfounded, his eyes widening.
Jonghyun pulls him into his arms tightly, and whispers into his ear, “Take me back. I promise you won’t regret it this time, hyung. I’ll… I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. We deserve this.”
Jinki laughs suddenly, awkwardly, like he hasn’t used his voice in a while and pulls him inside.
“We’re not going back to how it was,” he tells Jonghyun, who gives him a confused look. “This time, it’s gonna be better.”
Jonghyun grins and cradles Jinki’s head as he pulls him in for a kiss. “Promise?” he whispers against Jinki’s lips.
“Promise.”
Poll Round 2: how not to run away from home (the america song)
Team: Future
Rating: R
Fandom: SHINee
Pairing: Jonghyun/Onew
Summary: In between the marshmallows and gummy worms, it was impossible for Jonghyun not to fall back in love.
Author's Note: many thanks to lib for holding my hand throughout all of this while i freaked out like a total loser. :)
Prompt Used: 2AM - You Wouldn’t Answer My Calls (Supplementary prompt 1)
Jonghyun hadn’t planned to run away. If he had, he would have at least brought his phone with him. As it is, he only has his iPod and his wallet, which doesn’t really amount to much, considering he spent all his money on a bus ticket that brought him from Seoul to a little hick town in the middle of nowhere.
He stands at Jinki’s door, covered in sweat, dust, and smudged makeup, his hair heavy with the amount of product that his stylist had put in.
He knocks on the door a second time.
“Coming!” he hears, followed by a loud crash and a yelp. Jonghyun can’t help but smile. He hasn’t seen Jinki in a few years but, from the sounds of it, he hasn’t changed.
Good.
Jinki pulls the door open, out of breath and wide-eyed. When he sees Jonghyun, however, he freezes, his confusion clear.
“Jonghyun?” he asks, cocking his head. He wipes his forehead, perspiration trickling down his cheeks from the late afternoon sun.
“The one and only,” Jonghyun quips with a grin, holding his arms wide open. They stare at each other for a moment. Jinki raises an eyebrow. Jonghyun gives an annoyed grunt. “Well, are you gonna give me a hug, or what?”
“Oh, sorry, yeah, yeah of course,” Jinki mumbles, still perturbed, before stumbling into Jonghyun’s open arms, his bare feet slapping against the concrete of his front step. “What’re you doing here, Jonghyun?”
Jonghyun ignores the question and lifts Jinki in his arms, surprised at how much lighter he’s gotten. He waddles forward into Jinki’s house, laughing at the man’s protests. Once he sets him down in the hall, he takes a second to look around before answering. “I have a few weeks off, so I thought I’d give my best friend a visit!”
Jinki crosses his arms. “So why aren’t you at Kibum’s then?”
Jonghyun pretends to look hurt. “You mean you don’t think of yourself as my best friend? I am hurt, hyung. Hurt, and shocked.”
Jinki just rolls his eyes before padding through one of the open doorways, motioning at Jonghyun to follow, both of them settling back into that old rhythm, that easy banter. Jonghyun peeks his head through and takes in the sight of Jinki’s small, homely kitchen, before coughing awkwardly. “D’you mind if I use your bathroom quickly?”
Jinki hums, his back to his friend as he rifles through the fridge. “Sure, follow the hallway down to the end, and it’s the door on the left.”
Once Jonghyun has locked the door, he takes a deep breath. He couldn’t have hoped for a better welcome. Trust Jinki to be the only person in the whole of South Korea who wouldn’t question him constantly about why he had turned up at his door randomly, after nearly two years of radio silence.
He splashes cold water onto his face, the chill welcome after the balmy heat. Running damp hands through his hair, he makes his way back to the kitchen, where Jinki offers him a beer.
“So where’s Sekyung?” Jinki asks, after taking a swig of his own drink. “I would’ve thought you guys would go away on a nice vacation together.”
Jonghyun rests his hip against the granite counter, squinting slightly as the golden sunlight filters through the patio doors and into his eyes. “Um, well,” he replies nervously, “She’s, uh, she’s working on a new movie right now. I haven’t seen her in a few weeks.”
Jinki’s mouth puckers sympathetically as he nods in understanding, before he suddenly grins up at his friend. “Well, I guess you’re stuck with me then!” he says.
Jonghyun laughs. “By the way, hyung, would it be alright if I stayed here for a few days?” he asks tentatively.
Jinki beams. “Of course it’s alright!” he insists. “But… where’s your stuff?”
Jonghyun fidgets and sips at his beer before replying. “Well, I left in a bit of a hurry, and, uh, forgot my stuff back at my place.”
Jinki giggles. “I’ve done that before. I remember this one time…”
And as Jinki begins to regale to Jonghyun one of his many stories of travels and mistakes and lessons learnt, Jonghyun just lets himself relax, his heartbeat slowing to the rhythm of Jinki’s kitchen clock. And sure, it feels like the freaking Sahara without an A/C, and the dust dancing in the light threatens to make Jonghyun sneeze (Jinki is obviously still not used to living without a cleaner) but… He hasn’t been this happy in a long time. It’s nice.
--
Jonghyun feels disorientated as he wakes up in a small single bed which is definitely not his. Sitting up quickly, he looks around, not recognizing the pale yellow walls or the view of the mountains from the window. He shifts slightly before looking down at the shirt he’s wearing, the cut of it unusual, not something he’s used to wearing. It isn’t his. It’s… Jinki’s. He’s at Jinki’s.
Smiling softly to himself, reveling in not having to be poked and prodded at, having to have make-up applied before the sun has even risen, Jonghyun rolls out of bed and shuffles out of his door and toward the smell of bacon.
“Morning, sleepy head,” Jinki greets him from where he’s poking at a pan of sizzling meat. “It’s already twelve o’ clock.”
Jonghyun just grunts, scratching at his stomach lazily. “D’you mind if I use your computer quickly to e-mail some people?” he mumbles, blinking sluggishly.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind, but. Um. I don’t have a computer, Jonghyun,” Jinki replies as a bird flits past the patio doors, its tawny body casting shadows along the kitchen table.
Jonghyun pauses before giving Jinki an incredulous look. “How can you not have a computer?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Well, whatever. Can I borrow your phone? I left mine back at the apartment.”
Jinki takes the frying pan off of the flame before turning and scratching his head sheepishly. “I don’t have a phone either, Jjong.”
Jonghyun stares at him. “You’re lying.”
“No I’m not, you loser,” Jinki replies, moving the bacon from the pan to one of the plates. “If I did have a phone, don’t you think I would have called you sometime during the past two years?”
“I just thought you didn’t want to speak to me.”
“What about everyone else? In case you didn’t notice, I haven’t really been in contact with Minho, Kibum or Taemin either, not to mention anyone else from the company!”
Jonghyun steals a piece of bacon before pulling out one of the chairs. “Why is that, anyway?” he asks, chewing on the meat.
Jinki hesitates for a moment, before pulling out another chair and leaning in toward Jonghyun. “Life got difficult after we disbanded,” he admits. “I just couldn’t deal with it. I wanted to get out of the way, just, y’know, live for a while. And then, once I got out here… it was just so much harder to go back.”
Jonghyun nods, still chewing.
“And, without phones or the internet,” Jinki continues, “I can do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, without distractions. Compose, cook, read. Anything I want.”
Jonghyun smiles slowly, mulling Jinki’s words over before leaning in, their noses barely touching. “I want that,” he whispers, like he’s telling Jinki a secret (and maybe he is), the morning sun wrapping them in their own little bubble, sights and sounds muted.
“Yeah?” Jinki asks, grinning slyly.
“Yeah,” Jonghyun replies before placing a chaste kiss to Jinki’s lips. Everything about the moment reminds him of the old days.
Jinki pulls a face before wiping his lips, breaking the magic weaved around them. “Ew, bacon breath.”
Jonghyun’s eyes widen at the insult, his jaw dropping dramatically. “Hey, you’re the one that cooked it!”
“Excuses, Jonghyun,” Jinki teases, before yelping and running away as Jonghyun jumps from his chair.
Their laughter rings throughout the house, until it’s cut short by a pained yelp, and then they have to stop their chase so that Jonghyun can go and find bandages for Jinki’s knee.
--
“Hey, pass me some of the firewood,” Jinki says, his words slurred by the marshmallows stuffed in his cheeks.
“Oh my God, swallow, you pig,” Jonghyun says, scrunching his nose in disgust.
“But s’good,” Jinki replies, every inch the wide-eyed teen Jonghyun remembers from his trainee days.
“And, no, I’m not passing you the firewood, so move out of the way,” Jonghyun carries on, shouldering his friend out of the way before picking up the firewood they had collected.
He settles down on his haunches, careful not to get dirt on Jinki’s jeans. The sun is setting behind Jinki’s house, which they can just see at the top of the hill if they squint. Jonghyun looks up through the trees at the moon. “Look, hyung,” he says, pointing, “It’s a full moon.”
“Really?” Jinki asks excitedly, stumbling over logs to the middle of the clearing in order to get a better view. “It looks so cool!” he says, face full of admiration like he isn’t already in his mid-thirties and has seen many full moons before this one.
“I know, right?” Jonghyun replies, desperately trying to set the wood alight before Jinki can try and ‘help’, which will inevitably end in someone catching fire. And that would be a complete disaster, considering Jinki doesn’t even have a phone to call the emergency services with in case he accidentally causes a forest fire. It’s a likely possibility. “Go find some branches that we can roast the marshmallows with,” he orders, keeping Jinki busy.
Jinki does so and Jonghyun has thankfully already lit the wood by the time Jinki announces that he has the sticks. The two drag a log over to the fire and collapse onto it, both of their faces streaked with dirt and sweat. They grin at each other.
Jinki stabs two marshmallows with the sticks before handing one to Jonghyun. They sit in silence for a few minutes, the crackling of the fire and the chirping of the cicadas the only sounds.
Jinki clears his throat. “So do want to tell me why you’re really here, Jjong?”
Jonghyun stills, before shifting uncomfortably. “What do you mean?” he hedges.
“I mean,” Jinki continues patiently, “I do get letters from Kibum sometimes. He told me you’ve been doing promotions for your latest album. So why have you suddenly turned up on my doorstep, out of the blue?”
Jonghyun huffs. “You want the truth?”
Jinki shrugs. “Tell me what you want to tell me, Jonghyun,” he murmurs. “I’ll believe you.”
“I just got sick of it,” Jonghyun admits, looking off into the forest, twirling his stick unconsciously. “I couldn’t handle the pressure of it all. I didn’t realize… It’s different when there’s only one of you.”
Jinki snorts, wrapping an arm around Jonghyun’s shoulders, before nibbling on the caramelized outer shell of his marshmallow. “You think I don’t get that?” he says softly. “I felt the same pressure as leader. Why else do you think I was always a step behind the rest of you, always up hours after you were all asleep? I had to work harder for you guys, stay behind you to make sure you didn’t fall.”
Jonghyun leans back slightly to look at his friend. “Wow, that sounds… really cheesy.”
Jinki knocks Jonghyun with his shoulder. “Shut up douchebag. It’s true.” He pauses. “I get it. Why do you think I’m out here now? I deserve this. I deserve to have a break.” He looks hard at Jonghyun, as if trying to impress to Jonghyun the importance of his words. “And so do you. You deserve this, Jonghyun.”
Jonghyun hums, eyes downcast as the last vestiges of light disappear. “Th-” he starts, but coughs, clearing his throat. It’s silly. He shouldn’t have to hold back tears. “Thanks, hyung,” he says finally, softly, unsure.
“You do,” Jinki insists.
Jonghyun just nods and allows Jinki to pull him into his side.
--
A few mornings later, instead of eating breakfast, Jinki forces Jonghyun out of bed at an ungodly hour and wrestles a jacket over Jonghyun’s pajamas before stuffing something long and thin into his hands and pulling him down the dirt path into the forest. Jonghyun lets himself be lead, eyes still glued shut as he grips whatever it is that Jinki’s given him.
“Watch out for the log,” Jinki says, his voice breaking through the early morning hush. Jonghyun just carries on holding onto Jinki’s shirt, letting Jinki lead him, smelling the burnt remnants of the campfire from the night before.
After a few more minutes of tripping over various rocks and sticks, Jinki finally brings Jonghyun to a halt. “C’mon Jjong, open your eyes,” he coaxes, causing Jonghyun to grumble as he does so.
He’s met by the sight of a small ravine, and a long black fishing rod in his hand.
“What the fuck?” he asks slowly, his mind still taking a moment to connect the dots.
“We’re gonna catch our own lunch!” Jinki announces triumphantly. “It’ll be awesome, Jonghyun, I promise.”
Jonghyun watches as Jinki dumps his own rod down onto the soil, placing the box full of fishing equipment down next to it. “So you’ve done this before?”
Jinki laughs sheepishly. “Well, not exactly.” Jonghyun gapes. “Don’t look at me like that! The old guy who sold me this place told me that this was a really good fishing spot.”
Jonghyun raises an eyebrow before slumping onto a nearby rock with a sigh. “You realize he was just trying to get you to buy the house,” he grumbles, fiddling with his rod, checking the hook. “You’re so gullible.”
Jinki pokes his tongue out at his friend. “You’re just scared I’m gonna catch more fish than you,” Jinki replies. He picks up his own rod, before looking at it in confusion. “Uh, Jonghyun?” he asks tentatively.
“What?”
“How do I, uh, use a fishing rod?”
Jonghyun looks up at Jinki incredulously. “Oh my God, are you actually kidding me?”
Jinki smiles brightly. “Um. Yes?”
Jonghyun narrows his eyes before giving a snort. “No you’re not, dork. Give it to me and I’ll show you, okay?”
Jinki bounds over and hands him the rod. “Thanks, Jjong.”
Jonghyun sends him a bemused look. “What for, hyung?”
“For looking after me,” he answers, before furrowing his brow and adding, “And I’m not just talking about the fishing rod.”
Jonghyun blushes and ducks his head, smiling softly. “You don’t need to thank me for that. I’ll always have your back. You know that.”
“I know.”
Jonghyun struggles with the fishing line before pausing and squinting up at his friend. “We really should stop having these chick flick moments.”
“We’re acting like total girls, aren’t we?” Jinki asks.
“Yeah.”
They both grimace. “I was afraid of that,” Jinki mutters.
--
“Holy shit, the water’s cold!” Jonghyun shrieks, scrabbling back out of the stream, Jinki’s laughter reaching his ears. “Why did you tell me that it was warm?”
“Stop being such a baby,” Jinki teases, pushing his wet hair away from his forehead, causing Jonghyun to stop and stare for a moment. And gulp. And then look away in embarrassment.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” Jinki asks worriedly, pawing at his cheeks and checking his hands.
“No, no,” Jonghyun assures him, tripping over the fishing equipment. “It’s nothing.”
Jinki giggles again. “You’re making me blush, dude. I’m too old for that kind of thing.”
Jonghyun shakes his head bashfully. “Sorry.”
Jinki wades over to the edge, leaning against the grassy bank. He looks up at Jonghyun, squinting slightly against the sun. “You sure it’s nothing?” he asks, biting his lip.
Jonghyun laughs breathlessly because it feels like he’s traveled back in time, and he’s looking at Jinki all over again, thinking, Should I tell him?
He kneels against the ground and, after a moment of indecision, bends down, capturing Jinki’s lips in his own. Jinki’s breath hitches and his mouth parts, inviting Jonghyun in, the taste of river water and the tang of the gummy worms they’d eaten earlier working it’s way along Jonghyun’s tongue.
“Oh,” Jinki whispers after Jonghyun pulls away.
“Oh?” Jonghyun repeats with a smirk.
“What about Se-” Jinki starts, but cuts himself off. “You know what? Never mind.”
“Okay,” Jonghyun replies softly, before bending down and kissing him again quickly. “What do you say about skipping lunch and going back to bed?”
Jinki grins.
--
When Jonghyun slinks into Jinki’s bed the next evening, back from his run (Minho had converted him to the ways of exercise shortly after his twenty-fifth birthday), he finds him sitting on the edge of his bed, toweling his hair dry, a few droplets seeping through the cotton of his pants.
Jinki looks up when the door opens. “Hey,” he says, muffled by the towel. He rubs his head vigorously for a few more seconds before dropping it into his lap. “How was your run?”
Jonghyun collapses down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he replies, “Good.” The conversation lulls, bit it’s still comfortable. Jonghyun idly pokes a finger into Jinki’s side.
“Stop it!” Jinki orders, squirming and laughing as Jonghyun pulls him down to his side and presses his nose to the man’s neck.
“Mmm, you smell good. Clean,” Jonghyun mumbles into Jinki’s skin.
“I’m sure that’s a novelty for you, mister my-musk-is-sexy.”
“It is,” Jonghyun insists with a pout.
“Sure,” Jinki drawls, but there’s a grin on his lips, and Jonghyun’s pretty sure that the perfect way to end the day would be to flip Jinki onto his back and fuck him until he sees stars. And since they’d started sleeping together again, Jonghyun feels rather inclined to run with that idea.
Jonghyun doesn’t reply, merely rolling on top of his best friend, smirking down at him.
“You’re gonna pay for calling me smelly,” he remarks ominously, hands creeping down Jinki’s side, sweeping under the thick cotton shirt he’s pulled on.
“You just can’t take the truth,” Jinki gasps, wriggling and squirming under Jonghyun’s weight. “Get off me, Jjong.”
“Get off? Certainly,” Jonghyun leers.
Jinki giggles. “Oh my God, you sound like a B-rated porno, you douchebag.” He wriggles farther away from the edge of the bed, until he finds his head pillowed by his cushions, alleviating the stress on his neck.
“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Jonghyun carries on, regardless. Because he can. They’re not fumbling teenagers anymore, unsure and uncomfortable in their own skin. Jonghyun laves at a small scar along Jinki’s chest, humming in approval.
“Wait, wait,” Jinki gasps out as Jonghyun starts rolling his hips slowly against Jinki’s thigh. “Top drawer,” he supplies when Jonghyun throws him a questioning look.
Jonghyun nods quickly in understanding and anticipation before through the drawer. He stills. “Look at what I’ve found,” he crows.
Jinki turns, unsure what to expect. Jonghyun shakes a little brown bottle in front of his nose, Jinki’s eyes crossing slightly at the motion.
“I didn’t know you still kept some of this around,” Jonghyun remarks fondly, thinking back to earlier days, when they’d been so breathless with excitement, believing that they were rebels, they were different, despite already being part of a system that kept them in a stranglehold.
“Christ, Jjong, it’s just some poppers,” Jinki huffs, making a wild grab for the bottle with the hand that wasn’t pinned under Jonghyun’s torso.
“Nuh uh,” Jonghyun purrs, shaking his head. He unscrews the cap and motions at Jinki, who rolls his eyes before leaning across and sniffing, Jonghyun doing the same.
He then places the bottle back on the side. “You know you shouldn’t sniff poppers,” he whispers, palming Jinki through his pants.
“And why’s that?” Jinki replies breathlessly.
“It lowers your inhibitions,” Jonghyun replies smartly, feeling Jinki’s heart race beneath his breastbone.
“Is that why I’m sleeping with you?” Jinki jokes, freeing his arms and using them to draw Jonghyun closer, bringing him down for a heated kiss.
“No,” Jonghyun murmurs gleefully, his mouth moving against Jinki’s, the air between them hot. “It’s because we love each other.” It feels so liberating to say it.
Jinki bucks at the comment. “Then why don’t you show me just how much you love me, huh?”
Jonghyun’s grin turns feral. “Of course.”
--
It only occurs to Jinki to ask after their fifth week together, while they’re shooting jellybeans into his fruit bowl from the sofa.
“Did you tell Sekyung where you were going?” It’s the first time he’s mentioned her since they got back together.
Jonghyun misses his next shot.
After a moment’s hesitation, he replies, “No.”
“Do you want to let her know where you are?” Jinki asks, eyes focused on the bowl.
“I thought you said you didn’t have a phone.”
Jinki looks over and steals one of Jonghyun’s jellybeans, popping it into his mouth. “I don’t. But I have to go grocery shopping soon, anyway, and there’s a payphone in town.”
They sit in silence for a while longer, the only sound the hollow thunk made by each jellybean that finds its way into the bowl.
“I’ll come shopping with you,” Jonghyun says finally, “But I don’t think I’ll call.” Another jellybean makes it into the bowl. “Not yet.”
Jinki nods. “If that’s what you want, Jonghyun.”
--
“And whatever you do,” Jinki warns, “Run like hell if you see hobo Bob.”
Jonghyun laughs, scratching his neck. “You have a town drunk called hobo Bob?”
Jinki looks at him seriously, kneeling down to lock their bicycles to the railing. “Don’t mock the hobo.”
Jonghyun holds his hands up. “Don’t worry hyung, I won’t bait the stupid hobo, okay?” he asks, rubbing his eyes and squinting up at the few clouds drifting through the sky. “But I don’t see why I can’t come into the supermarket with you.”
“We’ll attract too much attention,” Jinki answers, pulling the brim of Jonghyun’s hat down. “Now wait out here while I go get the food and stuff.”
“Will do,” Jonghyun replies tritely. “I’ll just sit out here and be bored and hot and sweaty.”
Jinki looks around distractedly before tucking the keys into his back pocket. “You do that,” he mutters, before heading inside.
“Hey!” Jonghyun calls after him. “See if they’ve got any pie!”
Jinki looks back at him, his face exasperated, before walking into the store.
Jonghyun leans forward to look through the glass doors. “Bring me some pie!” he calls out insistently. Even though he can’t see Jinki’s face, he’s pretty sure that he’s rolling his eyes at him. Jonghyun smirks.
--
After twenty minutes, Jonghyun decides that enough is enough, and Jinki should really have finished shopping already. The store isn’t that big, and he’s been waiting outside in the heat, wary of curious by-passers and rabid hobos.
Well, no more!
Determined, Jonghyun stalks through the automatic doors, silently thankful for the cool air blasting against his face. He just wants to find Jinki and get back home. After weeks in isolation, he isn’t comfortable, even though the crowds are thin and relatively quiet.
“Jinki?” he hisses down the first aisle, but only a startled old woman meets his gaze. “Jinki?” he calls again, turning on the spot. No reply.
Grumbling, Jonghyun checks aisle after aisle, until he reached the newspaper stand.
Singer Kim Jonghyun still missing! reads one headline. Jonghyun flinches, tugging his hat down self-consciously. He turns on his heel to walk away when another headline catches his eyes.
Friends and family send out plea for singer to return home.
Fuck.
--
Jonghyun decides at a really illogical moment that he should tell Jinki about getting back to Seoul and facing the music.
“You want to go now?” Jinki asks disbelievingly, reaching with his left leg to touch the red spot on the mat. He leaves the “What about me?” unsaid.
“Yeah,” Jonghyun replies glumly. “After this I should go get my bag and start heading back.”
Jinki spins the wheel and tells Jonghyun, “Right hand to blue.” Jonghyun complies. “Wait,” Jinki says, slightly breathless from the position he’s in. “How did playing Twister convince you that you need to go back to work?”
”I don’t know,” Jonghyun says, his voice straining as he goes to spin the wheel.
“Shouldn’t you at least wait for your hair to grow back?” Jinki asks desperately, motioning at the shaved strip on the side of Jonghyun’s head, an attempt at styling gone wrong on a lazy afternoon.
Jonghyun smiles brightly at his friend. “I’ll just blame it on you. And anyways, I’m kinda growing attached to it. Left hand green.”
“What?”
“Left hand green.”
“Oh,” Jinki mutters, before dropping onto his stomach, frowning at Jonghyun’s crows of triumph. “Is it because…” he starts, unsure. “Is it because of us? Is that why you’re going back?”
Jonghyun drops down beside him. “Of course not hyung,” he says softly, carding a hand through Jinki’s hair, loving the silky texture. “But. You knew this wouldn’t last forever, right? I’ve gotta go back sometime.”
“And Sekyung?” Jinki mutters, no bothering to hide the jealousy in his voice.
“We’re getting married, hyung,” Jonghyun replies simply, his voice soft, like he doesn’t want to hurt Jinki. He tries not to think back to all the traded kisses and whispered I love you’s passing between them over the past couple of weeks. He can’t afford to think about that now. He needs to be realistic.
Jinki stiffens, before picking himself up off the floor angrily and dusting off the dirt on his clothes. “You can see yourself out,” he says, voice hard and unforgiving. He really should have learnt his lesson after the first time Jonghyun had done this to him. He stalks out of the room, accidentally pushing a forgotten bowl of chips to the ground.
He leaves Jonghyun to clear up the mess.
--
When Jonghyun arrives back at work, he’s immediately pulled into his manager’s office, people yelling at him from all sides, waving pieces of paper in his face that mean nothing to him. He shrugs it off, tells them that he’s going to get something to eat, and walks out, leaving them speechless.
Taemin pulls him to the side before he gets to the elevator.
“What happened to you?” he asks, his brows pulled down in worry. “I tried calling, and Kibum went over to your house, like, a hundred times.”
“I went away,” Jonghyun says simply, schooling his features. If he thinks about Jinki for too long, his eyes start watering and his head hurts.
“Six weeks, hyung,” Taemin reminds him. “You were gone for six weeks. You didn’t even tell management. Where the hell did you go?”
Jonghyun tries to shake him off, but the younger man refuses to let him go.
“I was at Jinki’s, okay?” Jonghyun hisses and, right on cue, he can feel the backs of his eyes stinging. “I was staying with him.”
Taemin’s eyes widen in something close to understanding. “But… you’re back now? For good?”
Jonghyun nods, clearing his throat, not trusting himself to speak.
“And hyung? He didn’t come back with you?”
“No, he didn’t,” Jonghyun manages to choke out.
Sensing his friend’s distress, Taemin lets him go, rubbing his hands against the sides of his legs awkwardly. “Well, okay then,” he says softly.
Jonghyun takes the opportunity to escape.
--
It only takes a week before Jonghyun feels like he’s suffocating, all over again. Drowning in his own unhappiness. Working for fifteen hours a day, blinding lights, stuffy rooms.
“Fuck,” he mutters, throwing his coffee into the trash. His manager looks up from his phone, wary. Everyone’s been looking at him warily since he came back. Taemin is the only person who knows where he went.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Jonghyun replies with a tight smile, the stench of perfume from the girl group next door cloying. Nothing like the smell of fresh grass and barbecue. Nothing like Jinki.
Jinki.
What had he said?
You deserve this.
He’d told Jonghyun that he deserved a break. He deserved not to be run to the ground every day, throat sore, neck aching.
Jonghyun clears his throat, before looking back at his manager. “Actually, no. Everything’s not alright.” He clenches his fists, steels himself. He’s really going to do this. “We need to talk.”
--
When Kibum arrives late the same evening, with Minho and Taemin in tow, intent on questioning Jonghyun relentlessly about his sudden departure from SM, they find him sitting on the floor, back against his sofa, surrounded by shards of glass and what appears to be pieces of meat.
“What the fuck happened here?” Kibum asks incredulously, eyeing the stain in Jonghyun’s cream colored carpet with horror. Jonghyun doesn’t reply, just stares blankly ahead, much to his friend’s chagrin.
Kneeling down beside Jonghyun, Kibum gestures at the other two to clean up, Taemin hurrying to the kitchen to get the broom while Minho heads to the bathroom for towels. The food isn’t just all over the floor, but also covering Jonghyun as well.
“What happened here, Jjong?” Kibum asks, softer this time, bringing a hesitant hand to Jonghyun’s shoulder, causing him to stiffen.
Slowly, Jonghyun looks across at his friend, his face haggard. “I broke up with Sekyung,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse. He coughs, rubbing at his throat with a grimace. “Sorry,” he says, “I’ve been shouting a lot.”
Kibum laughs gently, sliding down beside him. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”
Minho returns with a towel, Taemin quietly sweeping up the broken glass. Jonghyun gestures around him.
“It’s my fault that I told her it was over while she was holding ramyun.”
Minho chuckles. “Rookie move,” he mutters, trying to lighten the mood as he gently towels Jonghyun’s shoulders dry.
“Tell me about it,” Jonghyun replies flatly.
Kibum smiles briefly. “But… Why?”
Jonghyun doesn’t reply straight away, choosing to stare blankly out of the window again. Kibum doesn’t push him.
“I’m gonna ask Jinki if he’ll take me back,” Jonghyun says quietly after a few minutes.
“Jinki?” Kibum asks, confused, while Taemin just ducks his head and smiles quietly.
“Yeah. Um, so, you guys won’t be able to reach me for a while. But I’ll call you when I’ve sorted everything out,” Jonghyun carries on earnestly.
“What about your contract?” Minho asks, now moving on to drying Jonghyun’s hair.
“I’ve already made arrangements,” Jonghyun answers. “Paid compensation, agreed to certain terms. Not a big deal.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
Jonghyun grins, and the concern in Kibum’s chest lessens. “It’s because I’m awesome.”
“Douchebag,” Taemin mutters, making them all to laugh.
--
This time, Jonghyun’s planned everything. He’s got his iPod and wallet, plus his phone, not to mention the two large duffel bags laying on the ground beside him. He’s covered, once again, with sweat and dust, and his pulse his racing.
He knocks on the door a second time.
There is no yell from inside, no rush to the door. It opens slowly, Jinki’s haggard face peering out of the dark.
“Jjong?” he asks meekly, and Jonghyun’s heart is stuck in his throat and he just hopes he isn’t too late.
“I was wondering…” Jonghyun starts, pushing the door wide open, causing Jinki to blink rapidly in the sudden sunlight. “If we could just go back to how it was.”
“Huh?” Jinki asks, dumbfounded, his eyes widening.
Jonghyun pulls him into his arms tightly, and whispers into his ear, “Take me back. I promise you won’t regret it this time, hyung. I’ll… I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. We deserve this.”
Jinki laughs suddenly, awkwardly, like he hasn’t used his voice in a while and pulls him inside.
“We’re not going back to how it was,” he tells Jonghyun, who gives him a confused look. “This time, it’s gonna be better.”
Jonghyun grins and cradles Jinki’s head as he pulls him in for a kiss. “Promise?” he whispers against Jinki’s lips.
“Promise.”
Poll Round 2: how not to run away from home (the america song)