Dealing With Mom, 101
I don't know quite what I'm trying to express here, so if it's choppy or sommat, bear with me.
What I'm going to delve into here might seem bizarre to most people on my flist (unless you've already heard it from me), with the exception of
bentzthekiller.
Official/Orthodox/Whatever Judaism forbids any physical contact between members of the opposite sex, or for two members of the opposite sex to be alone in a room together, unless they're married.
The same side of Judaism also prohibits women from singing in front of men.
I've already "broken" the second law listed, and it's done something to my reputation ("OMG the girl who started an all-girls musical theatre group for religious reasons singing in front of a mized audience?!?!? SCANDAL!!!!").
I don't care. This is me. If I can't sing, I'm an unhappy person. That's it.
My mother still objects to it, and something in her (I'm sure) still resents it, but, like all mothers, something in her just melts when it comes down to an actual performance. After the euphoria's worn off, she'll go right back to telling me how wrong it is, but for that short while, she'll forget about it.
I've broken the first rule(s), too.
My mom doesn't know.
My mom doesn't know a lot about me. Yes, I've said it before, I'm saying it again. It makes me sad. I feel like I have to keep hiding things from her, and if I don't, she'll see me as some promiscuous thing. I try really hard to go towards her ideals, but in the end it comes down to her being her, and me being me.
It's insane. Most of my "physical interaction" with guys (simple handslapping, things like that) has gone on behind closed doors, and when Lev hugged me on the street the other day, it was liberating. It sounds totally stupid, but that's the environment I'm living in.
When I wear a go swimming in a mixed crowd, when I sing in front of a mixed crowd, when I hug a guy goodnight...I'm not trying to rebel.
It's me.
What I'm going to delve into here might seem bizarre to most people on my flist (unless you've already heard it from me), with the exception of
bentzthekiller.
Official/Orthodox/Whatever Judaism forbids any physical contact between members of the opposite sex, or for two members of the opposite sex to be alone in a room together, unless they're married.
The same side of Judaism also prohibits women from singing in front of men.
I've already "broken" the second law listed, and it's done something to my reputation ("OMG the girl who started an all-girls musical theatre group for religious reasons singing in front of a mized audience?!?!? SCANDAL!!!!").
I don't care. This is me. If I can't sing, I'm an unhappy person. That's it.
My mother still objects to it, and something in her (I'm sure) still resents it, but, like all mothers, something in her just melts when it comes down to an actual performance. After the euphoria's worn off, she'll go right back to telling me how wrong it is, but for that short while, she'll forget about it.
I've broken the first rule(s), too.
My mom doesn't know.
My mom doesn't know a lot about me. Yes, I've said it before, I'm saying it again. It makes me sad. I feel like I have to keep hiding things from her, and if I don't, she'll see me as some promiscuous thing. I try really hard to go towards her ideals, but in the end it comes down to her being her, and me being me.
It's insane. Most of my "physical interaction" with guys (simple handslapping, things like that) has gone on behind closed doors, and when Lev hugged me on the street the other day, it was liberating. It sounds totally stupid, but that's the environment I'm living in.
When I wear a go swimming in a mixed crowd, when I sing in front of a mixed crowd, when I hug a guy goodnight...I'm not trying to rebel.
It's me.