Epilogue
Steve eased into Christian’s room rested if not refreshed from his nap. When he sat down at Christian’s bedside, he saw his boyfriend was awake, staring at the ceiling, but so far hadn’t acknowledged his presence. Maybe it was cliché but with sleep had come clarity. He may not have all the answers, but now he at least knew all the questions, and had made his best guesses.
“You know, I am thinkin’ that you were right in tossin’ me aside. Maybe it would be best if we just parted ways now ‘because, we both know I ain’t gonna make it without fuckin’ up.”
Steve reached out touching Christian’s arm wrapping his fingers firmly around the flesh, not allowing it to escape when Chris tried to pull away. “Too bad, 'cause I don’t think it would be best, and I ain’t goin’ anywhere. However, I’m still makin’ you work for your forgiveness, whether this paralysis is just temporary or permanent.”
“Doc says there’s a chance my part won’t work,” Christian snapped glaring at Steve. “So, just fuck off an’ leave now. I don’t need your pity!”
Sighing Steve narrowed his eyes. “I don’t do shit out of pity. If I have learned anything from this fuckin mess you got us in, no, I should say that we got ourselves into, with Jensen, it’s that you don’t give up just because the climb is a little steeper than you expected.”
“Maybe I was wrong, but I thought we were more than a fuck. Now, if I’m mistaken, just let me know, and I will be happy to leave you alone. But, yesterday you promised me that you’d do anything to make things up to me, so I gotta wonder if you were lying then, or if you’re lying now. If you meant that, and the doctors are wrong, and you get better, what are you gonna do then? ‘Cause I meant it, Chris. You’re on your last shot. You throw me away now, and I ain’t givin’ you another one. Paralysis or not.”
“You don’t wanna take that gamble Steve,” Christian growled angrily and Steve just huffed.
“You tellin' me with all the sex the two of us have had in our lives, we can’t come up with new ways to pleasure each other?” Steve leaned down, lips hovering over Chris’ ear.
Chris shuddered and eyed Steve wondering why he ever thought of putting up a fight.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
“We’re never getting rid of Christian Kane are we?” Jared asked softly startling Jensen who wasn’t aware he was awake.
“Jay,” Jensen started but Jared rolled his head away closing his eyes.
“I just want to come first,” Jared whispered clenching his eyes shut tightly trying to hold the tears in.
“I swear, Jay, on our lives, that you do,” Jensen promised taking Jared’s hand.
“Yeah until Christian fuckin’ Kane beckons.” Jared snapped angrily putting his good hand over his face.
“No Jay,” Jensen said firmly and scared out of his mind reaching over and taking Jared’s hand away from his face. “Please look at me.”
Reluctantly Jared rolled his eyes toward Jensen, waiting for him to continue. “I have made more mistakes with our relationship from the day I met you than I deserve to be forgiven for, but I swear on everything you mean to me, that you come first. I fucked up. I am aware of that, and I am not making the same mistakes again.”
“Without you, I have nothing, without you, I am nothing. When I was so lost I couldn’t even find myself, you found me. While the world was trying to hurt me, you protected me. When Chris tried to mislead me, you guided me. Everything I have today I have because I met you, because you looked at me and looked beyond the drugs and the mess.”
“I know I have a lot to make up for. Just, tell me what you need.”
“I need my momma.” Jared said softly. “I need you and me and my dogs and my momma. I need our lives to be quieter. I need you to be mine. Not share you with Steve or Chris or Mike or Chad.”
Jared laughed humorlessly. “I mean damn, Chad moved on. He called me earlier when you were out getting food. He and Mikey have left and gone to New York to stay with Mike’s family.”
Jared shook his head and angrily slammed his head down onto the bed. “I’m done Jen. I need you. I need to be your first priority, after getting yourself healthy. I need it to be us and fuck the rest of the world Jen. I need you.”
“Then I guess we go to Texas,” Jensen drawled thickly and squeezed Jared’s hand wondering why it felt like he was going home.
The End
The Fanmix, Acknowledgements, and Thanks