Frustrated
I hate it when things dont go as planned. Or when your doin something that works and the other person doesnt want to keep doing whats working. If we woukdve kept doing what we were doin and you didnt stop in the middle wed both be happy right now, but no yiu want to stop after every second and then i try to make it work but you keep whispering louder and louder all the wrong questions that clearly indicate were doing something were not supposed to. So i got frustrated. I didnt mean to "yell" at you but you dont understand that my mom is a light sleeper. Gah. I just dont understand why your mad at me??? So i stopped because i was frustrated. I just wish you kept doing what you were doing. Now your mad and you say your calling your mom but its probably christin so you can vent. Or it may be your mom because you miss her. Idk. I just hope this time away from yiur family doesnt make you realize how hard its gonna be when we really do get married and you cant just go back home. I still feel you have a lot to learn. So do i. I really think i need to talk to someone so i can get this stuff off of my chest and see if i am actually wrong for feeling the way i do. Im not supposed to question your trust and loyalty. You dont understand where im coming from and i really wish you did. You say i hold a double standard on our relationship but i think you do. I know for a fact that if i did anything that you did youd be heated and pissed beyond belief. But you do it and you cant see why i get so upset. Do you think thats fair? I dont. I dont know why you think its ok for guys to message you this stuff but if a girl rkghts me youd keep to yourself how you really feel. *sigh* i guess thingsll be that way until i change myself and really learn not to care about all the guys that try for you. I wish you could see how true i stay to you. How no girl ever approaches me or talks to me sideways. How i respect you enough to not give you any reason to think anything other than how much i love you. I really wish youd understand that. Maube one day thingsll be that way and youll know that your the only woman i see ever. I love you so much Monique. You are the only one i see in my life and the only one i want by my side. I hope you feel better. Im sorry i hurt your feelings. I hope you can forgive me. I love you so much.
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