Round 2: Make a wish
Title: Make a wish
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-16
Fandom: DBSK
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Summary: “Wishes never come true do they?”
Prompt Used: 2AM - You Wouldn’t Answer My Calls
Yunho groaned and shifted in his bed, his blanket rustling in the still night and his bones cracked as he twisted around. He and Changmin just finished pre recording She and Maximum, the both of them spending a good three hours breaking down the dance for Keep Your Head down. Changmin’s voice kept cracking during his long notes like a premature boy and Yunho just wasn’t focusing. All in all, it was a rather shitty day and he was in no mood to be awake in the middle of the night because his cell phone wouldn’t stop vibrating. He fumbled around for the device and flipped it open, the screen washing the room with a faint blue light. He squinted at the small box that read New Message from [---].
He clicked the ok button to view it and the screen flashed again, a new box opened up and a simple sentence typed across it.
[---]
Hey… u there?
Yunho sat up and quickly replied back.
[U-Know Yunho]
Jae? Yeah I’m up. What are u doing? It’s 3 am.
He clicked send and sank back into his bed, his hand pressing the cell phone to his chest as he waited for a response. A few minutes later, his hands tingled with the vibration and he opened the message box again.
[---]
Don’t use my name u idiot. Do u want sm to get in our business again???? and what r u doing up?
Yunho groaned and nearly snapped his cell phone close without replying back. Jaejoong has always been like this ever since they split up. SM refused to have the two get in contact whatsoever and Yunho took it into his own hands to sneak in a small non modeled brand cell phone to Jaejoong so they can at least text once in a while. Heaven knows what will happen if their managers found out. But Yunho made sure to keep everything quiet. Even Changmin didn’t know what was going on and he has been by Yunho’s side like glue for the past three months.
[U-Know Yunho]
srry. You woke me up pabo.
[---]
oh… I just wanted to talk. It’s nothin rly.
Yunho frowned. Jaejoong never really wanted to “talk” before. He usually kept quiet except for the rare occasion when he texted Yunho to check up on him or vice versa. The keyboard clicked as Yunho responded back.
[U-Know Yunho]
what do u want to talk about?
[---]
Did u make it?
[U-Know Yunho]
… make wat?
[---]
11:11
His fingers twitched over the keyboard.
[U-Know Yunho]
Oh, I missed it. Srry gtg. Sleepy. Night.
He slapped his cell phone close and tossed it on his bedside table without a second glance. He crawled back under his sheets and squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to calm his head and to drift away, away from everything that has happened, away from Jaejoong, away from the memories he kept bringing back.
--
“Jaejoong…?” Yoochun slipped out the window and joined his hyung out on the balcony. “It’s late, what are you doing out here?”
Jaejoong merely shrugged, his eyes scanning over the city lights that stretched out below them, the headlights of cars luminous zigzags across the black expanse of the city ground. Stars dotted the night sky and the moon shined over them, the dark pockets seeming like holes torn through the large expanse of white.
“Hyung… you miss them don’t you?” Yoochun shuffled closer, leaning over the railing as he stared out at the immense stretch of city life, bending his neck back to glance at the stars, and peeked at Jaejoong from the corner of his eyes. The elder stood there with his elbows perched on the railing, his fingers tangled together and he bowed his head, a long sigh escaping his lips, and he pushed himself off the railing. He glanced at his watch.
“Hey… you would think someone my age don’t believe in those entire make a wish stuff now wouldn’t you?”
Yoochun, taken back from the question, stuttered, “I-I don’t know. I guess it all depends on the person really. I mean… I believe it.” He chuckled. “I wished to be in a group with the best people in the world next to me, fulfilling the same dream and achieving the same goals,” he smiled, “and look what happened.”
Jaejoong chuckled. He leaned his back against the railing, pondering as silence filled the void between them. He turned back towards Yoochun who had his eyes closed and was humming a song under his breath.
“But this isn’t what you wished for… was it?” Jaejoong gestured between the two of them, his eyebrows raised as he waited for a response. Yoochun kept his eyes closed but the humming stopped and finally he sighed and pushed away.
“I guess not all wishes come true then,” he smiled sadly before slipping back inside, leaving behind a soft goodnight. Jaejoong nodded to himself, turning back around and resting his elbows on the railing again. Suddenly his watch beeped and he glanced at it, the digits reading 11:11. He scoffed and returned his gaze down at the cityscape below him. Why do I even bother setting the alarm on this time?
“Make a wish.”
--
[flashback]
“Look Jaejoong, let’s go greet our new neighbors!”
The young woman tugged at her son’s hand, gently pulling him forward as she approached the white moving van, stepping to the side occasionally as workers with flaring orange vests carried various decorations and furniture into the house. Young Jaejoong glanced around, a scowl on his face as he sniffed and turned his face away. He didn’t want new neighbors. He liked his old neighbors. They were nice to him and offered him free food whenever he went over to visit. And he heard that the new neighbors had a son around his age. He sulked at the idea of having to share the nearby playground’s swings with someone else.
At another tug from his mother’s hand, Jaejoong focused his attention finally on the pair that stood in front of the doorway. His eyes zeroed in on the small figure hiding behind a pair of slim legs, the small hands fisted in the long skirt and his sharp eyes peaking from behind the fabric.
“Jaejoong, say hi to our new neighbors. This is Jung Yunho, he’s about a year younger than you,” his mother whispered quietly into his ear before she stepped forward and shook hands with the other woman warmly, smiling and laughing as she turned her back to Jaejoong, leaving him in the middle of the steps glaring at the skinny boy across from him.
“Jaejoong, don’t be rude now. Come here,” his mother finally turned around after exchanging some pleasantries with Mrs. Jung and grabbed his hand, jerking him forward and finally got him to trudge to the front door. “Be nice to Yunho, he’s new here. You two will be great friends ok?”
Jaejoong merely huffed and crossed his arms stubbornly, refusing to make eye contact with the boy in front of him. His mother sighed and finally left the two of them alone, walking into the new house with the new neighbor, chatting and smiling about nothing in particular.
Silence passed by the two boys outside, one glaring and the other curious. Finally, Yunho, who was bouncing on his tiptoes the whole time, spoke up.
“You’re pretty.”
Jaejoong glanced up, his eyes widening a fraction in surprise as he stared at the boy in front of him. No one has called him pretty before and for some reason he didn’t quite mind it as much as he thought he should. But he glared nonetheless, crossing his arms even tighter and snapped back.
“Yah! You don’t just go around and call people pretty. I’m a guy and guys aren’t supposed to be pretty.”
Yunho stood still, his head bowed as he stared down at his worn out sneakers with his frayed shoe laces and Jaejoong thought he had hurt the other boy’s feelings and before he can even think about taking back his words Yunho picked his head back up, a bright smile lighting his face.
“You’re cute then. Boys can be cute right?” His toothy smile stunned Jaejoong for a moment and he scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks flaring for just a moment before he replied back somewhat hesitantly.
“I-I guess so…? Well, I think you’re pretty cute too,” he laughed and finally uncrossed his arms, letting them swing by his side as he rocked back and forth on his heels, a shy smile gracing his pink lips. Yunho’s face brightened at that and he suddenly stepped forward and grabbed Jaejoong’s wrist, pulling Jaejoong after him as he ran down the steps and down the street.
“Come on, I heard there’s a playground around here! Let’s go on the swings!”
Jaejoong laughed, his voice ringing throughout the neighborhood as the previous thoughts of never sharing the swings with another boy was shoved away from his mind and he and Yunho spent all day pushing each other back and forth until the sun set and dusk fell upon them. Their mothers called out their names and the two parted with smiles on their face, each promising to return tomorrow.
--
“Why do you think they did it hyung?”
Yunho looked up from his bowl of ramen; chopsticks paused in midair halfway to his mouth with strings of noodles dangling from them as he frowned at Changmin in confusion. The younger one sat across him, his ramen forgotten in his hands and the steam fading away.
“Did what?” Yunho asked and set down his bowl and wiped his hands on a clean napkin. Changmin bit his lower lip and followed suit, placing his bowl next to Yunho’s and sighed.
“Leaving us. Leaving SM. Leaving Korea… Where did we go wrong?”
Yunho’s mouth pulled into a thin line. The both of them knew that the question wasn’t only directed to the two… rather it seemed to question all five of them. Where did they go wrong?
“No we didn’t do anything wrong Changmin-ah,” Yunho smiled softly, reaching over to ruffle his partner’s hair. “They were tired… of all this. That’s all.”
“Then why aren’t we tired of it…?” Changmin ducked his head under Yunho’s hand, gently knocking it away. Yunho sighed and pulled his arm back, intertwining his fingers together on his lap.
These were the questions they always avoided. It was like poison to their systems and it brought back the gray clouds they hid away from ever since the break up. It was like a heavy blanket, floating above their heads as they went along their days, waiting to fall and smother them as soon as one of them ever brought up a hint of it.
“They’re saying we’re trapped here… that we’re puppets,” Changmin murmured, his hand running down his face as he sighed and leaned back into the couch. Yunho chuckled softly and stood up, brushing his hands lightly on his jeans before he walked to the back of the couch and patted Changming on the shoulder. The younger one looked up, a small smile of gratitude on his lips but it quickly turned bitter as he looked forward again, his eyes falling on the empty CD case that was sitting next to Yunho, the cover of all five of them glaring back at him and he sighed, reaching over the table and flipping the case over facedown.
“It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this…” he whispered, a small tremor in his voice. Yunho rubbed Changmin’s shoulder reassuringly. “This wasn’t what I wished for.”
“Not all wishes come true I guess,” Yunho said. Changmin barked out a cold laugh, his smile never reaching his eyes as he stood up and Yunho’s hand slid off his shoulder. “Sometimes I wonder if we really were together for the same dream…”
Yunho could only nod and walked away towards their dorm. He passed the clock that was hanging high on the wall, the long hands ticking and moving, counting away the seconds spent pondering and torturing himself over this pathetic question.
11:12
--
[---]
did u have a good dinner???
[U-Know Yunho]
yeah
[---]
oh ok… that’s good.
Yunho sighed as he read the textbox on his phone, the small screen glaring at him as he squinted at the luminous light in the darkness of his room. The texts were becoming more infrequent, more random, and more distant. Jaejoong will ask how his day went and Yunho will summarize all 13 hours of his day spent in about three words and that’s that.
Nothing special. They were just empty.
[---]
hey… you remember back then? the sleepovers? i hope u still do
Yunho frowned. Since when did Jaejoong want to talk about sleepovers? Then he remembered.
--
“Jaejoong, how the hell did you get in here?!”
Yunho scrambled back on his bed, pulling the sheets up to his chest, and his head banged against the wall. He stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him; the moon casted a faint a blue line around him and the rest was all dark.
Jaejoong shifted and sat nervously on the bed, his fingers skating across the blanket until it met with Yunho’s knees. Yunho shivered as Jaejoong’s cold fingers pressed into his skin, goose bumps rising on his arms and the hair at the back of his neck stood up.
“Yunho-ah… I can stay here for the night?”
Yunho gaped, and before he could pull himself together, Jaejoong crawled under the blanket, laying down on his side right next to Yunho and pulled the cover up over his shoulder. Yunho hesitated but then slowly sank down and rested his head on the pillow next to Jaejoong, keeping a safe distance away but close enough to make out the details. He heard the boy’s silent breathing and felt the warmth radiating from his body. His eyes roved over his face, tracing the accented cheekbones and the perfect cupid lips, the straight nose and the thick eyelashes.
It was the first time Yunho felt as if his heart has stopped, that the world has stopped moving for those precious seconds he kept his eyes wide open, taking in the beauty of the boy besides him and as fatigue washed over him, he remembered pressing his lips tenderly to the fragile boy’s forehead, his dark honey hair tickling his nose and the rest was lost to thoughtless sleep.
It became a routine for them.
Now in high school, the two only had time to be with each other in school, passing by each other in the hallway and occasionally bumping shoulders in the cafeteria. But at night, Jaejoong always slipped through the window of Yunho’s room, stealthily make his way to the bed and slipping in everyday. Yunho always waited for him, always smiled when he saw Jaejoong settled in next to him and he made sure to stay awake until Jaejoong fell asleep first and every night, he pressed a light kiss on his temples, loving the way he could feel the other’s heartbeat thrum under the skin and he’d brush away the dark bangs to reveal the beautiful eyes beneath them.
And so Yunho fell in love.
--
“Yah, Jaejoong what’s up with this eleven eleven thing?” Yunho asked through a mouthful of fried rice one day, waving a spoon in the air as he glanced curiously at the older boy. Jaejoong laughed, stabbing at his salad with a fork before answering.
“It’s this stupid wish thing. Supposedly on the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 2011 and exactly at 11:11 pm you make a wish and it will come true. And now people are saying if you make a wish at 11:11 on any day, it’ll come true. It’s all fake and ridiculous of course but I guess the crowd has to have some fun.”
Yunho nodded thoughtfully. He didn’t think it was stupid, rather, he thought it was actually kind of nice. It was like having hope of some sort, hoping that whatever you were dreaming for will have a chance to be granted every single day.
“It doesn’t sound too bad… who knows maybe it does work,” Yunho threw Jaejoong a cheeky grin and laughed when the other flicked his finger against his shoulder, pushing at him playfully as the two laughed in mirth.
“Ah… maybe it’ll work for you. But bad lucks always on my side,” Jaejoong chuckled, flinging a piece of lettuce at Yunho’s face. Yunho smacked it away easily, laughing at Jaejoong’s pout and he shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. Your wishes are bound to come true one way or the other. I guess the 11:11 thing will just be a lot easier to use.”
And so Yunho made sure that every night, when the two are snuggled deep underneath the soft covers of his bed, at 11:11 he would make a wish. It was a secret of course; it was silent, wistful wishing. It was just wishes for his driver’s license; it was wishes for new presents, new laptop and iPod. But Jaejoong caught him and he didn’t laugh; no, he merely smiled and patted Yunho gently on the shoulder, encouraging him to keep wishing, to keep wanting to achieve his dreams.
And Yunho wished for his first kiss, his first love, his first partner of life, and for a friendship that will last beyond the ends of the earth.
--
Your heart is empty
And you’re so cold
You don’t care about you and I
Your heart is empty
Jaejoong felt his headphones grow heavier, like a thousand leaden silvers being dumped on his head, and he sighed into the microphone, his hands reaching up to tug at his headphones and pulled them off, setting them on the stand in front of him. He saw the members glance at him with concern from the window that separated the recording room and the studio but he ignored them and started stretching his arms across his chest.
“Jaejoong-ah, is something the matter?” the thick voice filtered through the speaker in the recording room and Jaejoong wanted to cut it off, wanted to cover his ears and mute everything. He shook his head, rested his hands on his hip and blew out a shaky breath, his cheeks puffing out as he placed his headphones back on.
“It’s nothing… the lyrics threw me off a little that’s all.”
He saw the manager nod his head, somewhat hesitantly, and signaled to the technician to start recording again. Jaejoong closed his eyes as he let the music wash over him, flooding him through the headphones and he opened his mouth to sing the lyrics that made his heart break so easily and bitterly.
Your heart is gone
My heart is strong
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
--
“Let’s audition. Together”
Yunho rolled his head over, his eyes squinting to make out the faint outline of Jaejoong’s head on his pillow. It’s been almost a year now and the two have been sharing the same bed every day without a break. Yunho has found out about the tight tension between Jaejoong’s parents and the fights that broke out every night that drove the boy to escape to Yunho’s room for comfort.
For love.
“Audition? As in… singing and dancing and stuff?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he stifled a yawn, drowsy tears prickling his eyes as he rubbed his lids. “Yeah… you know for SME or JYP or such. We both love singing, well you’re more into rapping, and we’re both decently good at it… so why not try it?”
Yunho pondered on his, his eyes drifting to the ceiling as he chewed on his lower lip. He couldn’t deny the truth in Jaejoong’s words and he found himself smiling at the indirect compliment on his rapping skills.
Suddenly, a small beep came from the watch on Yunho’s wrist and the pair flinched at the sharp sound. Yunho tapped Jaejoong on the shoulder quickly seeing that the other boy has fallen asleep and whispered, “Hurry, make a wish!”
“Wait what…”
“Just make one!”
Yunho squeezed his eyes shut; clapping his hands together as if in prayer and focused all his mental energy on his wish.
To be with Jaejoong and achieve the same dreams together.
He peaked over at Jaejoong who also had his eyes closed but he could tell it was not because of sleep. His eyes traced the slope of Jaejoong’s neck, the sharp collarbone and the prominent shoulder blade.
To be with Jaejoong forever…
“What did you wish for?” He felt the other boy shift, snuggling in closer to his side and Yunho felt his body temperature spike, his cheek flush hot and red.
“Uh um… It’s not going to come true if I say it out loud.”
Jaejoong pouted - Yunho’s heart was racing madly - and whined, “Come on you couldn’t possibly believe in that one. Tell me! Please?”
Being a sucker for puppy eyes, Yunho sighed and gave in. “It’s… it’s to audition successfully and make it into a good company,” he stuttered out, words tripping over each other as he rushed through it and held his breath.
Jaejoong only smiled and pressed himself closer towards Yunho. “That’s it? After all those 11:11’s that has passed, I’m pretty sure that’s not all you’ve wished for right?”
Yunho frowned. “Well… tell me what you wished for too. This isn’t fair, only hearing what I want.”
Jaejoong laughed and rolled on his back, breaking away from Yunho and pulled the cover up to this chin.
“Ok… I wished that I would make it in SM Entertainment.”
“Oh that’s where you want to go?” Yunho raised an eyebrow.
Jaejoong shrugged. “I’ve been a fan of some of their groups. And most of the people they release out there make it big. Look at BoA.”
Yunho smiled, loving the way Jaejoong’s eyes seem to light up whenever he talked about these sorts of things. It set something in him that he never knew was there. A fire of sorts, the deep fire that was buried and now all the barriers were removed.
“I wished for a new car,” he blurted out. Jaejoong laughed, his body shaking with mirth as he rolled over to his side again. “Yeah same here. I have my license and yet I can’t even drive anything.”
The two fell into silence again, their heartbeats muted by the blanket and their breaths measured the seconds that walked by.
“I wished for the two of us to make it. Into SM. Together.”
Yunho looked over in surprised when Jaejoong spoke; he had suspected the boy to have fallen asleep by now. But his voice was soft and hushed, as if he was talking to himself.
“I wish to be together through everything Yunho.”
Their hands bumped into each other under the cover and their fingers locked together, palms pressing against each other as Jaejoong pressed his face against Yunho’s shoulder.
“I wish to be with you.”
Jaejoong lifted his face, his eyes searching through Yunho’s dark orbs as he tilted his head, his lips searching frantically and finally, they melted together, skin against skin as Yunho wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s thin waist, pulling him flushed against his body. Their lips molded and shifted, tongues prodding curiously and teeth nipping playfully as the two giggled nervously into each other mouths but neither cared as Yunho traced Jaejoong’s lower lip with the tip of his tongue, eliciting a small mewl from the smaller boy and caution was thrown out the window as the two became one, skin heated against skin, pants and groans matching in sync with each other’s names on their tongue. And as they wrapped themselves around each other in a tangle of sweaty limps, Yunho pressing his face against Jaejoong’s sweet, vanilla-scented locks and Jaejoong’s lips tracing along Yunho’s collarbones, the night grew still again and Yunho casted out one last wish into the night.
Don’t leave me.
--
“Hyung! Come on we’re going to miss our plane!” Changmin yelled as he tugged at his suitcase and draped his jacket over his shoulder, looking back to see Yunho staring off at the fountain with a coin in hand.
“Hyung! We don’t have time for this!”
Yunho glanced over his shoulder, giving Changmin a small wave signaling for him to go ahead without him. The maknae let out a frustrated yell, attracting several faces towards him and stormed off, his tall figure disappearing into the crowd.
Yunho smiled and shook his head before returning his attention back to the fountain. The water was clear and blue; his reflection crystal clear behind all the ripples and Yunho could see the coins that lie on the bottom of the fountain, some rusting and others fairly new.
Lost wishes…
Yunho weighed the coin he has in his hand on his palm, throwing it up and down, catching it softly before holding it still between his fingers and he closed his eyes one last time.
Grant me this one wish. Please… I want everything to go back to the way it’s supposed to be.
“Take me back to Jaejoong,” he muttered under his breath and he flung the coin into the center of the fountain, watching it slip through the water with a soft plop and land along with the other lost wishes at the bottom.
He didn’t know why he continued to stand there, why he waited, why he thought something magical would happen and he would see the light or something. But he felt something tugging at his neck, the hairs standing straight up and he turned around, hardly daring to believe what he saw.
[…]
ur leaving?
[U-Know Yunho]
not permanently. Going to japan to record Japanese album.
[…]
ah…. I see…. I guess I’ll see you later then.
[U-Know Yunho]
later?
[…]
I heard 11:11 am works too
And so he walked forward, his foot taking him without him thinking and he stood there in front of the many hopeless, useless wishes he had made during the many late and still nights of the days.
“Jaejoong…”
The smaller boy smiled, his white teeth gleaming and he also took a step forward, their chests nearly bumping.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Do you remember?”
Yunho chuckled and grabbed Jaejoong by the wrist before pulling him into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and breathing in the vanilla from his hair.
“Yeah... I do. I always did.”
He could feel Jaejoong smiling against his shoulder, his arms reaching up and gently dragging his fingers through Yunho’s hair. “Did you make it?” he murmured.
“Make what?”
“11:11”
Yunho stiffened and glanced at his watch.
11:15
“Shit...” he sighed. Jaejoong chuckled, his body shaking with his laughter as he pulled back but quickly linked his fingers through Yunho’s.
“Don’t worry. I wished for you,” he said, swinging their arms around as he smiled up at Yunho.
And Yunho saw the teenage boy he had fallen in love with, had loved, and still was in love with. And he saw how all the wishes he has placed on this boy come true, the first kiss, the first love, the friendship that will go beyond the ends of this earth. And he saw the wish he had made on that coin- the lost, useless wish- shine through Jaejoong’s smile, through their intertwined fingers and through their intertwined hearts.
[…]
let’s go back to the way it used to be… I’m tired of this
[U-Know Yunho]
I thought you were tired of us
[…]
I will never be tired of you.
[U-Know Yunho]
how r we even going to get back together like this?
[…]
I’ll fix it. I’ll fix everything. I started it all… and I’ll end it all. Trust me.
[U-Know Yunho]
I just want to see you again. See all five of us again.
[…]
you will. I promise.
Poll Round 2: Make a wish
Team: Canon
Rating: PG-16
Fandom: DBSK
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Summary: “Wishes never come true do they?”
Prompt Used: 2AM - You Wouldn’t Answer My Calls
Yunho groaned and shifted in his bed, his blanket rustling in the still night and his bones cracked as he twisted around. He and Changmin just finished pre recording She and Maximum, the both of them spending a good three hours breaking down the dance for Keep Your Head down. Changmin’s voice kept cracking during his long notes like a premature boy and Yunho just wasn’t focusing. All in all, it was a rather shitty day and he was in no mood to be awake in the middle of the night because his cell phone wouldn’t stop vibrating. He fumbled around for the device and flipped it open, the screen washing the room with a faint blue light. He squinted at the small box that read New Message from [---].
He clicked the ok button to view it and the screen flashed again, a new box opened up and a simple sentence typed across it.
[---]
Hey… u there?
Yunho sat up and quickly replied back.
[U-Know Yunho]
Jae? Yeah I’m up. What are u doing? It’s 3 am.
He clicked send and sank back into his bed, his hand pressing the cell phone to his chest as he waited for a response. A few minutes later, his hands tingled with the vibration and he opened the message box again.
[---]
Don’t use my name u idiot. Do u want sm to get in our business again???? and what r u doing up?
Yunho groaned and nearly snapped his cell phone close without replying back. Jaejoong has always been like this ever since they split up. SM refused to have the two get in contact whatsoever and Yunho took it into his own hands to sneak in a small non modeled brand cell phone to Jaejoong so they can at least text once in a while. Heaven knows what will happen if their managers found out. But Yunho made sure to keep everything quiet. Even Changmin didn’t know what was going on and he has been by Yunho’s side like glue for the past three months.
[U-Know Yunho]
srry. You woke me up pabo.
[---]
oh… I just wanted to talk. It’s nothin rly.
Yunho frowned. Jaejoong never really wanted to “talk” before. He usually kept quiet except for the rare occasion when he texted Yunho to check up on him or vice versa. The keyboard clicked as Yunho responded back.
[U-Know Yunho]
what do u want to talk about?
[---]
Did u make it?
[U-Know Yunho]
… make wat?
[---]
11:11
His fingers twitched over the keyboard.
[U-Know Yunho]
Oh, I missed it. Srry gtg. Sleepy. Night.
He slapped his cell phone close and tossed it on his bedside table without a second glance. He crawled back under his sheets and squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to calm his head and to drift away, away from everything that has happened, away from Jaejoong, away from the memories he kept bringing back.
--
“Jaejoong…?” Yoochun slipped out the window and joined his hyung out on the balcony. “It’s late, what are you doing out here?”
Jaejoong merely shrugged, his eyes scanning over the city lights that stretched out below them, the headlights of cars luminous zigzags across the black expanse of the city ground. Stars dotted the night sky and the moon shined over them, the dark pockets seeming like holes torn through the large expanse of white.
“Hyung… you miss them don’t you?” Yoochun shuffled closer, leaning over the railing as he stared out at the immense stretch of city life, bending his neck back to glance at the stars, and peeked at Jaejoong from the corner of his eyes. The elder stood there with his elbows perched on the railing, his fingers tangled together and he bowed his head, a long sigh escaping his lips, and he pushed himself off the railing. He glanced at his watch.
“Hey… you would think someone my age don’t believe in those entire make a wish stuff now wouldn’t you?”
Yoochun, taken back from the question, stuttered, “I-I don’t know. I guess it all depends on the person really. I mean… I believe it.” He chuckled. “I wished to be in a group with the best people in the world next to me, fulfilling the same dream and achieving the same goals,” he smiled, “and look what happened.”
Jaejoong chuckled. He leaned his back against the railing, pondering as silence filled the void between them. He turned back towards Yoochun who had his eyes closed and was humming a song under his breath.
“But this isn’t what you wished for… was it?” Jaejoong gestured between the two of them, his eyebrows raised as he waited for a response. Yoochun kept his eyes closed but the humming stopped and finally he sighed and pushed away.
“I guess not all wishes come true then,” he smiled sadly before slipping back inside, leaving behind a soft goodnight. Jaejoong nodded to himself, turning back around and resting his elbows on the railing again. Suddenly his watch beeped and he glanced at it, the digits reading 11:11. He scoffed and returned his gaze down at the cityscape below him. Why do I even bother setting the alarm on this time?
“Make a wish.”
--
[flashback]
“Look Jaejoong, let’s go greet our new neighbors!”
The young woman tugged at her son’s hand, gently pulling him forward as she approached the white moving van, stepping to the side occasionally as workers with flaring orange vests carried various decorations and furniture into the house. Young Jaejoong glanced around, a scowl on his face as he sniffed and turned his face away. He didn’t want new neighbors. He liked his old neighbors. They were nice to him and offered him free food whenever he went over to visit. And he heard that the new neighbors had a son around his age. He sulked at the idea of having to share the nearby playground’s swings with someone else.
At another tug from his mother’s hand, Jaejoong focused his attention finally on the pair that stood in front of the doorway. His eyes zeroed in on the small figure hiding behind a pair of slim legs, the small hands fisted in the long skirt and his sharp eyes peaking from behind the fabric.
“Jaejoong, say hi to our new neighbors. This is Jung Yunho, he’s about a year younger than you,” his mother whispered quietly into his ear before she stepped forward and shook hands with the other woman warmly, smiling and laughing as she turned her back to Jaejoong, leaving him in the middle of the steps glaring at the skinny boy across from him.
“Jaejoong, don’t be rude now. Come here,” his mother finally turned around after exchanging some pleasantries with Mrs. Jung and grabbed his hand, jerking him forward and finally got him to trudge to the front door. “Be nice to Yunho, he’s new here. You two will be great friends ok?”
Jaejoong merely huffed and crossed his arms stubbornly, refusing to make eye contact with the boy in front of him. His mother sighed and finally left the two of them alone, walking into the new house with the new neighbor, chatting and smiling about nothing in particular.
Silence passed by the two boys outside, one glaring and the other curious. Finally, Yunho, who was bouncing on his tiptoes the whole time, spoke up.
“You’re pretty.”
Jaejoong glanced up, his eyes widening a fraction in surprise as he stared at the boy in front of him. No one has called him pretty before and for some reason he didn’t quite mind it as much as he thought he should. But he glared nonetheless, crossing his arms even tighter and snapped back.
“Yah! You don’t just go around and call people pretty. I’m a guy and guys aren’t supposed to be pretty.”
Yunho stood still, his head bowed as he stared down at his worn out sneakers with his frayed shoe laces and Jaejoong thought he had hurt the other boy’s feelings and before he can even think about taking back his words Yunho picked his head back up, a bright smile lighting his face.
“You’re cute then. Boys can be cute right?” His toothy smile stunned Jaejoong for a moment and he scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks flaring for just a moment before he replied back somewhat hesitantly.
“I-I guess so…? Well, I think you’re pretty cute too,” he laughed and finally uncrossed his arms, letting them swing by his side as he rocked back and forth on his heels, a shy smile gracing his pink lips. Yunho’s face brightened at that and he suddenly stepped forward and grabbed Jaejoong’s wrist, pulling Jaejoong after him as he ran down the steps and down the street.
“Come on, I heard there’s a playground around here! Let’s go on the swings!”
Jaejoong laughed, his voice ringing throughout the neighborhood as the previous thoughts of never sharing the swings with another boy was shoved away from his mind and he and Yunho spent all day pushing each other back and forth until the sun set and dusk fell upon them. Their mothers called out their names and the two parted with smiles on their face, each promising to return tomorrow.
--
“Why do you think they did it hyung?”
Yunho looked up from his bowl of ramen; chopsticks paused in midair halfway to his mouth with strings of noodles dangling from them as he frowned at Changmin in confusion. The younger one sat across him, his ramen forgotten in his hands and the steam fading away.
“Did what?” Yunho asked and set down his bowl and wiped his hands on a clean napkin. Changmin bit his lower lip and followed suit, placing his bowl next to Yunho’s and sighed.
“Leaving us. Leaving SM. Leaving Korea… Where did we go wrong?”
Yunho’s mouth pulled into a thin line. The both of them knew that the question wasn’t only directed to the two… rather it seemed to question all five of them. Where did they go wrong?
“No we didn’t do anything wrong Changmin-ah,” Yunho smiled softly, reaching over to ruffle his partner’s hair. “They were tired… of all this. That’s all.”
“Then why aren’t we tired of it…?” Changmin ducked his head under Yunho’s hand, gently knocking it away. Yunho sighed and pulled his arm back, intertwining his fingers together on his lap.
These were the questions they always avoided. It was like poison to their systems and it brought back the gray clouds they hid away from ever since the break up. It was like a heavy blanket, floating above their heads as they went along their days, waiting to fall and smother them as soon as one of them ever brought up a hint of it.
“They’re saying we’re trapped here… that we’re puppets,” Changmin murmured, his hand running down his face as he sighed and leaned back into the couch. Yunho chuckled softly and stood up, brushing his hands lightly on his jeans before he walked to the back of the couch and patted Changming on the shoulder. The younger one looked up, a small smile of gratitude on his lips but it quickly turned bitter as he looked forward again, his eyes falling on the empty CD case that was sitting next to Yunho, the cover of all five of them glaring back at him and he sighed, reaching over the table and flipping the case over facedown.
“It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this…” he whispered, a small tremor in his voice. Yunho rubbed Changmin’s shoulder reassuringly. “This wasn’t what I wished for.”
“Not all wishes come true I guess,” Yunho said. Changmin barked out a cold laugh, his smile never reaching his eyes as he stood up and Yunho’s hand slid off his shoulder. “Sometimes I wonder if we really were together for the same dream…”
Yunho could only nod and walked away towards their dorm. He passed the clock that was hanging high on the wall, the long hands ticking and moving, counting away the seconds spent pondering and torturing himself over this pathetic question.
11:12
--
[---]
did u have a good dinner???
[U-Know Yunho]
yeah
[---]
oh ok… that’s good.
Yunho sighed as he read the textbox on his phone, the small screen glaring at him as he squinted at the luminous light in the darkness of his room. The texts were becoming more infrequent, more random, and more distant. Jaejoong will ask how his day went and Yunho will summarize all 13 hours of his day spent in about three words and that’s that.
Nothing special. They were just empty.
[---]
hey… you remember back then? the sleepovers? i hope u still do
Yunho frowned. Since when did Jaejoong want to talk about sleepovers? Then he remembered.
--
“Jaejoong, how the hell did you get in here?!”
Yunho scrambled back on his bed, pulling the sheets up to his chest, and his head banged against the wall. He stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him; the moon casted a faint a blue line around him and the rest was all dark.
Jaejoong shifted and sat nervously on the bed, his fingers skating across the blanket until it met with Yunho’s knees. Yunho shivered as Jaejoong’s cold fingers pressed into his skin, goose bumps rising on his arms and the hair at the back of his neck stood up.
“Yunho-ah… I can stay here for the night?”
Yunho gaped, and before he could pull himself together, Jaejoong crawled under the blanket, laying down on his side right next to Yunho and pulled the cover up over his shoulder. Yunho hesitated but then slowly sank down and rested his head on the pillow next to Jaejoong, keeping a safe distance away but close enough to make out the details. He heard the boy’s silent breathing and felt the warmth radiating from his body. His eyes roved over his face, tracing the accented cheekbones and the perfect cupid lips, the straight nose and the thick eyelashes.
It was the first time Yunho felt as if his heart has stopped, that the world has stopped moving for those precious seconds he kept his eyes wide open, taking in the beauty of the boy besides him and as fatigue washed over him, he remembered pressing his lips tenderly to the fragile boy’s forehead, his dark honey hair tickling his nose and the rest was lost to thoughtless sleep.
It became a routine for them.
Now in high school, the two only had time to be with each other in school, passing by each other in the hallway and occasionally bumping shoulders in the cafeteria. But at night, Jaejoong always slipped through the window of Yunho’s room, stealthily make his way to the bed and slipping in everyday. Yunho always waited for him, always smiled when he saw Jaejoong settled in next to him and he made sure to stay awake until Jaejoong fell asleep first and every night, he pressed a light kiss on his temples, loving the way he could feel the other’s heartbeat thrum under the skin and he’d brush away the dark bangs to reveal the beautiful eyes beneath them.
And so Yunho fell in love.
--
“Yah, Jaejoong what’s up with this eleven eleven thing?” Yunho asked through a mouthful of fried rice one day, waving a spoon in the air as he glanced curiously at the older boy. Jaejoong laughed, stabbing at his salad with a fork before answering.
“It’s this stupid wish thing. Supposedly on the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 2011 and exactly at 11:11 pm you make a wish and it will come true. And now people are saying if you make a wish at 11:11 on any day, it’ll come true. It’s all fake and ridiculous of course but I guess the crowd has to have some fun.”
Yunho nodded thoughtfully. He didn’t think it was stupid, rather, he thought it was actually kind of nice. It was like having hope of some sort, hoping that whatever you were dreaming for will have a chance to be granted every single day.
“It doesn’t sound too bad… who knows maybe it does work,” Yunho threw Jaejoong a cheeky grin and laughed when the other flicked his finger against his shoulder, pushing at him playfully as the two laughed in mirth.
“Ah… maybe it’ll work for you. But bad lucks always on my side,” Jaejoong chuckled, flinging a piece of lettuce at Yunho’s face. Yunho smacked it away easily, laughing at Jaejoong’s pout and he shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. Your wishes are bound to come true one way or the other. I guess the 11:11 thing will just be a lot easier to use.”
And so Yunho made sure that every night, when the two are snuggled deep underneath the soft covers of his bed, at 11:11 he would make a wish. It was a secret of course; it was silent, wistful wishing. It was just wishes for his driver’s license; it was wishes for new presents, new laptop and iPod. But Jaejoong caught him and he didn’t laugh; no, he merely smiled and patted Yunho gently on the shoulder, encouraging him to keep wishing, to keep wanting to achieve his dreams.
And Yunho wished for his first kiss, his first love, his first partner of life, and for a friendship that will last beyond the ends of the earth.
--
Your heart is empty
And you’re so cold
You don’t care about you and I
Your heart is empty
Jaejoong felt his headphones grow heavier, like a thousand leaden silvers being dumped on his head, and he sighed into the microphone, his hands reaching up to tug at his headphones and pulled them off, setting them on the stand in front of him. He saw the members glance at him with concern from the window that separated the recording room and the studio but he ignored them and started stretching his arms across his chest.
“Jaejoong-ah, is something the matter?” the thick voice filtered through the speaker in the recording room and Jaejoong wanted to cut it off, wanted to cover his ears and mute everything. He shook his head, rested his hands on his hip and blew out a shaky breath, his cheeks puffing out as he placed his headphones back on.
“It’s nothing… the lyrics threw me off a little that’s all.”
He saw the manager nod his head, somewhat hesitantly, and signaled to the technician to start recording again. Jaejoong closed his eyes as he let the music wash over him, flooding him through the headphones and he opened his mouth to sing the lyrics that made his heart break so easily and bitterly.
Your heart is gone
My heart is strong
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
--
“Let’s audition. Together”
Yunho rolled his head over, his eyes squinting to make out the faint outline of Jaejoong’s head on his pillow. It’s been almost a year now and the two have been sharing the same bed every day without a break. Yunho has found out about the tight tension between Jaejoong’s parents and the fights that broke out every night that drove the boy to escape to Yunho’s room for comfort.
For love.
“Audition? As in… singing and dancing and stuff?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he stifled a yawn, drowsy tears prickling his eyes as he rubbed his lids. “Yeah… you know for SME or JYP or such. We both love singing, well you’re more into rapping, and we’re both decently good at it… so why not try it?”
Yunho pondered on his, his eyes drifting to the ceiling as he chewed on his lower lip. He couldn’t deny the truth in Jaejoong’s words and he found himself smiling at the indirect compliment on his rapping skills.
Suddenly, a small beep came from the watch on Yunho’s wrist and the pair flinched at the sharp sound. Yunho tapped Jaejoong on the shoulder quickly seeing that the other boy has fallen asleep and whispered, “Hurry, make a wish!”
“Wait what…”
“Just make one!”
Yunho squeezed his eyes shut; clapping his hands together as if in prayer and focused all his mental energy on his wish.
To be with Jaejoong and achieve the same dreams together.
He peaked over at Jaejoong who also had his eyes closed but he could tell it was not because of sleep. His eyes traced the slope of Jaejoong’s neck, the sharp collarbone and the prominent shoulder blade.
To be with Jaejoong forever…
“What did you wish for?” He felt the other boy shift, snuggling in closer to his side and Yunho felt his body temperature spike, his cheek flush hot and red.
“Uh um… It’s not going to come true if I say it out loud.”
Jaejoong pouted - Yunho’s heart was racing madly - and whined, “Come on you couldn’t possibly believe in that one. Tell me! Please?”
Being a sucker for puppy eyes, Yunho sighed and gave in. “It’s… it’s to audition successfully and make it into a good company,” he stuttered out, words tripping over each other as he rushed through it and held his breath.
Jaejoong only smiled and pressed himself closer towards Yunho. “That’s it? After all those 11:11’s that has passed, I’m pretty sure that’s not all you’ve wished for right?”
Yunho frowned. “Well… tell me what you wished for too. This isn’t fair, only hearing what I want.”
Jaejoong laughed and rolled on his back, breaking away from Yunho and pulled the cover up to this chin.
“Ok… I wished that I would make it in SM Entertainment.”
“Oh that’s where you want to go?” Yunho raised an eyebrow.
Jaejoong shrugged. “I’ve been a fan of some of their groups. And most of the people they release out there make it big. Look at BoA.”
Yunho smiled, loving the way Jaejoong’s eyes seem to light up whenever he talked about these sorts of things. It set something in him that he never knew was there. A fire of sorts, the deep fire that was buried and now all the barriers were removed.
“I wished for a new car,” he blurted out. Jaejoong laughed, his body shaking with mirth as he rolled over to his side again. “Yeah same here. I have my license and yet I can’t even drive anything.”
The two fell into silence again, their heartbeats muted by the blanket and their breaths measured the seconds that walked by.
“I wished for the two of us to make it. Into SM. Together.”
Yunho looked over in surprised when Jaejoong spoke; he had suspected the boy to have fallen asleep by now. But his voice was soft and hushed, as if he was talking to himself.
“I wish to be together through everything Yunho.”
Their hands bumped into each other under the cover and their fingers locked together, palms pressing against each other as Jaejoong pressed his face against Yunho’s shoulder.
“I wish to be with you.”
Jaejoong lifted his face, his eyes searching through Yunho’s dark orbs as he tilted his head, his lips searching frantically and finally, they melted together, skin against skin as Yunho wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s thin waist, pulling him flushed against his body. Their lips molded and shifted, tongues prodding curiously and teeth nipping playfully as the two giggled nervously into each other mouths but neither cared as Yunho traced Jaejoong’s lower lip with the tip of his tongue, eliciting a small mewl from the smaller boy and caution was thrown out the window as the two became one, skin heated against skin, pants and groans matching in sync with each other’s names on their tongue. And as they wrapped themselves around each other in a tangle of sweaty limps, Yunho pressing his face against Jaejoong’s sweet, vanilla-scented locks and Jaejoong’s lips tracing along Yunho’s collarbones, the night grew still again and Yunho casted out one last wish into the night.
Don’t leave me.
--
“Hyung! Come on we’re going to miss our plane!” Changmin yelled as he tugged at his suitcase and draped his jacket over his shoulder, looking back to see Yunho staring off at the fountain with a coin in hand.
“Hyung! We don’t have time for this!”
Yunho glanced over his shoulder, giving Changmin a small wave signaling for him to go ahead without him. The maknae let out a frustrated yell, attracting several faces towards him and stormed off, his tall figure disappearing into the crowd.
Yunho smiled and shook his head before returning his attention back to the fountain. The water was clear and blue; his reflection crystal clear behind all the ripples and Yunho could see the coins that lie on the bottom of the fountain, some rusting and others fairly new.
Lost wishes…
Yunho weighed the coin he has in his hand on his palm, throwing it up and down, catching it softly before holding it still between his fingers and he closed his eyes one last time.
Grant me this one wish. Please… I want everything to go back to the way it’s supposed to be.
“Take me back to Jaejoong,” he muttered under his breath and he flung the coin into the center of the fountain, watching it slip through the water with a soft plop and land along with the other lost wishes at the bottom.
He didn’t know why he continued to stand there, why he waited, why he thought something magical would happen and he would see the light or something. But he felt something tugging at his neck, the hairs standing straight up and he turned around, hardly daring to believe what he saw.
[…]
ur leaving?
[U-Know Yunho]
not permanently. Going to japan to record Japanese album.
[…]
ah…. I see…. I guess I’ll see you later then.
[U-Know Yunho]
later?
[…]
I heard 11:11 am works too
And so he walked forward, his foot taking him without him thinking and he stood there in front of the many hopeless, useless wishes he had made during the many late and still nights of the days.
“Jaejoong…”
The smaller boy smiled, his white teeth gleaming and he also took a step forward, their chests nearly bumping.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Do you remember?”
Yunho chuckled and grabbed Jaejoong by the wrist before pulling him into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and breathing in the vanilla from his hair.
“Yeah... I do. I always did.”
He could feel Jaejoong smiling against his shoulder, his arms reaching up and gently dragging his fingers through Yunho’s hair. “Did you make it?” he murmured.
“Make what?”
“11:11”
Yunho stiffened and glanced at his watch.
11:15
“Shit...” he sighed. Jaejoong chuckled, his body shaking with his laughter as he pulled back but quickly linked his fingers through Yunho’s.
“Don’t worry. I wished for you,” he said, swinging their arms around as he smiled up at Yunho.
And Yunho saw the teenage boy he had fallen in love with, had loved, and still was in love with. And he saw how all the wishes he has placed on this boy come true, the first kiss, the first love, the friendship that will go beyond the ends of this earth. And he saw the wish he had made on that coin- the lost, useless wish- shine through Jaejoong’s smile, through their intertwined fingers and through their intertwined hearts.
[…]
let’s go back to the way it used to be… I’m tired of this
[U-Know Yunho]
I thought you were tired of us
[…]
I will never be tired of you.
[U-Know Yunho]
how r we even going to get back together like this?
[…]
I’ll fix it. I’ll fix everything. I started it all… and I’ll end it all. Trust me.
[U-Know Yunho]
I just want to see you again. See all five of us again.
[…]
you will. I promise.
Poll Round 2: Make a wish